Community Chat

[Tique]

@hsawaknow    My suggestion: In the future before giving a child a gift, ask the parent if it's ok. Sometimes the response is an immediate "yes"  or "no" but other times they might have a stipulation like seeing it first. Either way it is ultimately the parent's decision.

You didn't mention being worried or concerned about the girls' safety but as mentioned above, continue to be observant and friendly.

[JaneMarple]

What country in Africa is the family from since the continent is so huge? That is a very important clue and will give you the answers to your questions @hsawaknow. 

[occasionalrain]

The mother should have thanked you and told you why her daughter wasn't permitted to accept the gift. Her response was rude leaving you to wonder if it was the choice of gift, the value of the gift, or any gift.

[151949]

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@San Antonio Gal wrote:

As other posters have asked, how were you able to even find out about the girl's birthday if they can't leave the room?

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She did not say they can't leave the room ever. She said not while the Mother is at work. Huge difference. I imagine she would expect them to be using that time studying and get their school work done.

[BirkiLady]

@hsawaknow @151949  My son was not allowed to accept gifts from anyone other than family or close friends. I probably would not have considered a neighbor a close friend, especially if that neighbor didn't know my history. That family are living in a new country and probably with little money.  When my son was home alone, he wasn't allowed outside either. It's for their own protection and safety. That mom sounds like she's doing the best she can! Perhaps it is best if you give that family their privacy. If the mother initiates anything more, you'll know she's willing to become an acquaintance. She was right in not accepting a gift. Let it go. 

[hsawaknow]

To clarify, I have lived here a year. The mother had her mobile home catch fire and she and her daughter and son {he is 14} moved into the house a year and 1/2 ago. I got to know the kids during the summer and would talk to "Claire" quite often. (she is the daughter) she had told me she was very shy and had anxiety issues and was afraid to be around crowds and thats why she was homeschooled. Her brother "Shaun" has a mild form of autism.

Yvone is the mother, she is from Africa and has been living in the states for 20 years and is a caretaker for the elderly. She is not very friendly and she is very strict with her children. Because I am disabled I am at home, and she asked me to make sure her children dont go outside and only leave their room to go to the bathroom. When she comess home she cooks their meals and then they retreat into their room. All 3 of them sleep on the floor.

I do find it odd and unhealthy a Mom, a 16 y/o girl and 14 y/o boy in a room mean't for 1 but I keep to myself and mind my business. I feel sorry for the children.

We live up in the hills in a well to do area it is quiet and safe as one place can be. I will keep the bath gel and use the gloss myself. An xtra bonus for me.

[goldensrbest]

@hsawaknow,That is very sad,do you live in one room also?Don't they have any beds?

[hsawaknow]

Its a 4 bedroom house I live in 1 room and 2 others live in their rooms. The man I rent the room from  knew Yvone and helped her out when her mobile home  caught fire. I dont think he knew she would be living here this long.

There is not enough room to have 3 beds in the room so they sleep on a yoga type matt.

[qbetzforreal]

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@hsawaknow wrote:

To clarify, I have lived here a year. The mother had her mobile home catch fire and she and her daughter and son {he is 14} moved into the house a year and 1/2 ago. I got to know the kids during the summer and would talk to "Claire" quite often. (she is the daughter) she had told me she was very shy and had anxiety issues and was afraid to be around crowds and thats why she was homeschooled. Her brother "Shaun" has a mild form of autism.

Yvone is the mother, she is from Africa and has been living in the states for 20 years and is a caretaker for the elderly. She is not very friendly and she is very strict with her children. Because I am disabled I am at home, and she asked me to make sure her children dont go outside and only leave their room to go to the bathroom. When she comess home she cooks their meals and then they retreat into their room. All 3 of them sleep on the floor.

I do find it odd and unhealthy a Mom, a 16 y/o girl and 14 y/o boy in a room mean't for 1 but I keep to myself and mind my business. I feel sorry for the children.

We live up in the hills in a well to do area it is quiet and safe as one place can be. I will keep the bath gel and use the gloss myself. An xtra bonus for me.

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That's a judgement call.  You also live in one room because that's what you can afford.  Same with this mother.

[hsawaknow]

@qbetzforrealNow you are judging me, regarding to how and what I can afford.