Community Chat

[phoenixbrd]

@hsawaknow This situation is disturbing.  It was kind of you to think of the girl.  However it sounds as if there are larger issues than the gift.  I  am wondering how long this woman is at work.    This raises several questions regarding leaving the children in a room, as well as when is she "homeschooling" these children?  "Not permitted to go outside or leave their room".....I don't believe in interfering with another's home life, but I know I would be concerned about the children in this situation. There is so much that we don't know about the sitution to determine further action.

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@hsawaknow wrote:

I rent a room in a large house. A woman lives in a room with her 2 children. The children are homeschooled and while their Moms at work not permitted to go outside or leave their room. 

The girl turned 16 today and I put a gift outside their door. I bought her the philosophy Birthday Confetti and gave her the lip gloss. 

Her Mother knocked on my door and handed the gift back to me and informed me that "she could not accept the gift". I asked her why and she replied "she just cant".

I was taken back, I thought maybe it might be a religion reason but a JW is allowed to accept gifts even though they dont celebrate things like birthdays and Christmas.

The Mother is from Africa and they didnt celebrate Christmas or Thanksgiving or Easter so I wonder if its a custom thing or she just didn't want me to give her daughter a gift. To be honest it kind of hurt my feelings. Her daughter is very sweet.

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[151949]

Since we can't possibly know what culture or horrendous situation they left behind  - we can't judge the Mom or her rules. There are some horrific situations in Africa. She just hasn't adjusted to being here and being safe.Also, we don't know about the neighborhood where this house is located.(no offence intended to the OP)

[FranandZoe]

I know you meant well but unless you're close to them I can't imagine why you'd give a gift.  Some people just don't want charity.  Maybe the Mom doesn't want to "owe" you - you know?  Maybe she can't possibly reciprocate and just doesn't want to get involved.  Unless you know someone's circumstances, are close to them, probably best to not get involved.

How are the kids home schooled if she's not at home?

[goldensrbest]

I  know you gave her the gift out of the goodness of your heart,   perhaps they just are not  comfortable in their surroundings yet, keep speaking to mom and kids ,they may well need a friend.

[okaywitheasypay]

Fear? they have probably encountered ugly biases if they speak with an accent. 

It was a kindness of you to give a lovely gift .I will bet you have reached out and had conversations with the young girl. I understand your hurt. 

I would suggest to keep going with being neighborly with a watchful eye out for any egregious actions . There are some red flags as other posters have mentioned. One can report things to authorities anonymously and let them sort it out if you feel the need. 

[qbetzforreal]

Perhaps, even through you all live in the same house-you are considered a stranger and most people don't accept gifts from strangers.  Don't take it personally.

[San Antonio Gal]

As other posters have asked, how were you able to even find out about the girl's birthday if they can't leave the room?

[missy1]

Is the woman with the two kids the owner of the house?

[goldensrbest]

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@missy1 wrote:

Is the woman with the two kids the owner of the house?

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I would think not.

[goldensrbest]

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@San Antonio Gal wrote:

As other posters have asked, how were you able to even find out about the girl's birthday if they can't leave the room?

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She said while their mom is at work,read her post.