Community Chat

[Parischic]

@teganslaw, thank you so much. I appreciate you backing me up in what I need to do and not having any guilt in doing it.

[Chopsmom]

@Parischic 

Wishing you all the best for the New Year!

[CatsyCline]

@Parischic  every situation is differnt. Depression, especially when it's difficult to be treated, takes its toll.  so was your son a small child when you divorced and moved out? if the kids are 16 and 31 maybe there was a lot of confusion  and hurt feelings since they've not made  contact for 8 yrs?

[San Antonio Gal]

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@Parischic wrote:
@Chopsmom, I appreciate your comment..I will start therapy in the new year.
I'm still trying to process her last comment wishing I 'would die soon' but since I haven't seen or spoken to her in 8 years except for Saturday I should of known she would of said something cruel

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@Parischic  - So sorry this has happened with your daughter.  No matter how mad she is with you, what she said was just terrible.  Glad to hear you will be starting therapy soon.  I hope one day your daughter will come to her senses.  Take care.

[CABRIT]

I'm so sorry for your situation, but understand how hard it is for you.  I have a similar situation with my eldest son, who we haven't seen for over 40 years.  In my case, my Mother In Law contributed to the estrangement, as she pitted him against me from when he was a baby.  At 15-16, he moved out, became so dislikeable, I didn't want to see him.  This was in the U.K.  When we came to the US, he was 18, so we never intended to bring him with us, especially since we hardly ever saw him.  But he caused so many problems in my family, we felt we had to bring him over.  He promised to go back to school, but sat in cafes instead.  I became very depressed after he threatened to hurt me several times, so we sent him back to the U.K.  My MIL stepped back in, and between the 2 of them, I became the worst mother in the world.  He was 20 now, and should have been on his own.  We lost touch with him, he married, had 2 kids, who grew up believing we didn't want anything to do with them, but eventually we made contact with them, and help them all we can.  There's more to this story, but I knew I couldn't stay in this toxic relationship, so broke all ties with him.  I may be the odd one out, but I would let your daughter make the first move.  Its very sad when families split like this, but in both of our cases, someone else caused the problem with their hate & bitterness. 

[Parischic]

@CatsyCline, yes my son was 7. I saw him once a week for 3 hours. When Covid hit I didn't want to see him at all. Then between 2019 until now he slowly stopped talking to me. His older brother hasn't had anything to do with me for 8 years either. Well my 16 year old started asking me questions about my mental illness and I told him that I am in treatment for depression and I am doing well and my life is going great. I have a job, I live on my own, I travel etc. But his older sister has led him to believe I live a sad lonely life and makes fun of my MENTAL ILLNESS! So on Thanksgiving I tried to call my son to wish him a happy Thanksgiving and he texted me back saying :LEAVE US ALONE...I couldn't believe it. I have done nothing to these kids. Their father was having an affair on me that's why I left. I was a stay at home mom. Because he made all the money he got custody and he had a better attorney and got the house.
Their father has a well paying job and he pays for everything. He pays me Alimony and complains about it every month.
So after how my kids have treated me, I still sent birthday cards, presents etc they just tossed them. So I'm done.
No more abuse for me.

[Imaoldhippie]

@Parischic .................Sadly there is not much you can do when the kids minds have been poisoned against a parent by the other parent.  Some kids eventually see the truth or seek to find the truth.  But your daughter at age 22 when the divorce happened she should be aware that it was not all one sided.  Apparently she has chosen sides.

I am sorry I can only imagine how much that must hurt.

[JoyFilled Warrior]

@Parischic      *hugs*

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"Families - Can't live with 'em, Cant live without 'em"

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As far  as I can see, your #1 JOB is to make sure ** your Depression is always, always managed, in the most helpful, healthful way.**   

     And "5crew anything else!"

Depression is a killer!  You know that, (of course you know this)!

*Your job* is to "out live it!"  Outlive Depression!

It's your "Number 1" - "HANDS DOWN!" - "NO CONTEST!"  "job"

Remember, if you do anything destructive, esp to yourself, "they win!"

And You -->    DONT LET ANYBODY WIN!

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LIVE!  .     besides.. You have us!  

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See us come to you, meet you here, & support you, just where you are!  

[Parischic]

@JoyFilled Warrior
Thank you for your support! I'm slowly getting over the shock of my daughter saying 'hope you die soon' and making fun of mental illness.
What type of person does that? I mean you hear about people with mental illness going out and killing people and everyone talks about how we need to help those people and here is my child at 31 making fun of my depression!
Lucky for me, I have just depression and take an antidepressant. But I'm working, I live on my own, I love clothes, jewelry, I look good, take care of me.
I go to church, meet friends.
When I saw my daughter she looked the same but older. She was still wearing Goth heavy eye makeup, black lipstick, a plastic tattoo on her chest. It looked like she was stuck in 2012. When I asked her what did I do that was so wrong she couldn't answer me. All she said was YOU HAVE A MENTAL ILLNESS AND NOBODY WANTS TO BE AROUND YOU.
Obviously her father has never told her all the hard work I put into changing myself.
And your so right MakeUp. I'm not gonna let them win.
Why do I want to be around them. They are mentally abusive to me and like my psychiatrist said, that's a form of mental illness that THEY HAVE!

Thank you all who have helped me. You truly have given me strength to get by especially with Christmas coming up.
Your all wonderful strong woman!!!