BEST day ever - Page 2

stevieb · ‎03-10-2010

@NicksmomESQ wrote:
I'm sorry to hear about your son's lack of attentiveness. I understand your devotion because I felt the same way about my son when he was growing up. I still do.
My son is married now. I have to say that I always worried about what would happen to our relationship if he married. I guess DH & I are lucky.We're closer to him than ever. DH just went through treatment for prostate cancer & my son has been there every step of the way. He's accompanied us to doctors appointments & visits,calls & texts often.
Maybe you can try talking to your son.It May help to remind him of the role you always played in his life. Sometimes a little reminder goes a long way.

A heart to heart about how the OP feels is one thing, imposing guilt, intentionally or not, is something altogether different. People tend to avoid people that make them feel guilty or that suggest something is somehow owed to them

In my pantry with my cupcakes...

colliegirls · ‎05-13-2012

Sadly, this is true for many of us with married sons. For some reason the wife thinks it is all about her and her family. I see it over and over again with my friends. It is very hard for the man's family. I don't understand it.

NicksmomESQ · ‎08-19-2014

@stevieb wrote:
@NicksmomESQ wrote:
I'm sorry to hear about your son's lack of attentiveness. I understand your devotion because I felt the same way about my son when he was growing up. I still do.
My son is married now. I have to say that I always worried about what would happen to our relationship if he married. I guess DH & I are lucky.We're closer to him than ever. DH just went through treatment for prostate cancer & my son has been there every step of the way. He's accompanied us to doctors appointments & visits,calls & texts often.
Maybe you can try talking to your son.It May help to remind him of the role you always played in his life. Sometimes a little reminder goes a long way.

A heart to heart about how the OP feels is one thing, imposing guilt, intentionally or not, is something altogether different. People tend to avoid people that make them feel guilty or that suggest something is somehow owed to them

@stevieb I totally agree with you. Trying to lay a guilt trip on your child, or anyone never works. I was thinking more about the OP having a heart to heart with her son.Her feelings are hurt it may just help to convey that to him.

deepwaterdotter · ‎03-09-2010

Guilt can easily result in resentment.

Anonymous032819 · ‎03-29-2019

@colliegirls wrote:
Sadly, this is true for many of us with married sons. For some reason the wife thinks it is all about her and her family. I see it over and over again with my friends. It is very hard for the man's family. I don't understand it.

That's because it is about the husband, wife and kid/s.

That's the new family, and that's where the priorities should be.

A parent's job is to guide, nurture and teach their child to be independent, caring, and to guide them in to adulthood. And then to encourage them to spread their wings, and to let them go to live their own lives, separate from mommy and daddy.

It seems to me that a lot of moms have a difficult time of cutting those apron strings, and allowing their adult children, sons especially, to live their own lives, take care of their own family, separate from them.

The Sky looks different when you have someone you love up there.

RetRN · ‎10-01-2013

@colliegirls wrote:
Sadly, this is true for many of us with married sons. For some reason the wife thinks it is all about her and her family. I see it over and over again with my friends. It is very hard for the man's family. I don't understand it.

I don't know, but I wonder if location may sometimes be a factor. Distance can make seeing others more difficult although they can certainly stay in touch via phone, texts, email, and other social media.

I think it is sometimes difficult for grandparents knowing that their grandchildren are much closer to the other grandparents.

decaf · ‎05-13-2021

SOME moms have difficulty cutting the apron strings. Also, if there's a lack of closeess between parents and child, sometimes it's just more apparent once that child marries. Then the parents can blame it on the new wife or new husband.

suzyQ3 · ‎03-09-2010

This is one of those threads in which we can only speculate.

~Who in the world am I? Ah, that's the great puzzle~ Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland

NicksmomESQ · ‎08-19-2014

If there is closeness between mother/ father & child then it should remain after marriage. I have put zero pressure on my son. I have no problem with him living an independent life.Maybe that's why we are still close. His wife loves me & we are all extremely close. This applies to her parents as well. The 6 of us are planning another vacation together.
I was always close with my MIL.My DH adored his mother & I loved that about him. That's what made him such a wonderful husband & father. A man being close to his mother doesn't make him weak. It makes him strong. It makes him a better husband. There's a difference between a good son & a mamma's boy. One is a man & the other is still a child. My DH & son are both men.I feel lucky to have them in my life.My DIL has thanked me on numerous occasions for "raising such a caring & loving son".