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Honored Contributor
Posts: 10,223
Registered: ‎10-01-2013

Re: Assisted Living

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@chrystaltree wrote:

"Active" does not mean that she doesn't need assistance with the activities of daily living.  Her family isn't wasting her money.  She has MS and while she can get out and about, probably with asstive devices like a walker or cane; she needs assistance with personal care, meals, housekeeping, perhaps medication management.  The woman is just in the wrong facility for her....but it's possible that nothing else was available.  


Where did you find all of this information? It is not showing up on my computer.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 8,179
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Assisted Living

[ Edited ]

Why couldn't she live with her children, and pay them 4000 a month or less?

Do her children let her see her dogs?

 Do her children have to have accountabilty for her money (court check on it)?

Honored Contributor
Posts: 10,223
Registered: ‎10-01-2013

@chiclet wrote:

I am original poster and when my sister had her stroke she fell and hit her head on the coffee table.  She was fuzzy at first and seemed to be living in the past but that cleared up after a few weeks.  During that time she signed power of attorney to her daughters who drew out all her money and put it in their names to pay for this assisted living.  My sister feels that at 4000 a month she will be broke soon and then what.  I have no say in anything but just listen to her and feel so heartbroken for her.  I think independent living would be good.  She has MS but it is not degenerating fast.  She seems to be stable in that regard.  I guess I am just venting because my friends don't like talking about depressing things. I don't either but I just need somewhere to let it out.  She misses her dogs so much and being able to walk around outside with them.  Thanks for reading my post and for your suggestions and prayers.  I appreciate it so much.


I feel even sadder after reading this. I would get that POA revoked if possible. Can't help but question the daughter's motives. I will keep you and your sister in my thoughts and prayers. 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 23,835
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

oh I see now... she signed over all her money to your greedy sisters... then that was her mistake. Why did she do this? She needed an attorney of her own to tell her not to give the family power over her funds.  That was her mistake.....

Honored Contributor
Posts: 14,795
Registered: ‎01-02-2011

The daughters would need more than a POA to ‘force’ her into an AL facility.  They would need to have a guardianship — difficult and expensive to get.  The legal system bends over backwards to protect someone’s autonomy.  It sounds like she needs legal help to deal with the daughters.  

Honored Contributor
Posts: 14,660
Registered: ‎03-16-2010

@chiclet, reading about your sister's daughters getting their mother to sign over power of attorney and taking her money has saddened me even more. It seems to me they may have taken advantage of their mother at a time when she wasn't able to think for herself. One must have great trust in their children to have their best interests at heart, it doesn't always work out that way.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 17,739
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

You know lots of people think it is so wonderful ,to be put in a place like this. When my husband had his fall, his nurse wanted to send him to a nursing home ,to rehab

 

His nurse was very young ,and took him for a walk in the hallway and down the stairs. They came to a fire door that weighed hundreds of pounds, and of course in his condition, it was hard for him to open it.

 

When they got back to  his room, she mentioned to him he had problems navigating this door. He said to her, I don't have any doors like this in my home. I mentioned it to our Dr and asked her if these people ever went to a nursing home ,and had a look around? What makes some people think it is such an honor and a privilege to be sent to one?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 10,223
Registered: ‎10-01-2013

@cherry wrote:

You know lots of people think it is so wonderful ,to be put in a place like this. When my husband had his fall, his nurse wanted to send him to a nursing home ,to rehab

 

His nurse was very young ,and took him for a walk in the hallway and down the stairs. They came to a fire door that weighed hundreds of pounds, and of course in his condition, it was hard for him to open it.

 

When they got back to  his room, she mentioned to him he had problems navigating this door. He said to her, I don't have any doors like this in my home. I mentioned it to our Dr and asked her if these people ever went to a nursing home ,and had a look around? What makes some people think it is such an honor and a privilege to be sent to one?

 

 

I've never heard anyone say that it would be an honor and a privilege to be sent to a nursing home. Where on earth did you see this? 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 17,739
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

I didn't see it here. I was just wondering  why  a young nurse was so eager to  send my husband to a nursing home. He could dress himself, feed himself, get in and out of bed by himself..

Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,944
Registered: ‎03-16-2010

If she is of sound mind then how did her children put her in there? Something does not sound right here. Could she live alone with some assistance from a paid aide? I would explore that route.