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Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,889
Registered: ‎03-13-2010

Re: Are They Expecting Cash? Wedding Couple another Registered Anywhere.


@CelticCrafter wrote:

Given the fact that this is not a first marriage for either of them, I would say they aren't registered because they already have duplicates of everything they already need and don't want or need more stuff.

 

This is just my own opinion and feeling - a donation to a charity, any charity, in their name is the worst gift ever unless it was something they specifically asked for.

 

 

 

 


I kind of agree.  I don't think it's the worst gift ever, but unless I know someone is really, really passionate about a particular charity, I would never donate in their name in lieu of a gift for a special occasion.  They have to specifically request it or I have to be extremely confident that it's something they would want.

 

 

 

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,889
Registered: ‎03-13-2010

Re: Are They Expecting Cash? Wedding Couple another Registered Anywhere.


@reiki604 wrote:

How about gift certificate for a couples massage?

 


I think that's a good idea if she knows they would enjoy that.  Lots of people (including me!) wouldn't.  

 

They're good friends, though, so she would probably know if they would like it.  I would just be sure first.

Esteemed Contributor
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Re: Are They Expecting Cash? Wedding Couple another Registered Anywhere.


@Mindy D wrote:

 


@sidsmom wrote:

If it’s your husband’s best friend, just invite them over for a

nice dinner after the wedding.  I really don’t understand why

the gift-giving process is so hard. In this day/age, if they don’t 

tell me exactly who/what/when/where, they don’t want anything.

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with attending a wedding

without a gift.  


We’ve had them over a million times. I don’t think they are expecting gifts, but I think that  we should gift something. I’m on the fence right now.


 

I think you're putting too much thought into what they "expect".  They're your friends, they're getting married, and IMO you should give them something.  It sounds as though you want to give them a gift, and I absolutely would too.  But it shouldn't have anything to do with their expectations. 

 

I attend events all the time, and I always bring a gift - sometimes big, sometimes small.  But what the hosts or bride or whoever expects just never crosses my mind.  I don't think it's about that at all.  That's not what gifts are supposed to be.  If my friends weren't expecting gifts, I would still want to give them something anyway, so I'm not really understanding the whole expectation thing.

 

I would also not ask them if they're expecting gifts.  I think that's awkward, even among close friends.  

 

I agree with you that you should give them a gift.  But I wouldn't stress about it.  It's actually fairly easy.  They don't need "things", so - as several of us have said - a gift card (in an amount as small or large as you want it to be) to a restaurant or a place they enjoy - seems perfect because it's not just a gift but also a nice night out.  If you want to buy them an actual thing, then see what you can find that seems to fit in with their taste.  But I wouldn't overthink this.  

Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,955
Registered: ‎08-13-2010

Re: Are They Expecting Cash? Wedding Couple another Registered Anywhere.

I say my 90yr fil married a 86yr old girl, this man wants to live off of other peoples money. He got into 3 on line sights & found this one, Wow he couldn't pay for his wife's funeral his daughter & son did it gave him money every month paid his car ins &  taxes my husband was so upset took a few months to say hey we are done with his bill glad he got new wife & sil said same thing, They got married in Vegas no one showed up. Wonder what her kids think of it. We gave nothing. Just live with eachother but he has nothing so he gained her money being married to her, selfish man but we are done with his bills. We gain.no more monthly checks or his ins bills.

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,073
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Are They Expecting Cash? Wedding Couple another Registered Anywhere.

Do they both golf ? If so. a gift card from their favorite golf course would be fine.  Or how about a couples massage, with a bottle of wine and a gift card to their favorite restaurant. This would be a romantic gift Smiley Happy

Honored Contributor
Posts: 10,427
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Are They Expecting Cash? Wedding Couple another Registered Anywhere.

I am seriously kind of shocked and disgusted ---I don't care how close these people are--if they have a boatload of $$$ I would NEVER attept to buy them anything---especially at the ages they are and their  marital history----how crass and rude and greedy!!!!! Amazing--------Smiley Frustrated

Valued Contributor
Posts: 635
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Are They Expecting Cash? Wedding Couple another Registered Anywhere.

I would definitely not go to the wedding empty handed. I’d be so embarrassed. I also would never donate to a charity in their name. I think that’s very presumptuous unless you know for sure that that’s exactly what they want and for what charity.

IMO, the best idea would be the nice restaurant gift card, a bottle of wine or whatever they drink, if they drink at all, and a nice wedding card with a personal note from you and your husband. That way they’d have a very nice, free night out. I think just about anyone would like that.
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Posts: 16,480
Registered: ‎03-14-2010

Re: Are They Expecting Cash? Wedding Couple another Registered Anywhere.

I think it is the responisibility of the couple to state NO GIFTS PLEASE, even if it's in bad taste to include it in the invitation.  They shouldn't want them, shouldn't expect them, and should have made that very clear.  Since they did not, I would say you have to give them something, but for a couple of that age I would not give cash.  I agree with the wine/restaurant/spa suggestion.

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Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,384
Registered: ‎03-19-2010

Re: Are They Expecting Cash? Wedding Couple another Registered Anywhere.

@godi 

 

I totally agree with you on your gift idea of a Restaurant gift certificate and a bottle of wine.  Or, even a bottle of wine and two wine glasses -- they have those new stemless wine glasses at Amazon with cute sayings or different things, like the outline of a golfer, or swimmer etched on them. 

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Posts: 116
Registered: ‎11-05-2017

Re: Are They Expecting Cash? Wedding Couple another Registered Anywhere.

How about one of those wine and painting a picture evening?  I think you would just purchase a coupon for this.