Community Chat

[Sweetbay magnolia]

Oh, I don't know.  You have every reason to be sensitive, and upset, but I would imagine your friend just can't relate to your situation.  I wouldn't consider it anymore than that.  She's just sharing her life with you.

I understand, it hurts.  I don't mean to come across as insensitive.

[aroc3435]

@ellaphant    Just my take.  Is your friend hosting the holiday gatherings at her home?  If so it would be nice if she invited you.

If not, she perhaps can't extend an invitation to some other relative's house.  (Family dynamics can be so strange.)

It wouldn't bother me too much that she nadders on.  If it was me I would just acknowledge her stories briefly and move her along to another topic that wouldn't circle back to the topic that makes me uncomfortable.

I would care about the long term friendship more than the holiday business.

[BirkiLady]

@ellaphant  Yes, I think you are overly sensitive. Why can't you be happy for your dear friend and her large family? Enjoy her excitement! Share in her pleasure, which she is sharing with you. 

And, no, don't ask to be included in their family get-togethers. That would be rude and imposing upon an intimate family gathering with long-standing traditions which you would not understand. You wouldn't "get" the jokes and probably feel more uncomfortable while  listening to their family memories and watching them unwrap gifts. 

Many of us have spend holidays alone or with friends. We have made our lives complete without our husbands, parents or families due to their other commitments. Life goes on.

You cannot expect one friend to be your only social companionship. Get out there and make new friends. You are long overdue.

Perhaps a few counseling sessions might help you find a positive outlook with being alone. 

[CrazyDaisy]

Honestly, yes I think you are being sensitive.  You said you do not enjoy the holidays, ok.  She has respected that, perhaps that is why she did not think to include you.  I do not enjoy many activities and events that my friends attend, yet I listen to them talk about them.  Just as I am sure she listens to me telling her about things she is not interested.  If it bothers you to listen to her discussing her holidays, say something.  She is just talking about things going in in her life.

[Scooby Doo]

Your friend can't acknowledge what she doesn't know.  If you've known her that long there should be open communication between you two.  Tell her.  You have to teach people how to treat you.  Just do it nicely and without drama.

[pigletsmom]

Are you upset that she doesn't invite you or upset that she talks about her holiday? If it's the latter I don't think you should be upset. If you've decided you don't want to celebrate that's fine but other people will celebrate and I would be happy for them.

If you want to be invited maybe you should talk to her about that. You say she's your closest friend so start new traditions with her and her family. Sadly the cycle of life can work out this way but I can't imagine your family would want you hating holidays because they've passed on. They'd want you to enjoy your life I would think.

[elated]

Is this person a real friend? Sometimes we confuse acquaintances with friendship. If you were my friend, I would invite you to spend the holidays with my family.  It is hard to be alone on the holidays. Maybe you should start looking for another friend, the one you have has checked out.

Wishing you well in the New Year. 

[cherry]

I think you might be a bit lonely, and when you hear things like this, it just brings it home. Sometimes ,people brag because , they think it makes them look better, and sometimes, they are really insecure ,and trying to convince everyone, how perfect their life is

The grass isn't always greener

[Mom2Dogs]

@ellaphant if she knows you are alone, it would have been nice to invite you for dinner, or something during the holidays.....that's what good friends do.  I have very little family, my very good friend always includes me and DH on their family gatherings...we have been friends since 3rd grade, I diapered, fed and babysat her children, we are all pretty close.

I think she should have just made a passing comment about the holidays and left it at that.

[SeaMaiden]

@ellaphant  I think your “friend” is just clueless. Are you sure she really has your back? She sounds insensitive.