Community Chat

[hckynut]

You have gone along with it for 40 years and you think this is going to change now? well, unless your husband is different than most of the man I have met over many years and decades the chances of something changing after 40 years is slim to none.

[esmeraldagooch]

Sorry, I think you're making too much over this. I am left behind states away often for long periods of time. Right now I am in GA and DH is living in CA. If you're moving soon it will be over soon and you do have a choice when to go also.

[ID2]

I'm in my 60's, been married for 38 years, I tend to let things slide now. Years ago I would get all upset over silly things, but now? Not so much anymore. Why on earth can't he go down to your condo to enjoy it too? You must have known this probably would happen when you bought it 6 months ago. Let it go, let him enjoy his time alone, and don't ruin your time in your wonderful new place. Enjoy!

[AngelPuppy1]

I think you have a right to feel bad about this. If this were a new type of behavior for him, then I would be really upset and concerned. But, since you say he's always been pretty much this way, and from the sounds of it, very much self-centered and a kind of "me first" person, then I would not read anything more into it. However, I don't blame you for being hurt.

The fact that you are retiring and getting to move into a new place in Florida is exciting and you should be getting to feel happy. He is stealing your happiness --- don't let him do that! Focus on you!!! He seems to focus on himself, so you need to focus more on YOU!!!

The next time something comes up, you must make sure you state how you feel and what you would like him to do. If you do not say how you are feeling, you cannot expect him to just know. It doesn't mean that after you do say how you feel that he will just all of a sudden jump on board. But at least you will have your say and I think even that will make you feel a little better.

As others here have said, he has been this way throughout your married life, so it is very doubtful that he is going to have a serious personality change at this point.

I hope you really enjoy your new life in Florida!

[JuJu Squeezie]

The ""Bunny"" may bring him a rotten Easter egg.

[Penellope]

On 3/12/2015 LucyGoose said:

No, OP. I don't think you're being too sensitive. It sounds like he doesn't even miss you, or want you, where's the passion? That's how I would feel if my husband went on down to the condo and couldn't even wait a month so I could go with him. That would hurt my feelings, too. I'd ask him if he had a problem with me.

I think she should TELL him she has a problem with HIM.

[Pook]

I don't think you are being overly sensitive. I do admire you for not making a big deal out of it because even if you had told him, he most likely would have resented you if he felt he had to stay to appease you. It would be interesting to know how he would react if you were the one not having to work and went down without him! I would just let it go and enjoy my time alone. It's good to get some alone time in any relationship.

[evelomaddict]

did he at least leave a not? nope, not being overly sensitive at all.

[Penellope]

Sounds like you've had to appease him for 40 years. It should be his turn. That's the give and take of a marriage. You should say, "I know you have run the show and have done things your way for 40 years, but this time it's not ok. We are married and we live together, not apart."

[Krimpette]

What did he say when you told him how upset his decision made you?