Community Chat

[Isobel Archer]

I would definitely let her know.  The fact that there was no gift receipt does not necessarily mean she packed it herself.  I have had experience - more than once - of items arriving without a gift receipt, wrapping,  - or even an indication of who sent it - despite my specifying on the website that I wanted (and paid for) all three.

[queendiva]

OK. Thanks for the feedback. Called FedEx CS. They said to get in touch with GF and blame FedEx for the broken item. GF can open a claim within 60 days.

Will suggest to Bride that's what she should do.

Thanks to alll who replied.

[Cakers3]

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@noodleann wrote:

It's important that, however disappointing it may be to her, the GF know about the breakage and loss, for three reasons.

One, if it is insured, she gets the money, not the recipient, because she actually suffered the loss. She might be able to purchase a replacement. 

Two, if she packed it, she needs to learn about the realities of packing, and there really is a learning curve. Even metals can break, especially things like pot metal, which is brittle, but people don't realize that. There are all kinds of guides to good packing online, or she may be wisest in having a professional pack something like this in the future.

Three, telling her the truth now prevents any misunderstanding about why the bride doesn't have the item--and no one has to lie. That seems a valuable point when you're talking about two women who want to have an enduring relationship as sisters-in-law.

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@noodleann  All good points-especially since GF spent the $$ to purchase the gift. The gift shouldn't just be discarded as though it really didn't matter. 

[viva923]

let the girlfriend know about the breakage. 

she will find out about it. Be honest and let her know the gift did arrive but it was broken.

she would have to file the claim with fed-ex for breakage.

[chickenbutt]

It wasn't clear to me whether GF packed and shipped it or whether the store where she purchased packed and shipped it for her.

If the store did and it fell within the automatic insurance coverage, maybe it can be replaced.

I kind of think that the situation could be brought to her attention kindly, without damaging the friendship unless she is a particularly sensitive person.  Maybe she can get it replaced.

But if it doesn't come up and she never sees the gift in the person's house she might just think they didn't like it and either just stuck it away or gave it away.  Plus, how does one thank the person without letting them know because if they thank her, without letting her know, then it will be kind of weird later.

I don't know - I guess it depends on the people involved.  YMMV of course.  Those are just my thoughts.

I'll just say for a sort of similar experience I had - I would send my husband's aunt and cousin a very expensive item each year and never knew until later that one of them was stale and dry.  If I had known  at the time I would have been able to get it replaced.  Finding out WAY down the line I just felt badly because I had wasted all that money and they didn't end up with the quality to which they were accustomed.    It was a lose-lose, since I never knew.

[Bri36]

If I'm a gift giver, I want to know if it arrived damaged or something is wrong with it.  I would do whatever I could to make sure the person receiving my gift was happy.  

It would upset me if something was wrong and nothing was said.