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Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,421
Registered: ‎06-06-2011

An eighteen-year-old came home with a Porsche.

  His parents  began to yell and scream, "Where did you get that car?"

 He calmly told them, "I bought it today."

 "With what money!?" demanded his parents. "We know what a Porsche costs."

 "Well, said the boy, "this one cost me fifteen dollars."

 The parents began to yell even louder. "Who would sell a car like that for fifteen dollars!?" they asked.

 "It was the lady up the street," said the boy. "Don't know her name - they just moved in. She saw me ride past on my bike and asked me if I wanted to buy a Porsche for fifteen  dollars."

 "Oh my goodness!" moaned the mother, "she must be a child abuser. Who knows what she will do next? John, you go right up there and see what's going on."

 So the boy's father walked up the street to the house where the lady lived and found her out in the yard calmly planting flowers. He introduced himself as the father of the boy to whom she had sold a Porsche to for fifteen dollars and demanded to know why she did it.

 "Well," she said, "this morning I got a phone call from my husband.  I thought he was on a business trip, but I learned from a friend he had run off to Hawaii with his secretary. Then apparently she stole all his money and stranded him there! Well he called me, without a dollar to his name, and asked me to sell his new Porsche and send him the money. So that's exactly what I did."

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea-Robert A. Heinlein
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Posts: 19,543
Registered: ‎06-17-2015

Woman LOL

"" Compassion is a verb."-Thich Nhat Hanh
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Registered: ‎01-10-2013

Good one!

Image result for lol animated pics

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Registered: ‎08-22-2013

That's my kinda girl! LOL

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Registered: ‎08-19-2010

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Posts: 19,658
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Too cute! On the same note (hope you don't mind!).....

 

CURTAIN RODS


She spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases. On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things. On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining room table by candle-light, put on some soft background music, and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar, and a bottle of spring-water

 

When she had finished, she went into each and every room and deposited a few half-eaten shrimp shells dipped in caviar into the hollow of the curtain rods. She then cleaned up the kitchen and left.

 

When the husband returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss for the first few days. Then slowly, the house began to smell.

 

They tried everything; cleaning, mopping and airing the place out. Vents were checked for dead rodents and carpets were steam cleaned. Air fresheners were hung everywhere. Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which they had to move out for a few days and in the end they even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting. Nothing worked!!!

 

People stopped coming over to visit. Repairmen refused to work in the house. The maid quit. Finally, they could not take the stench any longer and decided to move.

 

A month later, even though they had cut their price in half, they could not find a buyer for their stinky house. Word got out and eventually even the local Realtors refused to return their calls. Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place ...

 

The ex-wife called the man and asked how things were going . He told her the saga of the rotting house. She listened politely and said that she missed her old home terribly and would be willing to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for getting the house back.

 

Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell was, he agreed on a price that was about 1/10th of what the house had been worth, but only if she were to sign the papers that very day .. She agreed and within the hour his lawyers delivered the paperwork.

 

A week later the man and his girlfriend stood smiling as they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home......... And to spite the ex-wife, they even took the curtain rods!!!!!!

 

I LOVE A HAPPY ENDING, DON'T YOU?

 

 

 

 

 

You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have.
Honored Contributor
Posts: 12,295
Registered: ‎03-27-2010

@pattypeepRighteous Act....I' do exactly the same thing!

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Posts: 24,879
Registered: ‎03-12-2010

this is to funny.  thanks for a good chuckle today

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Posts: 16,938
Registered: ‎12-29-2010

That is seriously my dream car.  I want a Porsche something fierce--I love the old 911's!

"friends don't let friends drink white zinfandel"