Community Chat

[Biftu]

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@vermint wrote:

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@Biftu wrote:

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@shoesnbags wrote:

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@Biftu wrote:

I always cringe when I hear a woman up in years referred to as 80 years young.  I find it very demeaning.  She is just 80 years old, same as the 8 year old would be referred.  Maybe it's just me, but I find it rude.

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@Biftu  Was I correct in assuming that you were referring to other people referring to an 80 year old? If so, I agree that it comes across as patronizing. 

But most of the posters seemed to take it as how a person might refer to herself, and if that's the case then of course we can refer to ourselves however we want.  But I didn't think this is what you meant in your OP.

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@shoesnbags  You got it.  I was referring to other people using the term.  

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@Biftu @shoesnbags That's what I thought, too! If one referes to oneself as whatever age young, that's fine...their choice. I do not like hearing others (who are mostly much younger) saying whatever age young. It sounds patronizing to me.

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@vermint  Exactly.

[Stray]

I don’t care if my age is referenced or if I’m called old but in certain stores, clerks refer to me as “mommy” or “mama” & DH as “poppy”. It was the same in Thailand in our hotel. The people always say it kindly & they are sweet & I think it’s thought of as respectful in other cultures so I can’t correct them but I hate it. I’m not your mama.

[Sooner]

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@Ainhisg wrote:

I think it's silly, too.  I also don't like to be called Miss (my first name).  I find that to be silly, too.  But someone told me that that is common in the southern states.  I live in Missouri, so maybe the people who call me Miss (first name) are from the south.  I always just say, "(First name's) fine.

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@Ainhisg I really hate that and I agree, it is demeaning.  Miss is for little girls and young ladies.  Up to say 22-ish?  

[NYCLatinaMe]

@lilywhite   I am 62 yo, and I, like you, I earned every one of those years.  Never understood why people have to pretend they are a different age.

[Carmie]

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@Sooner wrote:

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@Ainhisg wrote:

I think it's silly, too.  I also don't like to be called Miss (my first name).  I find that to be silly, too.  But someone told me that that is common in the southern states.  I live in Missouri, so maybe the people who call me Miss (first name) are from the south.  I always just say, "(First name's) fine.

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@Ainhisg I really hate that and I agree, it is demeaning.  Miss is for little girls and young ladies.  Up to say 22-ish?  

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Miss is the correct title for unmarried women.  Mrs. Is for married women and Ms. Is used for either/or.

Children with manners were always taught they must not call adults by their first names.  They should use Miss Jones or Mrs. Jones.

Some women who were close to the child felt this was too formal and the use of their first name was okay.  The child was then allowed to call the adult woman Miss Mary.

Using Miss before someone first name is a sign of manners and respect.  

[Midmod]

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@Carmie wrote:

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@Sooner wrote:

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@Ainhisg wrote:

I think it's silly, too.  I also don't like to be called Miss (my first name).  I find that to be silly, too.  But someone told me that that is common in the southern states.  I live in Missouri, so maybe the people who call me Miss (first name) are from the south.  I always just say, "(First name's) fine.

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@Ainhisg I really hate that and I agree, it is demeaning.  Miss is for little girls and young ladies.  Up to say 22-ish?  

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Miss is the correct title for unmarried women.  Mrs. Is for married women and Ms. Is used for either/or.

Children with manners were always taught they must not call adults by their first names.  They should use Miss Jones or Mrs. Jones.

Some women who were close to the child felt this was too formal and the use of their first name was okay.  The child was then allowed to call the adult woman Miss Mary.

Using Miss before someone first name is a sign of manners and respect.  

thats exactly right @Carmie. Here in the South we were taught to never call an adult by their first name, that it was rude. Children were never to speak in a conversation that adults were having ( it's disrespectful unless you were spoken directly to and brought into the adult conversation) . Saying Miss and Sir and Ma'am is a sign of respect for the wisdom acquired by your years lived. To just say your name without saying Miss before it implies that we're peers. We are not. Just as I've lived longer and have acquired more wisdom than my 22 y/o coworker. It also have an affectionate connotation. 

Just this week I was remarking on this at work. I've worked for so many years for the same company that I can remember saying Miss so & so to women older than myself. For me, it was meant as a sign of respect. Now those same age kids put Miss before my name when they say it.  I do not correct them. In the South that means parents did a good job teaching their children to be respectful of their elders. 

Please to all visiting the South, when you hear Miss or Sir so & so, do not be upset. It's a sign of the superiority of the kids upbringing to say it. 👍 

As far as saying years young, if I was to say that to anyone, it would be a compliment of the highest order. Because it would imply that someone has youth, vitality and the best that life has taught to anyone younger with the wisdom to listen. 

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[Cakers3]

@Midmod  Excellent post.👏💯

When one encounters being addressed in an unfamiliar way it isn't silly or rude or disrespectful.

Our cultures vary and "correcting" someone is what is rude.

Nobody is so important that she feels the need to change a cultural expression and/or be insulted. Are we not supposed to be respectful of others ways of living?🤔

My DDIL's father calls me "Mama" as he does to his wife and often to his daughters. I've also been called Mama by other grown women.  It is a cultural expression among many  Hispanics here and in  other cultures.

Everyone knows one isn't "your Mama". That has nothing to do with it.

I have no problem with Miss (first name), Ma'am, Mama etc. 

Accept and respect the cultural norms. 

[vermint]

@Midmod As a child I was taught to say Miss or Mr. First Name if that was OK with the adult...but once I was working in an office environment, I found that everyone (and most were MUCH older than I) preferred to be addressed by first name only. There were some executives that we still called Mr. Last Name (never first name).

This was in South Carolina.

[Solar Is My Name]

"OLDING" is the new thing I say instead of "aging".

I like "olding" as it puts all things into perspective, that time is precious and we must be kind and not be afraid to be ourselves. We must express and act on our values as we are olding! 

Blessings!

-Solar