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Shawn Killinger - A Personal Story

by on ‎08-12-2014 09:14 AM

My dear friends,


I have always shared ‘my everything’ with you, always been humorously over-honest, unapologetically the over-sharer. I’ve always wanted to keep things real between us, because otherwise what’s the point?


I’ve been slow to do that with something recently, something very painful and private, something I wanted to keep to myself to keep it protected, and untouched by public consumption. But my need for privacy is causing worry, speculation, uncertainty, and in a few isolated cases, fueling some rumors. My heart doesn’t have the energy for that stuff, so after talking to Joe, we wanted to reach out and explain why you have not seen me.


A few weeks ago, Joe and I lost a baby, a beautiful baby girl. We were almost 5 months pregnant. That is why I had been sitting down during shows, and took a break from Saturdays. I was very close to announcing my pregnancy.


I know you probably wonder why in these situations “we” wait so long, “It’s so wonderful and obvious, why doesn’t she just tell us she's pregnant already?!”. This is why............because having to undo the greatest joy with news of a loss, on a very public stage, is even more painful.


Joe and I have been surrounded in prayer by so many amazing friends who are lifting us up, and for that, we are grateful. If you are one of them, we can’t begin to thank you enough!!!


I know God has a plan, even though I don’t understand it. The truest test of faith is believing and trusting in bad times, when He takes away, or allows us to walk through a valley of pain. I can’t just rely on Him for happy stuff, blessings, provisions, and then turn on Him when my life falls apart.


Joe and I know you grieve for us. This is not the first time this kind of tragedy has struck our QVC family. Few people can fathom this grief unless they have walked in these shoes, the shoes of hoping, wanting, dreaming, preparing, thanking, praying…and then mourning.


I don’t want to linger in this place of sadness, because the longer I do, the longer we are kept from what awaits us, which is hopefully the sun coming up after a dark night. I need your help with that. I know you will want to share your love and thoughts with me, maybe during shows, or call ins.


I would kindly ask for your mercy, that you don’t. Being on air with you, delighting in things that lift the soul and spirit, laughing uncontrollably with Isaac, and cracking jokes with my beauty babes on Tuesday nights, is what I need. Being reminded of this loss during a call in would be very painful, and none of you are tuning in for pain or sadness. 


I look forward to seeing you soon, I just needed some time to get my head and heart together. I’ll be back on Tuesday 9/2 and my return couldn’t come at a better time. My favorite season of all is Fall so I cannot wait for that smell of nip in the air.


There’s something in Autumn that speaks to my soul. It feels like a good time to heal. Until then, I am with family and Joe, on FB, and missing you all terribly, so excited to get back, and hoping that your end of summer is full of wonderful memories.


Shawn


x


 

Comments
by joAnna
on ‎07-08-2015 12:15 AM

Hi Shawn,

i love your haircut, is there a specific name for the cut?   You are truly beautiful and a fabulous host for QVC!

Look forward to hearing from you....and watching your next appearance.

Blessings,

joAnna

by Texan
on ‎07-30-2015 05:49 PM

My husband and I loved watching you every morning, when you were doing the weather report in CA. Then you left. But we moved to San Antonio and we were happy too see you again on tv with QVC! Look both look forward too seeing returning in the fall! God bless

by Texan
on ‎07-30-2015 05:52 PM

My husband and I loved watching you every morning, when you were doing the weather report in CA. Then you left. But we moved to San Antonio and we were happy too see you again on tv with QVC! We both look forward too seeing returning in the fall! God bless

by shopluv
on ‎08-15-2015 11:03 PM

Dearest Shawn, I will only say that my prayers are with you and Joe nightly. I watch you regularly just BC I feel like such a kindred spirit.God's plan is so hard to understand and often accept.I, as a Christian, then have to rely totally on me faith and beg that he carry when grief takes the whole of my strength.I am going through something  similar and feel at times all I can do is barely breathe. Know he is with you and will never forsaken you.Please listen to Mercy Me's song ,"TheHurt and the Healer". It is a spiritual experience! May God bless you and send Angels to stand at your guard.....a friend

by LinNova
on ‎09-30-2015 01:25 PM

You are such a wonderful and strong person and my heart goes out to you.  My Mom would always say that God has a plan for us when we are born and the future is only his to see.  I hope that you will someday have another angel and be blessed to hold your bundle of joy in your arms and see your child grow up.  All good wishes and prayers.

by upsrules
on ‎10-16-2015 02:04 PM

My husband and I will be "as one" 44 years this month. When we were in our 20's, we decided we wanted to share our love and lives with a child. We were very excited to become parents, but the good Lord decided it was not the right time. Sadly, we miscarried. We were very sad, but knew it must not have been. Twelve months later, our son Thomas was born, and he has, and always be very special to us! He and his wife have blessed us with our first grandchildren!! When I read your blog, I sat in my chair and cried for you and your Joe. I know the pain you are experiencing, but, I just want you to know, this was just a test in life. A really hard test, especially when you love the one you are with. There  will be a day soon when you will look at your child, and remember how much they were wanted, and special they are. You are very spiritual, and that will carry you both through these very sad days. I love you, and miss you, and wish you and Joe the best that life can give you both!  Dorothy

 

 

by Creaturecation
on ‎12-07-2015 10:30 PM
Oh Shawn I'm so very sorry for your loss. Please know that it has never been God's plan to take your baby from you. I have seen some posting that they don't understand his plan sometimes. You can take comfort though from his word he Bible and to also find out his purpose for us. If you'd like to understand why she died,( God didn't take her) please email me @ creaturecation@gmail.com . I know I can comfort you and give you a better hope from God. Love, Lindsay
by JumperRider
on ‎04-30-2016 08:17 AM

Dear Shawn,

 

Not knowing of your loss and recently hearing you speak of something you and Joe were hoping for had me concerned that you were ill. Not wanting to assume, I just searched yahoo this a.m. and found the link to this blog.

 

Until I read your blog,  I had no idea that you and Joe had been through such a painful and traumatic loss and, although that may have been a bit ago my thoughs and prayers go out to you both.  As I read your post I cried because I remember the emotional devastation that my husband and I went through.  As you already know day by day things do get better and God does have a plan for each of us and it is not up to us to try and decipher it (I tried - does not work ) Smiley Wink

 

I don't question it anymore.  Although for us the plan turned out children of the furry variety - a horse (mine) and our dogs and, that is okay with us because we love and have each other and we are okay with that.  It takes time to heal and everyone is different in the way they heal and how long they take. I won't sit here and tell you it was a cake walk for me because having two miscarriages six months apart was unfathamable.  You seem to me to be similar in personality to me; strong, independant, and but loving and compassionate, just don't keep people out like I did (too much stiff upper lip upbringing here) and I think you will be just fine, whatever God has in his plan for you and Joe.

 

 My apologies if this in any way offends you or upsets you as that is not my intention.  If I have, QVC has my express written permission to give you my personal email address and my first and last name for the purpose of contacting me and you can write me directly via email or privately via facebook.  I value your privacy as I expect the same from others.  So if you do choose to write to me please do so with the knowledge that whatever is discussed will not be discclosed to anyone by me and I expect the same courtesy.

 

I am glad to see you back and joking with Isaac!  Watching you live on FB hanging with Laura yesteday talking about her days at Heff's and the grotto was great stuff. She is such a sweetie and too funny! (okay people - don't get any ideas lol - watch the video on Shawns Facebook page from 4/29/2016) some great tips from Laura Geller and OMG that TSV from yesterday rocked!  

 

Shawn, your soulfulness and compassion has been encouraging as i am dealing with some other things in my life right now. So keep on keeping on sister.  I hope whatever it is that you and Joe are wishing for on that star comes true for you both.

 

All my best,

 

Lynn  Heart

by GiGi2010
on ‎05-14-2016 09:42 PM
Shawn
Im very sorry for your loss back in 2014. I never saw this blog before. I'm also sorry I posted on Facebook that you were glowing and wearing big clothes and was there a baby? Its none of my business..sorry..I really thought you looked beautiful . I hope all your dreams come true..
by SLI
on ‎06-09-2016 02:50 PM
I'm very sorry for your loss back in 2000 I had a miscarriage. My husband and I got married in our twenties we went through a ton of testing and Ivf treatments. We finally came to the conclusion that this is gods plan for us. It took me a long time of grieving and feeling unlucky,sad. You name it but I just came to terms with the higher power having different plans for us both. We love to travel and we have to beautiful fur babies. You are such an inspiration to me. I just ordered your ring can't wait. Feel better.
by arglol
on ‎06-17-2016 11:56 AM

Dear Shawn, I have and was hoping that you didn't quit. missed seeing your shows and I look forward to your return.  I will say a prayer for you

by Prajnaseeker
on ‎06-22-2016 03:12 AM

Shawn and Joe,

it's so disheartening to lose a first child. Please know that God has his arms wrapped around you in comfort.  I know he has another little girl just waiting to be your daughter.  You will make the best parents!!

 

Your in our prayers.

by maxedout
on ‎08-18-2016 10:18 PM

I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I too understand the pain you are experiencing.  I know I will be reunited with my son again and that is the hope that helps that hurt.  I thank God that I have an eternity to spend with my child that was taken here on earth   My prayers are with you and your husband.

by Weaz
on ‎09-02-2016 07:33 AM

Good morning Shawn I usually don't do this but I have a big favor to ask.  I have a friend who has gone through many hardships this year already, and we still have some months to go.  My friend had recently bought you cross bracelet which she wears everyday she said it gives her strength when feeling down to look at it and read "Hear my soul speak".  Is there any way you could check stock for the ring in a size 7, she tried to late and only a 4 and 6 remain.  Or many if you will be bringing it back in stock.  I have the ring and if need I will give her mine if you don't see that happening.  When I wear my ring it brings me comfort and makes me feel safe in knowing my parents are watching over me with the Man himself.  Thank you for such a comforting ring.  Love and peace,  Louise

by Krissyjane44
on ‎04-11-2017 12:18 PM
Lifting you and Joe up in prayers and that God touches in such a way that you know it is only HIM and Him alone. I pray for healing from thebinside out and ask he protects you from the enemies lies. You are so beautiful and I pray that there is healing in all of this. Blessings. Krissy jane 🤙🏼😘💕 Menifee, CA
by tjbram
on ‎05-03-2017 03:08 PM

Hi Shawn...Love watching you with all your energy.  I know you quit using fake nails...How did you get yours so long?  They are beautiful.  Thank you.  Judy

by ladybug118
on ‎06-18-2017 11:42 PM

My heart aches for you both.  I am speaking with St. Theresa tonight and will be asking for peace in your hearts.  Somewhere down the road you will be able to breathe again without having to think about it.   You will get through this. Feel what you need to feel and don't let anyone try to tell you what and how to feel and how long to feel it.  Love and hugs!!!!

by Scheree
on ‎06-21-2017 03:42 AM
  1. I'm so sorry for your loss Shawn. Wrap your arms around you really tight and squeeze that's me huging you.You and your family are in my prayers. Don't rush the healing process,we,will be waiting and watching for you to come back in fresh spirit. Big hugs Chaun.
by flashrmw
on ‎07-03-2017 10:13 PM
Shawn you wrote a heartfelt letter. I have not seen you and was concerned. So I decided to research. Just know God has a plan. The way I got through my loss of 6 months pregnant was I told myself the baby was maybe not formed well. The lord knows what we can & can not handle trust that. Even though we wouldn't care if the baby wasn't healthly our Father knows. I'm praying for blessings, blessings your way. There's no one stronger than you right now. Key on that! I'm now 65 trust me. Love to you both
Rosemary
by B G S
on ‎07-11-2017 12:45 AM

Shawn, I had been concerned since you haven't been o the air.  I am so sorry about your news concerning Your an Joe's baby.

 

I am happy about the adoption.  I don't know how God runs the universe, I thank God that HE knows, exactually what he is doing.

 

Pease take the time you and Joe need to grieve.  Grieving isn't an easy process, as you well know.  You guys are in my thoughts and prayers.

 

BGS

 

 

by madsue
on ‎07-17-2017 10:22 PM

Shawn and Joe,

 

I am sorry about your loss, just remember "God" is a healer, and will help you through your personal loss.

Take your time and let the grieving process help you to relax your mind and mend your heart. I miss your

bubbly personality, and I know Isaac misses you also, you all make an excellent team.

 

I will be praying for you and Joe at this time, know you will be okay, time is necessary to fully recover,

I am encouraging you, cry if you must, it is healthy and necessary.

 

Take care and I look forward to seeing you soon, happy to know you will be back. Sending an angel your way!

 "God" is still with you!

 

 

MD

 

 

 

 

by WNCdee
on ‎08-02-2017 10:52 PM

 

 

What a tragedy!  You will find the peace and strenght to carry on.  Bless you.  There is golden sunshine around you to help.

by WNCdee
on ‎08-02-2017 10:53 PM

 

 

What a tragedy!  You will find the peace and the strenght to carry on.  Bless you.  There is golden sunshine around you to help.

by JuliaM
on ‎08-02-2017 11:56 PM
I'm so sorry [tears] Just know you're missed and you already know Gods grace knows no bounds <3
by sharonspeth
on ‎08-12-2017 08:10 PM
My mom and I are sending our love to you and Joe. You are such a wonderful
Person! I know there's no words to make you feel better but just know that we love you 😘💕
by jgail
on ‎08-18-2017 11:12 PM

Shawn, I had no idea what had happened.  I'm crying as I write this.  I finally just decided to search until I found something that told me where you were.  I am so very sorry for your loss.  It brings back the sadness that my family experienced a couple of years ago when my son and daugher-in-law went through the same thing, except she was was only about 6 weeks into her pregnancy.  It just seems so surreal when it happens.  I pray for you and Joe that God will bless you with the happiness that you deserve.  Unfortunately for us, we still don't have a baby. Tthey  do have some options, but they are so afraid to get their hopes up again.  I know that everything happens for a reason, and I guess it's all part of something bigger than any of us understand.  You are very lucky to have your QVC family and your personal family, and I know you are a strong person, so I pray that you and Joe still have options.  Looking forward to your smiling face being back on QVC.

by mdc11
on ‎08-19-2017 09:22 AM
I'm so sorry for your loss sweetie, I can only wish you comfort and peace. See you soon, and tell your producers to shut down any call you don't want to take *small smile*
by mdc11
on ‎08-19-2017 09:24 AM
❤️
by jannah
on ‎08-30-2017 11:34 PM

Hi Shawn, God Bless you and Joe!

We will be able to  Raise our babies in Heaven as they are Waiting for us.  Everyone thinks God take babies

B4 or after birth.  The Bible says the devil takes them. God doesn't give you a Blessing and then take them

away. The enemy comes to kill steal and destroy. The Lord will show us where we missed it in our lives

then we can repent and start out all over.  He wants to give us Life and Life in Abundance.  HE is with us

all the way thru and we need to ask HIM what we do and how to handle it  Your family is in my Prayers..

Blessings!!!

by samily
on ‎08-31-2017 11:50 PM

So glad that you will be back in September. I have missed your smile and great attitude, but know what a trying time you and Joe have gone through. My prayers went out to you both and hope the healing is getting better after such a loss.

by 14403211
on ‎12-22-2017 07:46 PM

You are such a beautiful lady and so good as a host, but your too dark eyeliner, dark hair and bright red lipstick make you look so much older than you are.  A softer approach with a lighter color would do wonders.

by Conor
on ‎02-16-2018 10:27 PM
Enough about yourself! Your filthy rich and your the only host that talks about all you but and travel to. I don't feel sorry for you. I pray for a new host!! One that is not conceited and tries to literally walks like " I'm the best". Eat humble pie!!!!! Retire!! Better yet quit
by Shopgal25
on ‎08-19-2018 11:03 AM
To Conor from Feb 16, you will probably never see this but, how could you be so cruel? You are sick in your soul and you must be a very unhappy and hurt person. I will pray for you.
by VaB
on ‎09-26-2018 01:21 AM
Hi Shawn
First time I’ve been on a blog but really enjoyed the show tonight with lovely Christmas holiday lights etc. makes us feel happy I have lights up all year.
I loved your black dress with embroidered detail. Is this on QVC or one of your own?
Vslerie