well i have 8 days to go.
hello!!!
i have had one slip in a moment of insanity 4 weeks ago and bought a clean skin perfume. which is nice by the way, but otherwise i have bought nothing but dd's conditioner in i dont know how many weeks. what --since august (beginning or mid).
i had a narrow escape the other day when i had to go online and buy my moms smashbox lipsticks. almost caved with the josie maran oto. but yanked it out of my cart at the last second. still kicking myself, lol!!! but not really.
i have had several auto-deliveries come in, that i totally forgot about (3-4). sent one back. may send another back. i didnt really count this, as i signed up for them ages ago.
heres what i have figured out so far.
i dont use much lotion. i never need more than 5 lotions in my inventory. but i have like 20 and some of those are ubers.
i cannot figure out how to keep them all in rotation and use the matching spritz's and have them not go bad, so i dont need matching lotions right now.
i could do without all of them except pg and bg if they would just come out with some foodie spritzes, but that is a different rant thread.
i havent bought the divine yet, and it is the first time since phil came out with perfume, that i havent had the new one. since the beginning with ag. and i dont care. not convinced i even like it from the sample.
i will stock up on a few fave 3-1s as i feel like coty is going to drive it into the ground.
and on to the deeper revelations:
i cannot really be satisfied. it is useless to try. if i see something, i want it. that hasnt changed. what has changed is my willingness to have waaaaaaay too much. so i must set external liimits on myself so i dont have a sick ammount of excess. no more lotions for me unless they make a really stellar foodie one. sugary cinnamon icing lotion about scared me off of those for life.
i can only spend so much time looking. when i am looking i feel the compulsion to buy. if i dont look, then i may not think about buying anything for weeks on end.
if i look at christmas makeukp pallates, i will want them and may probably cave. even though i set my 'end of not buying date' before Christmas, i really dont want to buy a bunch just because i 'can'.
i am a fool for pretty kits. they dismantle my brain and cause me to become compulsive. i dont need to change this, i just need to manage it.
i like using up stuff when more is not comming in and taking its place!!! i am finding out that i dont use all the products i used to , so i dont need all the products i used to.
bottom line, i cant enjoy what i have when i have too much.
it doesnt hurt to miss out on things. something else will come along. getting attached to certain outcomes sets me up for disappointment, whereas enjoying the present makes me satisfied.
good luck to anyone still on this quest for themselves. to figure out what balance is for them.
also i would add, that balance lets you figure out what other priorities are in your life. it unlocks little doors in your brain of what is possible. i dont want to worship at the shrine of excess anymore. even though 3 shower gels isnt going to break the bank, and i may well buy 3 more soon of my favorites. three more too many does something to my psyche that isnt beneficial. i cant word it any better.
something about seing my friends sons harley at the funeral, nicely lettered with his birth and death date, and a nice memorial sentence, made me look at all possessions as the transitory items they were. we want these things, then we have them then either they are gone or we are gone. i want to do more to help my family and others with my money. and i can still have my bath stuff, i just dont need the extra eatras. you know what i mean.
i should have come to this conclusion long long ago. oh well, better late than never.
maybe by the time i run out of most of my current stash, someone else will have bought philosophy from coty, lol!!!
have a great week!!!
belleandme
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