Beauty

[LuluOnBeauty]

Have you told her? Ask her if you could have a moment with her and let her know your thoughts. 

Perhaps you have.  

I wish women were more direct and assertive to handle negative situations.

[Desertdi]

Regarding "vanity"............I have found men to be WORSE................

[Karnerblue]

Being around someone who obsesses over anything would be hard to deal with, no matter what the obsession.

[ECBG]

It really sounds like this woman has gotten negative feed back somewhere in life that has left a huge need.  We get messages from everywhere.  Some messages are subtle and some aren't, but they all affect us and that effect can be very deep.

She might have felt badly because she percieved a sister or playmate to be more attractive or maybe her husband has given attention to someone that made her insecure; the loss of a boyfriend to someone  She may have seen an older relative with "middle age spread" that affected her.  The behavior could also be from the s_x oriented images we are blasted by all day from every source of media possible.

Really, it's a burden she carries.

I taught teenagers, age 17-19.  Talk about obsessive.....I hope they grew past this.

[CatsyCline]

 it takes a lot of energy to always look perfect and beautiful. i had a work friend who resembled Nicole Simpson. she bleached her hair to look more like her and starved herself to be thin. she never ate dinner, only took bubble baths and drank wine.  she was naturally pretty but flawed inside. always comparing herself to other women. needing to keep up her looks because everyone told she looked just like Nicole.

her black eyeliner and mascara never came off. she never removed it (i spent lots of time at her house and vacations)  and she was addicted to buying bikinis and tanning.  she had to look great by the pool.

with her french accent men found her devastating.  always a new boyfreind. she just used them and then dumped them.  yet she was so insecure, and  her looks and French allure  were her primary focus.  she liked to fixate on men who were married or a couple out on the town.  she felt she was so sexy when a married man came over to talk to her - it was a sign that she still had it at age 40.  it was embarrassing. the wife or girlfreind would be furious and come over to see what was up.  it was all a game to her, although a few married men ended up dating her.   i could not hang out with her anymore.  she had no moral compass.

[hopi]

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@lyn61 wrote:

I work with someone who is over-the top VAIN. So i am responding to the lady who posted WHY DO WOMEN DO THIS....

This lady talks about her hair, her face, her body etc...IT NEVER ENDS,  When she gets her hair colored, its all about that ALL DAY LONG. When she sees that her hair is getting damaged due to straightening it everyday, its all about that ALL DAY LONG. When she sees more wrinkles, its all about that ALL DAY LONG. Don't tell her she looks tired because she will OBSESS about that ALL DAY LONG.  She looks in the mirror at every chance .....I could go on and on about her..

MY POINT IS THIS...Life has to be torture for those that constantly think their life means nothing if they don't have the perfect body, clothes, makeup, hair etc..

No one really cares if i go to the store in sweats and no makeup.no one will remember me as "THAT GIRL" how dare she dress or look like that!

My CONCERNS IN LIFE are ANIMAL ABUSE, and the horrors man inflicts on man..

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Petty much

[redhead handbag queen]

I had a good friend that was very vain.  She would make comparisons between her and I, not in the nicest of ways almost as a back handed compliment because she wasn't getting the attention she wanted.  I always realized that this was her issue with herself/self esteem.  I did try and talk to her about this when she was going in for plastic surgery but I don’t think anything anyone says would make a difference because you cannot give self esteem to anyone only yourself.

[IMissSuperPoke]

Did you post this in the BEAUTY forum because you think other vain people hang out here? Just seems there are a lot of threads bashing women who strive to look their best, won't leave the house without makeup, how they clean their hair with conditioner in this beauty forum on lately. No, it's not torture to look our best.

If you don't like talking to her, simply ignore her.

[AngelPuppy1]

@lyn61

I didn't take your post in a negative way at all.  I really think I know what you were tryng to convey.  It's not that you don't like the woman, it's just that some people are overly fixated with their personal appearance and they also need constant reassurance that they look great, they look fine, that this or that is not making them looking bad.  A person such as you have described is vey insecure.  But it is very taxing and no one really wants to be subjected to this all day long.  I, too, have had the pleasure (not really) of working with someone in the past who sounded just like this.  And I can tell you that it really does wear on you.  Every time you would try to talk about yourself even, she would immediately go off on another tirade.  So, yes, I understand.  I think we all care about our appearance and do want to look nice.  And if we have a concern -- such as a hair issue - yes, it bothers us -- and we might make a comment.  But it is not healthy to go on and on about it and to be fixated on it.   

[Nataliesgramma]

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@AngelPuppy1 wrote:

@lyn61

I didn't take your post in a negative way at all.  I really think I know what you were tryng to convey.  It's not that you don't like the woman, it's just that some people are overly fixated with their personal appearance and they also need constant reassurance that they look great, they look fine, that this or that is not making them looking bad.  A person such as you have described is vey insecure.  But it is very taxing and no one really wants to be subjected to this all day long.  I, too, have had the pleasure (not really) of working with someone in the past who sounded just like this.  And I can tell you that it really does wear on you.  Every time you would try to talk about yourself even, she would immediately go off on another tirade.  So, yes, I understand.  I think we all care about our appearance and do want to look nice.  And if we have a concern -- such as a hair issue - yes, it bothers us -- and we might make a comment.  But it is not healthy to go on and on about it and to be fixated on it.   

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This is how I took her comments also. If you ever worked with someone like this, she hit the nail on head.