Reply
Super Contributor
Posts: 1,874
Registered: ‎12-26-2013

Re: AWKWARD......................

On 4/24/2014 NYC Susan said:
On 4/24/2014 Irishrose136 said:
On 4/24/2014 NYC Susan said:
On 4/23/2014 Irishrose136 said:

It's awkward for me, NYC Susan, because I'm torn between leaving and staying. Objectively, it's very clear I should make the move to the new stylist and nail tech.

Subjectively................I'm lousy at doing something if I'm afraid it will hurt someone's feelings.

There are times I can be very assertive. Right now I feel like a wimp. {#emotions_dlg.unsure}

I understand why it's awkward for you. My point is that I think you're making it more complicated than it needs to be. She's not a friend you socialize with - She's someone who does your hair and you've become friendly with her. Clients coming and going are a part of doing business. If her feelings are hurt, then she's not very professional, and most likely you're not going to hurt her feelings as much as you think you are.

And, as I said, if she's truly a friend, she should want you to be happy. I don't see why you feel you need to be assertive or why you feel like a wimp. You have complete free will to go elsewhere, not to mention protect yourself from unsanitary conditions. You don't have to make a big speech or excuses - You can just nicely say that you feel it's time for a change (if you feel you want to say anything at all.) It's really as simple as that.

I am the biggest over-thinker in the world, but it seems to me that you're really over-thinking this. JMO - I'm honestly trying to be helpful! Kiss

I know that your intent is to be helpful and I do appreciate it. And yes, I do overthink things. {#emotions_dlg.rolleyes}

As I said, I overthink things too. I can spot it a mile away in others, but I don't realize when I'm doing it. I think we overthinkers drive ourselves unnecessarily crazy at times!! :-)

{#emotions_dlg.lol}

Honored Contributor
Posts: 47,236
Registered: ‎08-23-2010

Re: AWKWARD......................

On 4/24/2014 NYC Susan said:
On 4/24/2014 Irishrose136 said:
On 4/24/2014 NYC Susan said:
On 4/23/2014 Irishrose136 said:

It's awkward for me, NYC Susan, because I'm torn between leaving and staying. Objectively, it's very clear I should make the move to the new stylist and nail tech.

Subjectively................I'm lousy at doing something if I'm afraid it will hurt someone's feelings.

There are times I can be very assertive. Right now I feel like a wimp. {#emotions_dlg.unsure}

I understand why it's awkward for you. My point is that I think you're making it more complicated than it needs to be. She's not a friend you socialize with - She's someone who does your hair and you've become friendly with her. Clients coming and going are a part of doing business. If her feelings are hurt, then she's not very professional, and most likely you're not going to hurt her feelings as much as you think you are.

And, as I said, if she's truly a friend, she should want you to be happy. I don't see why you feel you need to be assertive or why you feel like a wimp. You have complete free will to go elsewhere, not to mention protect yourself from unsanitary conditions. You don't have to make a big speech or excuses - You can just nicely say that you feel it's time for a change (if you feel you want to say anything at all.) It's really as simple as that.

I am the biggest over-thinker in the world, but it seems to me that you're really over-thinking this. JMO - I'm honestly trying to be helpful! Kiss

I know that your intent is to be helpful and I do appreciate it. And yes, I do overthink things. {#emotions_dlg.rolleyes}

As I said, I overthink things too. I can spot it a mile away in others, but I don't realize when I'm doing it. I think we overthinkers drive ourselves unnecessarily crazy at times!! :-)

Here's to all the Overthinkers among us ..... {#emotions_dlg.thumbup}

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,889
Registered: ‎03-13-2010

Re: AWKWARD......................

On 4/24/2014 Tinkrbl44 said:
On 4/24/2014 NYC Susan said:
On 4/24/2014 Irishrose136 said:
On 4/24/2014 NYC Susan said:
On 4/23/2014 Irishrose136 said:

It's awkward for me, NYC Susan, because I'm torn between leaving and staying. Objectively, it's very clear I should make the move to the new stylist and nail tech.

Subjectively................I'm lousy at doing something if I'm afraid it will hurt someone's feelings.

There are times I can be very assertive. Right now I feel like a wimp. {#emotions_dlg.unsure}

I understand why it's awkward for you. My point is that I think you're making it more complicated than it needs to be. She's not a friend you socialize with - She's someone who does your hair and you've become friendly with her. Clients coming and going are a part of doing business. If her feelings are hurt, then she's not very professional, and most likely you're not going to hurt her feelings as much as you think you are.

And, as I said, if she's truly a friend, she should want you to be happy. I don't see why you feel you need to be assertive or why you feel like a wimp. You have complete free will to go elsewhere, not to mention protect yourself from unsanitary conditions. You don't have to make a big speech or excuses - You can just nicely say that you feel it's time for a change (if you feel you want to say anything at all.) It's really as simple as that.

I am the biggest over-thinker in the world, but it seems to me that you're really over-thinking this. JMO - I'm honestly trying to be helpful! Kiss

I know that your intent is to be helpful and I do appreciate it. And yes, I do overthink things. {#emotions_dlg.rolleyes}

As I said, I overthink things too. I can spot it a mile away in others, but I don't realize when I'm doing it. I think we overthinkers drive ourselves unnecessarily crazy at times!! :-)

Here's to all the Overthinkers among us ..... {#emotions_dlg.thumbup}

It's so nice to know I'm not alone!! {#emotions_dlg.thumbup1}

Super Contributor
Posts: 1,283
Registered: ‎07-20-2010

Re: AWKWARD......................

I wouldn't care if she's $5 cheaper if her tools aren't clean. Yikes! {#emotions_dlg.scared} I don't think there's any way to stay friends and go to the other salon. Maybe if she really, really likes you she will keep being your friend, but that's a reach.

Super Contributor
Posts: 435
Registered: ‎03-12-2010

Re: AWKWARD......................

Its a great topic, because this happens a lot. My Mom went to her ex-sister in law for years and never really liked the cut or her hair because she had been going for years and liked to see her. I think she should have just went out to lunch with her instead.

For me, if I find a stylist I like I go back until they move too far to travel to. Otherwise I just pop into different salons for fun. I don't have anyone now, but being clean if so important and if you had a nail fungus ever that you got in a salon (I did) and see how hard it is to cure then you would pay many more dollars to go to a clean spot.

If she is a personal friend, and by that I mean you see her outside of the salon. In my opinion you are just a regular customer if the only place you see her is in the salon. Customers come and go so I don't think you need to explain it, but I wouldn't go back. If she is a friend you see all the time then you might just say as someone else said, that you were ready for a change. But I would mention the cleanliness of the salon, not calling her dirty but just saying that you are always on guard for infection and it disturbs you when she picks items up off the floor and uses them on your hair, and tools that aren't sanitized. I think she needs to know this in any case.

Super Contributor
Posts: 1,874
Registered: ‎12-26-2013

Re: AWKWARD......................

On 4/25/2014 Treeinwind said:

Its a great topic, because this happens a lot. My Mom went to her ex-sister in law for years and never really liked the cut or her hair because she had been going for years and liked to see her. I think she should have just went out to lunch with her instead.

For me, if I find a stylist I like I go back until they move too far to travel to. Otherwise I just pop into different salons for fun. I don't have anyone now, but being clean if so important and if you had a nail fungus ever that you got in a salon (I did) and see how hard it is to cure then you would pay many more dollars to go to a clean spot.

If she is a personal friend, and by that I mean you see her outside of the salon. In my opinion you are just a regular customer if the only place you see her is in the salon. Customers come and go so I don't think you need to explain it, but I wouldn't go back. If she is a friend you see all the time then you might just say as someone else said, that you were ready for a change. But I would mention the cleanliness of the salon, not calling her dirty but just saying that you are always on guard for infection and it disturbs you when she picks items up off the floor and uses them on your hair, and tools that aren't sanitized. I think she needs to know this in any case.

You pop into different salons for fun! I *bow* to your courage.....lol Wink

About needing to know about sanitizing..............how could any hairdresser NOT know. As someone else said, she has lost "her passion" to spend time doing things the proper way. Her clients tend to mostly be relatives or friends. None of us would ever turn her in to the authorities. She is spending less and less time in the salon as her business declines and she spends more time working her second job.

Super Contributor
Posts: 435
Registered: ‎03-12-2010

Re: AWKWARD......................

On 4/25/2014 Irishrose136 said:
On 4/25/2014 Treeinwind said:

Its a great topic, because this happens a lot. My Mom went to her ex-sister in law for years and never really liked the cut or her hair because she had been going for years and liked to see her. I think she should have just went out to lunch with her instead.

For me, if I find a stylist I like I go back until they move too far to travel to. Otherwise I just pop into different salons for fun. I don't have anyone now, but being clean if so important and if you had a nail fungus ever that you got in a salon (I did) and see how hard it is to cure then you would pay many more dollars to go to a clean spot.

If she is a personal friend, and by that I mean you see her outside of the salon. In my opinion you are just a regular customer if the only place you see her is in the salon. Customers come and go so I don't think you need to explain it, but I wouldn't go back. If she is a friend you see all the time then you might just say as someone else said, that you were ready for a change. But I would mention the cleanliness of the salon, not calling her dirty but just saying that you are always on guard for infection and it disturbs you when she picks items up off the floor and uses them on your hair, and tools that aren't sanitized. I think she needs to know this in any case.

You pop into different salons for fun! I *bow* to your courage.....lol Wink

About needing to know about sanitizing..............how could any hairdresser NOT know. As someone else said, she has lost "her passion" to spend time doing things the proper way. Her clients tend to mostly be relatives or friends. None of us would ever turn her in to the authorities. She is spending less and less time in the salon as her business declines and she spends more time working her second job.

Well popping into different salons has been fun with some umm, interesting results, sometimes I get great cut for just a little $$ and sometimes I have spent a lot more and have had some really bad cuts too! One time the scissors were so dull I think she more or less sawed my hair rather than cut it. {#emotions_dlg.laugh}

You are right she should know already, but losing your passion is no excuse for endangering people's health. I am going to school for a new career and there are two women who have worked as cosmetologists for decades and they are looking for a change, I guess it can't be an easy job. Maybe she will be glad to lose some business to do other things.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 8,250
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: AWKWARD......................

Like the old saying "If Momma's not happy, then nobody is happy". My hair is my crowning glory. It has to be just right. Life is too short to not be happy where you get your hair done.

I hope with whatever you decide, that you are happy.