Among Friends

[arklady]

Hi All! This is my first post since the big change up. I too am sad all the old posts are gone. Its been almost 9 months and it just seems to get harder some days. I still can't go thru Larrys clothes and personal items, I try to but just stop. April 27 was 1 year since the tornado and June 10 was 1 year since we moved into this house and I cried all day on both. Now our 44th wedding anniversary is coming up on July 31. How in the world did you ladies get thru that day? For the last 8 years we would go to OK and play at as many casinos we could in 2 days. I'm thinking about going this year alone. We would have so much fun, gambling and eating. If I do go it will be just for the day. Fathers Day was hard on the kids, every hard! We all went to the cemetery with tons of flowers. You know, all you with children, its hard to be strong all the time for them, but its something Mothers have to do.

[possummink]

Arklady,   I am glad that you found us at last.   I sure wish that QVC had been a bit kinder and saved all of those previous postings.   I know how hard it is to put feelings into words and let others know just how much we are hurting and missing our DHs.    It does help  to share some of that sadness and let others help us through the really bad down times.   There are no easy answers that suit everyone as each us has a different way of life and a different way of dealing with sorrow and grief.   We do muddle though it though, even the 'special' days that have such an emotional meaning for us.  

I can say, after 15 years of being a widow,  that the pain never goes away nor the missing or "what ifs'',for me,   but the edge of the pain eases over time and an acceptance of a life changed forever settles in and a semblance of serenity  becomes a part of  me/you.   You kind of go on and make a different kind of life, as what was,  isn't anymore, but you can have happiness and joy, just not the same.   I hope this makes sense.

I am kind of tired, as it was a busy day.   My DDIL celebrated her birthday today, and my daughter and granddaughters left St. Louis at 3 am and arrived here in the Tampa area a little over an hour ago.  Long long drive for one day, about 900 miles.   DD wasn't feeling well earlier in the week and was really tired when she got here.  My oldest GD, 16, did some of the driving through part of Georgia and Florida.  

Wishing all here, a peaceful and nice Friday, and a good weekend.  We'll probably leave here Monday for a few days at one of the beaches.  The kids love that and so do my grandkids.  

[possummink]

[possummink]

[possummink]

[possummink]

[possummink]

[snappyfrappy]

Hello dear ones. It's so nice here today. Cooler. DD#1 and her hubby are going out to the desert for the weekend at his family home there. GS and his wife will join them tomorrow.

phluphy, thank you for being so kind. I'm glad if anything I say helps anyone. Hoping the PT continues to help you, and how nice that you got to have lunch with your sons today. Sorry about the thunder and rain.

arklady, WOW, we are so happy to see you! We are worried about those who haven't posted since the switchover here. Everyone lost posts, but it's okay with me. Sorry it adds to your sense of loss. Nine months isn't very long. Some people never do give away their spouse's persoal things. I kept all the personal stuff, but had no trouble giving hubby's clothing away, except for a few  things we decided to keep. He didn't care about clothes, so there weren't many. One day you will be up to it, or maybe someone in the family can do it, but it's okay to just wait until you are ready. You have had some terrible things happen during this past year. The loss of your house. But I'm glad you had both moved into the new one so you don't have to relocated now. I find Father's Day to be hard for some reason. We did all get together that day, but I had told them I wouldn't be there. Am glad I went. My DS is the only dad in the family now. Am sure DD#1 went to the cemetery with flowers, but she knows I don't want to hear about it. It helps me to not talk about those speial days. Like if I don't, they aren't real. Odd. Anniversaries are hard for me also. At first, my kids thought I'd like flowers and cards, etc., but it made it worse for me, so I let them know and now they don't do it. If going on your traditional gambling tour would help you, then do it. You can always go home if you want to. Do come back here often so we can help each other. We love you, and feel for you and your family. It's okay for them to see you cry. They understand.

possummink, 15 years is a long time, or not at all. I do agree that things get easier and the pain is blunted. We do find a new "normal" and make a way to live one day at a time, and eventually fall into a pattern that we can live with. Nice to have your family there for the birthday, and to be going to the beach. I love the ocean. Wish I could go there by myself, but it would require too much freeway driving. Thanks again for the pictures. Those that move are  a hoot.

MamaS, please know you are loved and missed.

snappy

[possummink]

[possummink]