Among Friends

[dex]

@RoughDrafthis building is single story and could easily be made two story but it still would require a permit and would be a lot more costly than what he would like to do.We can’t break up the property because it was a motel at one time so the buildings are in a close group with no fair way to divide.Everyone would want the beach front and it couldn’t be chopped into eight pieces.I guess we will have to hope that he realizes that he is being unrealistic and this all blows over before next summer.We will send him an email letting him know that his plans are unacceptable to us and then have to wait and see what comes of it.

[Mom2Dogs]

@dex....you could also include code enforcement rules with your note to him.....some people are just unreasonable.

[151949]

No way 3 ft between houses is legal - it is a fire hazard.

[Mominohio]

This is why I would never co own anything with anyone but my husband.

I've seen similar issues with my great aunt who owned a cottage on a lake but only owned half of it (duplex). They agreed that if either party wanted to sell, they other one had first choice to buy (since it was connected). 

My aunt as she aged, wanted to sell/give her half to her daughter, but the co owner would have none of it, and wanted the terms of the contract followed to buy her out. There were much hurt feelings.

I don't think you are wrong or unfair in the least. Safety and codes have to come first, but some people simply think they are above the rules, the agreements, and the wishes of others. 

Do what you can within the law to prevent him from doing this, regardless of friendship. He isn't really caring about you and your needs/wants, so you will have to look out for yourself first. 

[Lilysmom]

@dex, it is wrong of this neighbor/friend to put you in a position where you would be breaking the law, not to mention voiding your insurance, to allow him to build his cheaper add on.  You are not being unreasonable to say no.  In fact, in order to protect yourself, I would be telling him in writing why you are opposed.  I would also tell him that, if he were to proceed with construction in your absence (I am assuming this is a seasonal home) that you would be forced to report the illegal construction to the authorities to protect your insurance coverage and limit your liability.

Not fun, I know but you need to protect yourself.  Surely your other neighbors, if aware of the whole story, would agree that he forced your hand.  LM

[lovesrecess]

No way would I allow him to build in the fire safety space; that would put both you and him in a potentially dangerous situation. Sounds like he just wants to save some money. He wants to build without a permit so there is no inspection....red flag! I would make you noncompliant, another red flag! You are doing the right thing. If he has another option for building on his property, you aren't hurting him a bit.....

[VaBelle35]

You definitely need to protect your rights.

If it were me (friends or no friends), I would go to a real estate lawyer and make sure a letter was drawn up either by the lawyer or code enforcement (or fire department or whoever has authority) that expressly speaks to this issue with that space.  All the people involved need to be put on notice to cover yourself in the event of an issue down the road.

It will be much cheaper to get ahead of it before he builds than to try to take him to court to get it taken down after he builds.

You think he's made at you now?  Wait.

[this is my nic]

@VaBelle35

I worked in real estate in various capacities for a number of years.  Your recommendation to seek the opinion of a real estate atty. is spot on!  A letter from the atty. to your neighbor, setting out the issues, might just cause the unreasonable neighbor to cease and desist. 

Good luck!

[Lindsays Grandma]

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@dex wrote:

The problem is that he is very angry and not speaking to us which is difficult as we all (8 families)share the property.He originally told us he was adding on behind his cabin which probably is not legal either but won’t affect our insurance.I think he came up with his new plan as it would be cheaper and much simpler job.I understand that he is dissapointed but he isn’t in my mind considering our position at all.We just happened to show up to close down our place and saw that he was prepping for his new mini cabin in our fire safety zone.

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Whatnow...I know you are in a tough situation but bottom line that man needs to be told under no circumstances he cannot do what he wants to do.  If he refuses to take you at your word than you need to show him in writing why he can't.  I know it is going to effect the relationship you and your husband have with him but right is right and he is being obnoxious.  Do not allow him to disrupt your lives because of his stubbornness.  Go forward and good luck.