What To Do

SeaMaiden · ‎03-10-2010

Yesterday there was all kinds of commotion going on at a home across the street in my cul de sak I am assuming that the husband of the home passed away unexpectedly natural or not I do not know at this time... from what I could see from my window. sheriff cars... fire trucks.... and eventually the coroners van.... saw Ann( the wife) being hugged by family.. crying... etc.... Nothing violent or the like.

I am not close to any of my neighbors... we wave and smile... but really that is about it. I do not even know any of their names other than this couple only because we talked about our dogs one time outside. Ann, the lady of the home) is very sweet. She is about my age. We have had over the years Just friendly talk... nothing deep or anything. Weather... dogs.... you know. Only met and spoke to her husband once years ago, but, have seen him mowing the lawn and such.

My question is.... with this sad incident that happened yesterday.... and if it does appear to be that her husband passed away, when the situation comes up later and I see Ann outside or the like .... what should I say without being too personal, or even impersonal? It is not a situation that I have ever gone through with a neighbor. I just want to say the right words. Also, once I find out the situation, is there a small gift or such that I could leave on her door step with say a card? Since we are not close I do not know if this is something that I should do. Perhaps just not do anything and respect her privacy since we are not close friends?

I will read through the suggestions but will not comment on each one. I do appreciate the time anyone takes to let me know what they feel is the proper thing to do.

Thanks so much. ~Sea Maiden~

Bird mama · ‎03-12-2010

@SeaMaiden I've had neighbors pass away that were acquaintances and when the funeral arrangements were published, I've paid my respects at the funeral home. That might be a way to express your condolences.

There are many elements: wind, fire, water
But none quite like the element of surprise

lolakimono · ‎03-29-2012

@SeaMaiden

If the roles were reversed, what would you want her to do for you?

fthunt · ‎12-24-2010

To 'ignore' what you saw would be rude beyond words. You're making a big issue - should I speak to my neighbor - should I send a gift or a card? Crazy......reach out your hand to her at her difficult time and.........perhaps you'll become friends.

sweetee2 · ‎06-21-2015

Make a casserole and take it over. Any act of kindness would be very appreciative and the awkwardness will be over.

kelsey17 · ‎04-10-2012

I might just send a sympathy card.....and the next time you run into her express your condolences....

qualitygal · ‎10-04-2010

I'd send a Sympathy card at least. You know the address. When it all is over, later, you can remain casual. If you visit with her, you can tell her you're sorry about her husband's passing. Let that be it. She can then comment, and then you've been compassionate.

dex · ‎03-09-2010

@SeaMaiden@You could say that you noticed a lot of medical vehicles at her home recently and ask her if you could help in any way.

Shanus · ‎05-17-2010

I think a simple sympathy card and handwritten “Sorry for your loss” would be appropriate. Be sure when you sign your name, to say that you’re her neighbor across the street...just in case she doesn’t remember your name.

If you meet up at another time, walking in the neighborhood, etc. the awkwardness would be taken care of by putting the card in her mailbox.

cherry · ‎03-09-2010

Since you don't know exactly what happened, I would send a nice thinking of you card ,and write something inside, to let her know you are concerned about her ,and maybe give her your phone number , for her to have ,in case she needs help ,in an emergency