Among Friends

[sissel]

DH had his neice get married & we live in the west but they live in the east, well, it would be airfair rent a car & hotel for this weekend so we decided not to go but gave her a big check. Also gave them early notice so they could invite other people for this huge wedding. No thank you. It has been 5 months ago, talked to my g/f that attends weddings, baby showers & bridal showers too, she said it's 50/50 sometimes you get one or not. I said even an email would be fine. so thankful I sent a check & know she deposited it that she recieved the money. Guess thank yous are a thing in the past. Also DH isn't that close to his family, haven't talked much to them.

[Lapdog]

Yep.  Seems to be the way it is.  Have 2 first cousins, attended both weddings, left checks.  No response, and this was to a senior  family member who did not understand the lack of a response at all.   One could have been lost in the mail, but not both.

[BlingItOn]

Here in NY thank yous for weddings sometimes take as long as 8 months because people wait for the professional photo thank you notes from their photographer.

[katiescarlett]

I have never received thank yous from my nieces and nephews for Christmas, birthday, graduation. I finally wrote one of the nieces and said "if you have time to send a graduation invitation, you have time to write a thank you."   Nothing.  So, they are all cut off and I no longer send them anything.  Their mother, my ex-SIL was the same way.  My brother is not much better.

I have been told by friends that it is just the way it is now, but, frankly, I find that unacceptable.

[RazorSharp]

I'm really surprised to read these posts.  How incredibly disappointing that the younger generation is so ungrateful and graceless.  People stereotype the millennial generation as entitled and lazy.  I guess there is some truth in stereotypes.  

[Nonametoday]

This country and its inhabitants are not becoming more gracious and civilized or but becoming more entitled and thankless.

[FranandZoe]

I don't think it's this country and its inhabitants.  I think it's the generation below mine (I'm 64) and the next one even more so.  And I agree they're entitled and thankless.  And yes lazy.

[NYC Susan]

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@BlingItOn wrote:
Here in NY thank yous for weddings sometimes take as long as 8 months because people wait for the professional photo thank you notes from their photographer.

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I'm in NY, and I've never waited 8 months for a thank-you note, even the ones that use professional photos.   

[sissel]

I'm saying big check we got 4 neices & DH & I both said each one gets the same amount since we only got 4, so happy to write checks to make sure they get it & see it on our bank statement. DD since she could write wrote out thank you's since we live far away & they mailed gifts just to let them know we got it. In another thread about dutch weddings I mention about the bride & grown had rolled up paper thank yous with a ribbon around it, it was printed out on the computer in a basket & we all had to grab the paper which was their thank you thought that was strange. What a strange world we live in. Now I know to send checks & let the bank show me they recieved it.

[Venezia]

@sissel - No, the answer would be not to bother sending a check any more!  Then you won't need to worry about whether they received it or not.

At the last family baby shower I went to, it was mobbed.  It was my niece's DIL.  It went on for four hours (at which point I left; they were still opening gifts) and the young woman thanked everyone as she opened the gift, except me!  She clearly didn't even know who I was and didn't have the courtesy to find out.  She also never sent out any thank you notes. 

That was the last one I attended and I have no intention of going to any more.  I spent time and money picking out what I hoped was a nice gift and included things on her registry.  Never again.

(ETA:  I was told after I let my SIL know that I'd never heard what the young woman had (boy or girl) and had never gotten a thank you note, that the new mother had "announced" it on her FB page.  Well, terrific - not everyone is on FB!  Just plain rude.)