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02-16-2025 07:46 AM
@ShopperL wrote:I have a dilemma. I was invited to a niece's wedding (hubby's brother's daughter). I've seen her about 5 times in her life and wouldn't recognize her if I ran into her at a store. We are flying to the wedding, renting a car, staying in a hotel so this is costing a few bucks. Got a save the date card and it is a black tie optional event. The last thing I want to do is purchase a gown that I will only wear once. I just retired and funds are precious at this point. Would you purchase a gown, wear a nice fancy below the knee dress or some other option? I'm looking forward to seeing my other nieces and nephews at the wedding so I want to go. What are your thoughts?
@ShopperL When a relative is "distant" and we don't know the bride or groom well, we refuse the invitation. It's way too costly to attend a wedding out of town for the reasons you mentioned.
02-16-2025 08:13 AM
My cousin bought a gown for about $25 for her daughter's wedding. I think on Ebay.
02-16-2025 10:12 AM
A save the date card doesn't really mean a lot and I wouldn't be making any kind of plans or buy any fancy clothing until the actual invitation arrives.
A lot can happen between now and then.
Personally, if I had only seen the bride 5 times in her life I would be sending regrets. It may be your husbands niece but that's a lot to expect from someone you don't know and they don't know you.
02-16-2025 10:28 AM
@ShopperL In this case I don't think I would purchase a gown. A nice dress would be perfectly appropriate.
02-16-2025 10:30 AM
I would definitely go. I like visiting new places. Meeting new people and seldom seen/never met relatives. I'd extend the stay and make a little vacation.
Lots of excellent suggestions have already been posted and I have none better to add.
02-16-2025 10:38 AM - edited 06-14-2025 05:53 PM
@ShopperL Key to me would be 'optional'. Wear something nicer and dressy that you're comfortable wearing and without further breaking the bank. Other than for the immediate wedding party, a gown is not at all necessary.
02-16-2025 11:19 AM
I agree with a few other posters--I wouldn't buy a gown but would find a nice pair of slacks and a fancy-ish top. find some nice sandals or shoes and a cute purse---you didn't mention what time of year this wedding will be--or I didn't read it--but that would determine the color, for me anyway. Start now tho--in case you need to get something else--my son got married last Sept--nothing fancy but I had at least 5 pairs of shoes I bought to try on--all from AMZ so could send them back---found my dress online in March and surprise, surprise--it was beautiful and didn't cost hardly anything---spent maybe--$100 on my whole outfit..... but was a very casual affair.
02-16-2025 11:28 AM - edited 02-16-2025 06:03 PM
When our kids were married, I wore formal gowns. It felt appropriate one time and out of place at the other. As a guest, I think it's perfectly fine for you to select a dress from your closet. We're attending a wedding in May and that's what I plan to do.
02-16-2025 12:26 PM
@ID2 She said she WANTED to go to the wedding. She wanted suggestions on what to wear.
02-17-2025 07:57 AM
Go if you want to go. Don't go if you don't want to go. Just decide if spending the money is worth it or affordable.
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