Among Friends

[LizzieInSRQ]

@ShopperL if its a fancy event and you dont have a fancy dress you can google online dress rental. I know someone who used Rent The Runway. She has a fit figure so she does fit easily. 

Check it out. Men can rent black tie, why not women renting fancy dress. 

If you do end up buying one, from say Amazon etc. You could wear it more than one time ( think holiday time) especially if you are wearing it out of town, locally would be a different audience somewhat. 

When it doubt, you could buy a simple black dress and use accesories, shoes, pins, wraps, jewelry to fancy it up and then be able to wear it again and again.

[Somertime]

@ShopperL 

If you have a pair of black dress slacks, Nicole Miller has a great sequin top that would be perfect.....A667914 for $59.00.  Kim Gravel has seqiun slacks as well A671312 for 60.99.  I have purchased both and can highly reccommend them.

[simplyfriends]

@ShopperL   You definitely want to feel pretty since you are spending money to travel there and it sounds like you are looking forward to seeing other family. I would be sure to find something you're comfortable in and feel good in. These are just suggestions. I don't know your style or what time of year. 

[Zoe]

If you don't have any cocktail-like attire (agree with not needing to wear a true gown), could you ask your friends if they have anything you could borrow for the occasion?

Just lent my friend my Joan Rivers black ball gown skirt and a sequin top to wear to a winter wedding. She didn't have anything suitable, and this outfit has served me well when going to opera or weddings or special occasions with my better half. She returned it in pristine condition and didn't have to spend any of her money for a one-off outfit.

Also second the options to rent or thrift stores.

[haddon9]

I've been to several black tie optional weddings in upscale venues in recent years and many women wear dressy jumpsuits or flowy chiffon black pants with dressy tops.  You could get a dressy blouse or tank with jacket and dress it up with accessories. 

I would not buy a gown since I don't like dresses plus it's kind of limiting....where would you wear it again?  Separate dressy pieces can be worn to other events or out to a nice dinner or another party.

[Sooner]

I would look at Goodwill or Salvation Army or various church thrift shops.  After the holidays would be a great time to look!  Probably lots that were worn once!

[Sakuya]

I would not buy a gown. Black pants from your closet and a nice top with jacket will work just fine. Add a fancy necklace or broach/pin on the jacket and you're all set. If you don't have a nice top or jacket and don't want to try a thrift shop, check out walmart. You will probably find something that will work for a low price.

[chrystaltree]

It says black tie optional so obviously, you aren't required to wear an evening gown.  Just wear something nice.  What you would wear to fancy restaurant and dress it up with jewelry and sparkly shoes.  

[ID2]

OP. I wouldn't go. They are somewhat of a distant relative. Give your regrets, send them a nice card with money and call it a day. 

[Skyegirl21]

Fancy weddings seem to be in trend right now- But a nice dress is absolutely fine! Look around in thrift and consignment stores if you don't already have something appropriate- Yeah agree, I try not to buy expensive clothing that will not get much wear!