Wedding # 3

chrystaltree · ‎05-10-2010

Yesterday I saw on FB that my friend's daughter was engaged on Christmas Eve. I'm happy for her and the ring is stunning. This will be her 3rd wedding in 7 years. In my mind, I just thought it would be a smallish wedding or a destination wedding because she just had a big white church wedding with 200 guests 3 years ago. She also had the same type of wedding a few years before that. She and daughter #1 have been friends since kindergarten and my daughter called to tell me that she was asked to be a bridesmaid (as she was at the first 2 weddings) and once again it's going to be a huge church affair. Didn't seem to bother her at all. Yes, we'll be invited and yes, we'll go because these are friends. This time around, we will not give money as a wedding gift. I've given enough to her, I'll get a big fruit bowl or something from Marshall's and I'll skip the shower. It just seems too much to me. Hubby says that it's probably the first marriage for the groom and he should have a big formal wedding if that's what he wants. He might be right. I just think that's a lot of wedding and shower gifts for one bride in such a short period of time. Maybe I'm just being a wedding Scrooge..lol

haddon9 · ‎03-09-2010

I've never personally known anyone who has had multiple large weddings in a short period of time. I do have to wonder...who's paying for all of them?

chrystaltree · ‎05-10-2010

@haddon9 wrote:
I've never personally known anyone who has had multiple large weddings in a short period of time. I do have to wonder...who's paying for all of them?

First for me too. I know the parents paid for the first wedding. The bride and groom paid for the second wedding themselves, they both had high paying jobs and could well afford it. I assume it's the same this time but I don't know for sure.

QVCkitty1 · ‎05-23-2015

Maybe third times a charm, let's hope so.

" You are entitled to your opinion. But you are not entitled to your own facts."
Daniel Patrick Moynihan

Big Joanie · ‎01-02-2015

All i can say about this is .. what the heck ????

OKPrincess · ‎03-10-2013

@chrystaltree You should stand by your friend since it's her daughter who's found true love for the third time in seven years. Really, your friend is not responsible for her daughter's decisions and she's probably terribly embarrassed . So be there at least for your friend. (I stood by my friend of 31 years whose daughter had 4 children by three different men in 14 yrs. I know she was heartbroken and embarrassed but now everything's good.)

Daisy Sunflower · ‎10-26-2010

It's nice that you're even attending the wedding.

I wonder if he's a little worried that she'll eventually dump him for someone else.

chrystaltree · ‎05-10-2010

@OKPrincess

The bride's mother is my friend but she doesn't need my "support", I don't know where that is coming from. As I said, since we are all friends and have been for 25 years, we'll definitely attend the wedding. I love weddings and if it's like the previous two, it will be lovely. I just refuse to give an expensive gift this time around. My issue is only that weddings are expensive today and it seems too much, perhaps even greedy, to invite people to 3 big weddings in such a short period of time. I'd never say that to anyone in our a circle. My daughter didn't seem phased by it so it might be a matter of my age showing.

chrystaltree · ‎05-10-2010

@Daisy wrote:
It's nice that you're even attending the wedding.

I wonder if he's a little worried that she'll eventually dump him for someone else.

I know that if I was that man, I'd be a little concerned. On the other, hand perhaps he is "the one".

Annabellethecat66 · ‎03-12-2010

I'm sitting here watching....'say yes to the dress'. Hummm???

My middle daughter's dress was $5,000 and the vale was $500. It was straight strapless A line. Nothing on it!

She's been married for 14 years and is in the early stages of a divorce. She wore the dress one time (as usual). She was my daughter that always said she was going to 'rent' a dress. Things change. She got married at Congressional Country Club in Maryland (cost a fortune). We had two weddings 3 months apart.

Anyway, @chrystaltree your post reminded of my late husband's business partner. His only child (girl) was married 3 times. We only went to the first one. There were 600 people there. We never did eat!

The young woman who gave me a ride (she worked for "Lyft") last night said she was going to get a divorce but for Christmas they (her child and her and husband) were visiting his parents here).

Of course (you know me) I talked all of the way home. She said, "I don't want anything from him". I said, "Whoa! Slow down! That's fine but you have a 3 year old and you need to make sure he helps provide for her. Also, before you know it, she'll be starting college. You need to make sure when that time comes, he'll help pay for some of it".

She talked about how wonderful and kind he was but she didn't want to be married anymore. I said, "Well, if he's as nice as you say, the odds are he'll eventually remarry. He'll probably have other children. You need to ensure the daughter the two of you had together is part of his life and he helps you support her."

She said, "Wow! I never thought of all that." I'm so glad I picked you to drive today". (It turns out I was her first person she's ever driven). How about that?

I don't believe in incidences. I think most things happen for a reason. There was a reason I picked her (you get to choose the car) and we were put together.

On the way home I had another young woman (from Lyft) drive me home. She is originally from Ethiopia. She's married with 2 children.

She said she thinks so many 'young' people get divorced too quickly (like, I just don't want to be married to this person, like the first young woman).

I said in every marriage there are times when the marriage gets tough. But short of an abusive relationship or something as bad as that, most of the time people can work things out. She agreed.

My 37 year old daughter has never been married. I don't know if she will. She's with someone she's known since middle/elementary school. They are very, very good friends first and foremost. They do everything together.

Anyway, things are strange these days. My oldest daughter is happily married and has 4 living children. One of her children lived for 7 days and died. Her marriage survived that with help from a counselor. It wasn't easy, but they got through it.

I don't know the answer (who does). My middle daughter didn't want the divorce but the old story.....another woman and so on. So here you have my daughter, my 3 grandchildren, the other woman's husband and children and on and on. Everyone's life is upside down.

Just doesn't make sense, does it?