Among Friends

[gizmogal]

I think it was handled perfectly Your husband was polite and affable but did not allow these strangers past the gate. I see no danger in their taking a photo if he permitted it. Since they did not overtly ask to stay the night, you had no obligation to invite them or accommodate them. 

They got the brief acquaintance time they seemed to want and they were not dismissed or chased off. It’s not like you called the police or became aggressive in any way. Avoiding their entry to your home did not make you rude. If they could call once and get no answer, they could have tried a second time. This doesn’t make them suspect. It just means they remained strangers, arrived later than most people would enjoy company, and accepted just what they got: conversation and polite avoidance of further hospitality. 

There may may have been cultural differences involved in how they expected to be greeted and treated and certainly their sensitivity to an older couple’s caution was not in tune. But you should feel no obligation to allow strangers into your home or put them up for the night. They never seemed to explain how they found your address or tracked you here, so I don’t think one photo from 14 years ago is a direct pass to your guest room. 

Being cautious of a couple of young strangers is not rude. I would have done as your husband did and acted receptive but not invitational. Have no second thoughts. Your instincts were healthy and appropriate.  Your hindsight on this situation is perfectly civilized and does not deserve anything but chalking it up to the oddities of life. Live long enough, you see all kinds of things. 

[jubilant]

Not to have left a voice mail and to show up at 8:30 in the evening was really not wise on their part.  That or they are just young and naive.  Ideally, had they let you know what it was all about on your answering machine, you could have met at a public place that day or the next.  I think you did the right thing.  Even though they could have been on the "up and up" they had no right to expect any more than they got under the circumstances.

[YorkieonmyPillow]

I would've handled it the same way. I don't care where they claim to come from, I definitely would NOT ask strangers to spend the night in my home!

Never.

[Snowpuppy]

If they are truly now Canadian, that may explain a lot.

It's common to live in multi cultural communities. I'm talking first generation immigrants. While 8:30 is late, most Canadians don't live with the paranoia that many in the US live with. Fear your neighbor is not the rule. 

I would not have invited them in but I may have suggested to meet at a restaurant the next day to chat.

Truly makes me sad that this is what we've become.

[jubilant]

@Snowpuppy

It is sad.  I remember a time when it was rare to hear about murders, intruders, scammers, etc. as much as we do now. Now, it is rampant and just not safe to trust those you don't really know....especially when it involves welcoming them into your home with open arms!

[occasionalrain]

What makes me suspicious is that they didn't leave a message with a number to call them back. Also the time they stopped by without it being pre arranged. All the information they had could possibly have been found on the Internet. If the OP lives in an upscale neighborhood i would be even more suspicious.

Always err on the side of prudence.

Bty, your post was clear, concise and well written, perfect.

[RedTop]

I think you handled the situation very well, and definitely appropriately.   

I have found several distant relatives thru the internet.  My husband and I met the 2 male cousins for dinner at a local restaurant when they were passing thru this area.  One later sent me a treasured item I had always been searching for.  The female cousin who emailed pictures of my great grandpa taken in this area was invited to my house.   I gave her an item that had actually belonged to her relative.   All were lovely people, and we are still in touch.   

[NicksmomESQ]

 I would have done the same exact thing!! You & your husband have to put yourselves first.Family or not you don’t know these people,period!!

[eddyandme]

Would have pretnded not to be home!

[blackhole99]

I would not have let them in, but I would have asked for their info to get in touch in the future. I remember when I was a teen, my grandfather's cousins from Austria just showed up at my grandma's house. My grandfather had been dead for many years and my grandma never met these people. Anyway, my grandma did not hesitate to let them in,  they became great friends and our families still keep in touch today.