Among Friends

[DrakesMomma]

@shoppinggirl12 - there is no advice I can offer you but I am sending good thoughts for you and your son. 

[RetRN]

I hate to say it, but the girlfriend is clearly not helping this situation. 

[Bird mama]

@shoppinggirl12  Sweetie, don't give the mouthy girlfriend a second thought.  Girlfriends come and girlfriends go, your his Ma and you are doing what is in the best interest for him long term.  It's unfortunate that diseases of the mind carry so much stigma amongst people.

[BirkiLady]

You just said, "They will begin medication today" or something to that effect. I'm stunned he hasn't been on medication yet. You've made the best decisions by following the physician's recommendations. Blessings and strength as you continue this path with your son. He needs your love, even if he is rejecting you right now. 

Ignore the girlfriend and her dramatics; she's an enabler. Probably should be in treatment as well. 

[LTT1]

@shoppinggirl12

When you get these type phone calls, there is nothing really for you to do except put your mind somewhere else.

This situation is not your fault. 

The girlfriend, just like your son, is not fully mature enough yet to handle the situation. It is overwhelming for everybody.

So priorities first. Your son’s wellness. Just maybe stick to that thought for now. 

The idea of counseling for you, to help clear your mind and clarify what needs to be done, sounds like a great idea if you can do it!

My sympathies. But I am so glad if he is not having a drug-dependency illness.  Give this time.❤️

[sydsgma1]

@shoppinggirl12  My Dh and I have a child who is bipolar. I cannot tell you the number of times she was involuntarily committed to a hospital. We were strong, stood by her but did not enable her...the doctors will decide what is best for him.  If the gf is negative they might ban her from seeing him...one time my child could not see anyone but therapists and doctors for 30 days. She also had phone privileges taken away.

Bipolar is difficult for the patient and family you are at the beginning of a long and bumpy journey. But, they can get well, maintained on meds. My adult child graduated from college, and has a very successful life  and a good job.

i would suggest you do not respond to the gf and maybe not even your son, until he stabilizes.

(((Hugs))))

[151949]

Honestly, it sounds like his girlfriend has some mental health issues herself. Very likely she is not helping his situation, but there is not much you can do about her. Once your son gets on meds he will probably be more reasonable. I'd just stick with doing what the doctor recommends as best you can.

[shoppinggirl12]

Sydsgma - Oh my gosh, can't believe I found someone who went thru what I am going thru!  Is there a way I can reach out to you??  Would love to be able to talk.  I am so stressed right now!

And she is saying that my son wanted to come home (to their apartment), and he was getting better, when she saw him.  But today he clearly sounded not himself.

And she is scarying me....saying they will drug him, the place is full of loonies, vomiting in the hall, and he is only gonna get worse in there!

My son does not have my down, as being able to talk to doctors.  So I told her, I could look into all of that, if he will put my name down!  But now she says he hates me!

[CAcableGirl2]

@shoppinggirl12 You are doing the right thing, even if he and his girlfriend don't acknowledge it.

Mothers have a special bond with their sons.  You are being the parent in this situation and supporting the health of your son.  

Stay the course.  I'm praying for you and your son and that some day in the near future, he will be on his proper medication and thank you for what you have done for him.

Girlfriend may be an enabler as someone pointed out.  You may not know what her motivation is - perhaps she needs him to work to support the house, instead of him taking the time to get better.  Meanwhile you are showing your unconditional love by making the hard decisions.

I makes me think of the issues that Britney Spears had with her bi-polar illness.  I remember the pictures of her shaved head and was attacking a vehicle with an umbrella.  Look at her know, has her life together, huge success in her career, and a great relationship with her father, who basically took over her guardianship.

You will get through this - being a parent is hard sometimes, but you are making the best choices for your son. 

[Montana]

@shoppinggirl12, stay strong. I think you did what is best for your son. Please, try not to let the girlfriend make you feel bad. You love your son and are trying to help him.  Does she? Is she?  It doesn’t sound like it.