Among Friends

[Lindsays Grandma]

---

@Kachina624 wrote:

@RinaRina.  You are skating on thin ice if you come between these two.  I'd ask a lot less questions and make more decisions on your own.  No supervisor likes an employee who is so dependent she is a pest.

The two lovebirds are also tempting fate.  If things get nasty, I wouldn't hesitate to discuss the situation with HR.  The behavior of a couple of co-workers can be grounds for a sexual harrassment complaint as they can create a hostile enviroment, as you're discovering.  There are about a million reasons why office romances, especially involving a supervisor, are not a good idea.  When things sour between them, he will be tettering on the edge of a sexual harrassment complaint.  I wouldn't want to be in his place.  It's a lose/lose situation.

---

You said it loud and clear, this situation is heading for people losing their jobs.

[manhattan1950]

---

@RinaRina wrote:

---

@hckynut wrote:

@RinaRina

If you have to work at age 70, it's a shame.  

hckynut

---

I work 12 hrs. a week.  Is THAT a lot to you?

For me, it's "get out of the house" time -- and extra money.

If you SHOP like I do, you need "extra money".

The older I get, the more things I enjoy ...

In fact, I just joined a Travel Club for seniors.

I guess I'm suffering from "I'd like to do that" syndrome.

I paint, sew, knit, crochet, make rugs, weave plarn mattresses for the homeless,  ...

I have a lot of hobbies .. and the supplies are not free.

I take classes;  they're not free either.

I'm doing a lot of things I've never done before -- because I have the time.

Most of them cost "extra" money.

The only thing I do for free is sleep and walk my dog.

Yeah, it's a shame at my age, I'm still working.

I often think, at some point, I WILL have to control my spending and not work.

If you retired on several million dollars, then good for you.

I lost a lot of my money in the stock market.  So, I do what I have to do.

And I don't cry about.

And I don't feel sorry for myself, so neither should you.

---

I can't imagine keeping a job working 12 hours a week. NOT worth even getting up for.

[Lindsays Grandma]

---

@RetRN wrote:

I will never understand why someone needs to work at age 70, that alone is problematic. Plan ahead, know and admit when it is time to move on with your life. 

---

There are a lot of 70 year old people still working out there.  I say, all the more power to them, they aren't dead yet.  I planned on  working until 75 but sadly a failed back surgery forced me to retire earlier.  Why would still working at age 70 be problematic?  I am asking you that question not to be snarky or nasty, I honestly would like to know.

[Lindsays Grandma]

---

@Drythe wrote:

---

@hckynut wrote:

---

@RinaRina wrote:

---

@hckynut wrote:

@RinaRina

If you have to work at age 70, it's a shame.

hckynut

---

https://www.today.com/video/today/56633988

"96-year-old yoga teacher: ‘I don’t believe in age’ "

I suppose, what you choose to do with your time is an individual decision .. based on desire or necessity. 

Things could be worse.  I'm just glad I'm not in a hospital with a bunch of tubes stuck in my nose and veins. 

@RinaRina

Myself and that 96 year old yoga teacher think a lot alike. I have said on several forums here over many years:  "chronological age is just a number, and to me nothing more.

I am just the opposite of you when it comes to spending money. I say I am "frugal", some prefer to use the word "cheap". My mom raised me that way and I have never changed. I buy mostly things I need, and seldom buy things just because I want them. Everyone is different.

I retired at age 52, and have never looked back. I have done lots of "work", but I was my own boss. During the interim years, I have spent lots of days/weeks in the hospital, and yes, with tubes stuck in my arms/legs/groin, and oxygen in my nose.

Now? Getting ready to go to my regular 2 hour ice skating session, which I do 2-3 times every week. Been awhile since I have been in the hospital with things in and on me to help keep me alive, and I make the most of every day I am given.

Everyone that lives long enough goes through tough times, some because they choose to, and others that have no control over these happenings.

"Man was born to live, not to prepare for life"!

hckynut

---

---

@hckynut

Enjoy your Skating!

I join you in the frugal club.  My Wonderful Grandmother taught me that it was fine to spend your money, but you should be sure to get good value for it.

So, I DO look twice at value.

I call it frugal, others may call it cheap, that's on them!  

---

I don't think I was frugal but I have always been practical where money is concerned.  My daughter spends like no tomorrow and I keep telling her not to spend money she doesn't have.  Pay the bills first and foremost and if there is anything left for luxuries, think before you even spend that.

[Lindsays Grandma]

Having been in the work world for many years I can attest to companies frowning upon romantic relationships in the same departments.   People in their twenties in management positions?  I'll leave that one alone.  While working for a huge and well known company there was a situation where an employee in a high ranking position who got involved with a teller at the bank he did business with, hired her  to work in his department.  When it was discovered, she was immediately removed from that location and given another position elsewhere.  I am the one who was called and asked exactly where her office was and I can tell you, the person who called me was very serious about the situation.

It appears to me that you are fighting a losing battle and perhaps, if at all possible, you should speak with someone in a higher position to find out exactly who is in charge.  Once that is established it should be defined as to what exactly your supervisor's duties are.  At this point you are being told to go to Mary, Mary reports back to her BF  what you did or said, and you are in the middle. 

I would venture to say if whoever is over Mary and the BF should  find out they are having an affair in the workplace, will either fire both of them or one.  That of course depends on what the rules of the company are.  As I said earlier, the majority of companies frown on it and some will  take action to put an end to it.  You have a choice, back away from both of them, make your own decisions.  The other choice is to go to their immediate supervisor to find out who is in charge, him or her, and go from there.  Whatever you decide to do, I wish you luck because the environment in your workplace right now is not a healthy one.  And the whole thing is confusing, to say the least.

[DJP]

It's time to quit this job if it's causing so much stress. 

[Carmie]

---

@RinaRina wrote:

---

@Imaoldhippie wrote:

Why did you put supervisor in quotes?  Was he not really a supervisor or what?  Maybe he is tired of you coming to him about everything and is passing the buck.  This is a bad, bad situation will most likely blow up.

---

Hey Imaoldhippie,

I was wondering if you'd show up.  ITA with your post.

If I don't keep my mouth shut, things will blow up.

They almost did on Friday. 

Posters keep saying there's "more to the story". ... Well, there's a lot more, but I can't put it all here. It's just too much. However,  I will talk about FRIDAY.

On Friday, I was with my kids (we're each assigned a grade) in a room.  We had just finished playing trivia, when all of sudden 2nd, 4th & 5th graders STAMPEDED into the room.  When I said, "guys, you can't come in here, we're using this room, 3 of the kids said, "Mary told us to come in here".

I texted my male supervisor (the BF) and asked him to tell Mary we were in the room and had she looked in the windows (the room has large two windows) beforehand, she would've known the room was occupied.

Within 10-15 minutes she stormed into the room and in front of the children said, "if you have something to say about me, you come to me and say it" ... or something like that.

I walked OUT of the room.  It was disgraceful!

The GF is a nuisance.

Re: "supervisor" - his title is not "supervisor", but that's what I call him.  He's in charge.  Or I could call him "manager".

---

I do your same job  on a volunteer basis.

This is what I would have done differently.  I would not have told your supervisor to tell Mary anything. That is not your place to do that.

 I would have calmed down and asked an older responsible child to look for Mary in the hall and ask her to  come to see you so you could talk  (Mary knew the room was occupied or she wouldn't have sent children into an empty room alone, she should have told you she was sending you some more) or texted the super and ask him how you should handle the children in your room who were not part of your group, or you just could have invited the kids in and asked them to have a seat. You probably only watch the kids you are assigned to for about 30 minutes total, so there was probably only a couple of minutes left before their play time was over anyway.

 You should in no way even have mentioned Mary to the super in your text.  It is not professional to tattle on a co-worker. You should only ask for help for the situation, not complain about someone or point a finger.

It is apparent that you do not like Mary, and you already know your supervisor will take her side.  It sounds like she is pushing your buttons and you are responding on queue.

Also, you stated that you walked out of the room. You could be fired for that. No matter what, you are not allowed to leave a room full of children unattended. Your job is to stay in that room with your assigned children.

I know for a fact that your job is not an easy one.  Perhaps it is too overwhelming for you.  Sometimes I feel the same way.

[deedledeedeedle]

These situations never end well. Stay away from the politics and just do your job is my advice. This way when its all said and done (they break up) you will still be employed. If you are questioned don't go into details other than to say you've been put into an impossible situation.     

If it works out and they do end up marrying they probably will have to work in separate schools so you're okay either way.

dee

[hckynut]

---

@missy1 wrote:

---

@RetRN wrote:

I will never understand why someone needs to work at age 70, that alone is problematic. Plan ahead, know and admit when it is time to move on with your life. 

---

There's lots of reasons. Not everyone has the pensions, savings , jobs for 25+ years, spouses (dual incomes), big ss checks,  house paid for...

It's only going to get worse for my generation and after.

---

@missy1

BIG SS checks? I know many people besides myself and my wife that receive SS checks every month. BIG is a relative word, but for me, in comparison to my blue collar hourly pay back in '91 when I retired? A long, long way from being BIG! Relatively speaking of course.

I wonder why I always hear Social Security is going broke, but never hear the same about Welfare Entitlements running out of money?  Strange, no?

hckynut

[deedledeedeedle]

Ahem. Seriously. Some of us <<LOVE>> 

to work and will never, ever sit around waiting to die!

How snarky of you, @RetRN.

I don't really need to be working now but 
I choose to because I don't want my brain to turn to mush.

I've paid my dues and I will continue to pay them and that's none of your d*** business, either.

dee