@Summer Shine wrote:
Does anyone who has gone through the process of settling their parents estate have any advise on the process? I'm an only child and finding it overwhelming. My husband and I have boxed up lots of things for donation. What's left I'm trying to get through to decide what I want to keep and what I want to let go. It's difficult with lots of sentimental attachment to a lot of their things.. I just don't have the room to keep much. I don't know much about estate sales but I guess that's coming up next for me. Any advise or tips on how to proceed with that? I know there are different types of estate sales. Any positive or negative experiences to pass along that might offer quidance?
@Summer Shine - When my mom died, I lived two states away. I was the only surviving child, and my father's and my late brother's things were in the attic and the basement. DS was one-year old.
What a nightmare! Her lawyer lived down the street, and he was in practice by himself. Sitting in his basement office I saw papers everywhere, and I was remembering who lived there when I was in high school. OK. Mom trusted him, so I did. He filed the paperwork and opened the estate. I thought everything was going fine when I got a call from his wife. He had suffered a stroke in his 40's. It turns out he had never filed the paperwork. I went down to the courthouse with DS in the stroller. A kind lady took pity on me and helped me do all of the paperwork on my own. Since there was no one else, there was no one challenging me. We finished everything without a lawyer.
My parents' house was by the bay, and we knew it wouldn't be hard to sell. We thought about keeping it, because we always wanted a boat. But this was a big home, and our children would grow up someplace else. That's where their friends would be, and the Saturday activities they would participate in.
We took about 3 years, going down on Saturdays, to clean the house out. DD usually stayed with one of her friends here. DH spent most of the time watching DS, so I could work.
In the end we let one of Mom's neighbors, who was the football coach at my high school (after I left), talk us into an auction. I wanted him to find three things. He couldn't.Pictures of my parents when they were dating and other pictures were in a dresser in the basement. That was flooded during a bad storm when I was in college. He said he couldn't save any of them. All of the albums I had poured over when I was young - gone.
I couldn't keep everything I wanted to. I told my widowed uncle, his three single sons, and my late brother's best friend to come and take what they wanted. DH went down on auction day - I just couldn't.
The house was also auctioned. A family really wanted it, but a contractor outbid them. The auctioneer later told DH he wished he could have done something else so they could get it. The contractor listed it after he worked on it. My best friend went through it. She said he covered the hardwood floors with wall-to-wall carpeting. He pulled out all of the landscaping, including my mom's beautiful rose garden.
We made the right decision for us at the time. I do regret selling the house the way we did and not listing it, but we would have had to redo the kitchen and the driveway, and that would have cost a lot of money.
Sorry I wrote a book! I wanted you to know my experience, since you are also kind of alone. Good luck @Summer Shine - the memories might grab you, but it's not the same without your loved ones there.
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