Settling Parents Estate

Summer Shine · ‎03-09-2010

Does anyone who has gone through the process of settling their parents estate have any advise on the process? I'm an only child and finding it overwhelming. My husband and I have boxed up lots of things for donation. What's left I'm trying to get through to decide what I want to keep and what I want to let go. It's difficult with lots of sentimental attachment to a lot of their things.. I just don't have the room to keep much. I don't know much about estate sales but I guess that's coming up next for me. Any advise or tips on how to proceed with that? I know there are different types of estate sales. Any positive or negative experiences to pass along that might offer quidance?

jlkz · ‎12-02-2013

@Summer Shine

As the oldest daughter, I had to settle my parents estate. I was lucky in that DH is an attorney and we worked together on the project.

I also helped my niece sell my Aunt's home which included dealing with all her clothes and decor items.

The key issue on selling parents' home or settling their estate revolves around is what to keep. My suggestion: select for your self one or two items that are important to you and which you will keep displayed.

Suggest to other family members and friends that they also select one item for a remembrance.

This way it will help reduce all the circular questioning: do I keep this, do I sell that, do I donate that, etc.

You may want to search this Q board for pro's and con's of estate sales: issues, costs, time commitment, final disposition may take you back to " keep " vs. " donate " question.

Since you don't have much storage space, you don't want to start cluttering your own environment: this can lead to depression.

Best of luck for a highly emotional project.

We make a living by what we get. We make a life by what we give.
Sir Winston Churchill

Bookplate · ‎08-19-2011

I was in a similar situation - only child having to sell the house and its contents to pay for my mother's nursing home care. Fortunately I had a very good realtor, who knew reliable people in construction, estate sales, junk removal, etc. She put me in touch with a person who held house sales. This was done in the house before it went on the market. Most of the stuff went. Not for big bucks of course but better than we would have done in a garage sale as she knew how to get people in to look. The hardest stuff to move was the old furnitfure. Some of that we couldn't even give away to charities; we had to pay to have it removed.

It is overwhelming. Ask people in the neighborhood, and in particular realtors, for references to estate sale professionals.

Best of luck to you.

spumoni99 · ‎02-16-2019

When my parents passed I was lucky to have siblings to help, it is a lot of work!

I think about this all the time, I need to get rid of "stuff".

My parents didn't have much of value aside from a car and the house, we had one garage sale and then rented a big dumpster for the rest. I did keep a few sentimental things.

Hugs, sorry you are going through this.

patbz · ‎03-10-2010

I was Executrix for my parents ( I was in CA and they were in MD). My cousin and my Dad's baby sister offered to empty house and take what they wanted and distribute to other first degree relatives what they wanted. They arranged cleaners, realtors, charity donations and garage sale ( my brother and I had a small amount of furniture and jewelry shipped back to CA). They actually had fun doing it and discovering family heirlooms like a baby dress worn by my Dads older sis who died as a baby. My Dad had decluttered their only home ( built by them in 1936) about 5 years before he passed so what I asked them to do was organize others that I hired. When their home was sold I wrote each of these two ladies a check for several thousand dollars. My parents had a trust and I knew all their burial plans and had that pre paid. Biggest problem I ran into was that my Dad wanted to be buried at Arlington and I couldn't find his DD214 ( proof of discharge) so I called my Congressman and had it within a week ( although his burial was scheduled for six months later ( when my Mom passed several years later she too was buried there). At Arlington currently most must be cremated to be interred. I arranged for celebration of their lives to be catered by clubs at Ft.Myer.

juanitalinda · ‎03-11-2010

My parents' came up with the perfect way for me to avoid all those decisions.

They gave the house and all personal and family items to my sister.

Eeasy peazy.

colleena · ‎03-27-2010

@Summer Shine It's hard to do but in my opinion you need to take your time & decide what you really want to do/what would your parent's want you to do. Sometimes getting rid of things so fast at a later time you go, oh, I wish I hadn't done that. Or like with me, I still have things that I wish I had gotten rid of years ago, they give me good feelings but they also give me bad feelings if that makes sense. Only you know what you need to do & I wish you well doing it.

tansy · ‎01-02-2011

There are estate sale services that will handle this for a fee.

Sooner · ‎03-10-2010

Only child here, done it four times for relatives. Hire an estate sale company. Do not try to go all this yourself.

Do not keep a bunch of stuff. It can root you out of your house. It's just stuff someone else had and you are not a museum.

It is a huge burden in many ways, and unsettling to do this. Get it done ASAP and go live your life.

Luvsmyfam · ‎11-26-2019

@Summer Shine I do not envy you,for this has to bee very hard on you.My parents are in their late 80s.and I know my day is coming.I am the oldest of 5,so I know alot will be on my shoulders.Good luck to you