Among Friends

[AuntG]

Your point that the more you know about people, the more you wish you didn't, makes sense to me.  I suppose it sounds judgemental, but there are people who I liked years ago, but now I just think "ick" when I hear what they are up to.

[Mominohio]

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@AuntG wrote:

Your point that the more you know about people, the more you wish you didn't, makes sense to me.  I suppose it sounds judgemental, but there are people who I liked years ago, but now I just think "ick" when I hear what they are up to.

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I agree with this!

I am maybe too judgemental, but really, the less I know about most people, the better I like them.

The older I get (be it right or wrong), the higher expectations I seem to have for people. I expect them to be responsible, show respect, do the right thing etc. I find that as time passes, fewer and fewer people make these type things a priority in their lives.

Now I certainly do realize several things. Young people are still learning and making mistakes, so cut them some slack. Not everyone believes what I do or likes what I like, and that is ok, and not what I'm talking about. I don't withdraw from people because we have opposite viewpoints.

It seems like the longer I know many people, or the deeper I get into their lives, the less respect I have for many of them. 

As to the OP, I understand your feelings. It is both frustrating and sad to be surrounded by people that you should have things in common with, that you should enjoy, and find that you don't because of their weak moral character or simply not having anything in common. 

Don't beat yourself up for it, but move on to try to build relationships with like minded people. Spend more time going to the kinds of places that you would expect to find those people, but most of all, don't force it and be patient. If you put yourself out there (in some of the places others have mentioned, or clubs and groups that deal with some of your interests), and let things take their course, I think you may find many places and settings where you will not only feel more comfortable, but actually find joy in doing some things again.

[ScarletDove]

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@Mominohio wrote:

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@AuntG wrote:

Your point that the more you know about people, the more you wish you didn't, makes sense to me.  I suppose it sounds judgemental, but there are people who I liked years ago, but now I just think "ick" when I hear what they are up to.

---

I agree with this!

I am maybe too judgemental, but really, the less I know about most people, the better I like them.

The older I get (be it right or wrong), the higher expectations I seem to have for people. I expect them to be responsible, show respect, do the right thing etc. I find that as time passes, fewer and fewer people make these type things a priority in their lives.

Now I certainly do realize several things. Young people are still learning and making mistakes, so cut them some slack. Not everyone believes what I do or likes what I like, and that is ok, and not what I'm talking about. I don't withdraw from people because we have opposite viewpoints.

It seems like the longer I know many people, or the deeper I get into their lives, the less respect I have for many of them. 

As to the OP, I understand your feelings. It is both frustrating and sad to be surrounded by people that you should have things in common with, that you should enjoy, and find that you don't because of their weak moral character or simply not having anything in common. 

Don't beat yourself up for it, but move on to try to build relationships with like minded people. Spend more time going to the kinds of places that you would expect to find those people, but most of all, don't force it and be patient. If you put yourself out there (in some of the places others have mentioned, or clubs and groups that deal with some of your interests), and let things take their course, I think you may find many places and settings where you will not only feel more comfortable, but actually find joy in doing some things again.

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@Mominohio   

Appreciate your like-minded post!

[blackhole99]

When I think back, I realize I put up with a lot of inequities and slights involving my relatives. I know we overlook things just to get along and keep peace in the family, but as I age and my health is not the best, I just don't do it anymore. I know only too well that it's hard to make friends and keep them for any length of time, seems like everyone moves on. If you are the person who just loves people and needs to be in relationships to be fulfilled then I guess you need to find a way to make that happen. I think you are smart to concentrate on your immediate family for now.

[DiAnne]

This makes me think of that saying "Familiarity Breeds Contempt"

[ROMARY]

I would keep away from overly drinking relatives.  Nothing good can come from it, imo.  Just decline invitations unless you can bring a 'sober' friend with you.  Sit and chat in a corner with her, etc., etc. 

[embgm]

I believe you about the very graphic onesies! I recently saw a picture of a great niece on my husband's side of the family with a Tee-shirt that said 'My Aunt is a B**ch". The girl wearing the T-shirt was one year old. I was shocked. Em

[ROMARY]

OMGosh.....What's wrong with (some) parents now-a-days?   I wouldn't even donate any similar baby clothing like that......Knowing myself, I'd give it back to the person who gave it to me, telling her (in a nice way, smiling, slightly apologetic) that I wouldn't dare want my child wearing that item, etc., etc.