RELATIONSHIP - Page 3

Leggett28 · ‎12-17-2011

happycat · ‎09-18-2010

We had a little bruhaha in my family, and someone did not stand up for me, and my dh pointed out, that in his opinion, their SILENCE was a form of acceptance of how I was being treated.

Maybe the folks on here telling you to keep quet are right, but I coudn't do it. I think I would explode. I'm sorry. Sometimes we just don't get treated as we should.

Leggett28 · ‎12-17-2011

You have let this go on about three years longer than I would. People only treat you the way you allow them to. Life’s too short you deserve better. You need to tell your partner how you feel.

Foxxee · ‎10-03-2014

@Calcgirl wrote:
@Foxxee wrote:

@Calcgirl

Are you the one who previously posted your partner visits his family members without you during Christmas?

"Marriage is out of the picture mainly I believe because of his three grown children."

There are other widows and widowers who get married despite some of the kids don't approve. If he loved you he would marry you.

You said, "We get along." Is he thinking this relationship is one of convenience rather than love?

"I am hesitant to do so because he will get defensive for his sons and say it was a night out with his sons."

Did he move in with you or you move in with him? If he moved in with you, he has a place to live, a caretaker, cook, and housekeeper. If that's the case, I'd kick him out.

If you moved in with him...well I'd never do that. Either we'd get married and find another place to live, or he'd never see me again.

I wouldn't put up with this.

I
Yes, I am the one. He moved in with me, but definately helps me financially and does his part. He also shares in cooking, etc, so I don't feel taken advantage of. We actually get along quite well, so I have pretty much excepted that his adult children are jerks. LOL. As some one said the two who dismiss me live out of state. The one who lives here is fine. I think it helped me write this all down here to get it off my chest( I guess I could have written it on a paper and then threw it away LOL.. I won't lose sleep over the them. By the way, I should add they are always polite and friendly when I do see them.
My sisters husband and her son both said it was just a guy thing wanting a boys night out. Men can be weird LO

@Calcgirl

"definately helps me financially."

That concerns me. He's HELPING you. How much is he helping you? Do you pay most of the expenses? If you were married, he'd be taking care of you financially. Does he write the checks or do you? The way you phrase it here, it sounds like you took in a renter. With this arrangement, he could walk out at any time, no obligations left behind.

Also, it doesn't matter whether his kids are jerks, your live in housemate allows them to control him. If he loved you, you'd be his #1 priority, not his sons. You're excusing your partners's behavior because his kids are jerks. He won't marry you because of his kids and two are jerks.

You said your "sisters' husband and son said boy's night out is a guy thing." I'm sure you know, men WILL stick up for other men. It's the typical reaction men thinking women don't know all about boy's night out.

What did your sister say about this? What about not taking you along at Christmas? What would she say if her husband spent Christmas without her? Are you accepting excuses for your housemate's behavior?

What else is he excluding you from besides Christmas and boys night out?

I'm thinking his sons don't like you because of their father's will. Are you in his will or is it all going to his sons?

I'd never marry him. As I said before, I'd kick him out.

I wish the best for you.

pieman · ‎11-21-2013

I'm sorry you are going through this, you can say what you want to this man, but it sounds to me he already knows whats going on and if he doesn't, then he just isn't worthy of you.

The kids won't accept you because they don't want to share any monies(if any) gp to you. They may not care about the old man but when the time comes, they will be there like flies on honey, to get their share,

Its disgusting what happens.

I think you may be afraid to be alone at this point in your life, but you should spend your life being happy, not a maid... If you love yourself and are happy with yourself, then you will be fine on your own...

Many gentlemen out there,,,,,

NicksmomESQ · ‎08-19-2014

He needs to side with you,period. You stood by him during some pretty bad times. His adult sons should know better. They owe you some respect & consideration.

Your partner needs to gather his kids & demand they treat you as his significant other.He should not see them without you.

And you need to value yourself by demanding better treatment.This would be a deal breaker for me.

Mimi 1883 · ‎03-15-2010

@Calcgirl First of all, glad you're feeling better!

You never mentioned how you truly feel about this man. As others have said, things won't change, and may even get worse. If you want to continue to live with someone who basically disrespects you (and your feelings,) it doesn't sound too appealing. There's nothing worse than not being able to talk to each other about something as important as family and how they exclude you and how that makes you feel. What's bad is, he doesn't seem to care about you and your feelings. That's just not how a relationship should work. No. You don't deserve to be treated this way from any of them.

If you can't talk to him at all about their treatment of you and how rude they are, then...it doesn't sound like a good relationship. Think long and hard if it's worth the stress and the fact that they will continue to exclude you.

F/N/A luvstogarden

cindyNC · ‎08-01-2019

@Calcgirl I can identify with you as I'm going thru the same thing w/BF's sons. I don't think one of them actively dislikes me as he has thanked me for taking care of his father while he's been sick........he's just been very introspective and, as a child, rarely talked to people per his father. The other son is always looking for the easiest way to make a quick buck, even if it includes not being truthful. I seriously think he has a personality disorder as his mother said he has always been this way.

I sort of wonder how these kids came from their dad who was extremely devoted to his mother, worked 3 jobs to pay child support when he divorced from their mom and did lots of activities w/them. The BF has also mentioned once how badly his sons treat their wives.

I try to blow it off also as my BF is a sweatheart. He needed a ramp built for the house when he became sick, and his coworkers paid for and built it as he has helped so many people out at work.

pigletsmom · ‎11-21-2011

I think at this stage in your life this is more about you than him. You moved in with him knowing his kids didn't like you, or at least I assume that's the case. So it comes down to what you want to tolerate. If you do decide to keep living like this you need to just ignore their stuff. If they go out without you enjoy the free time. If they are coming over go find something fun to do. No point in really talking to him about it. At least your kids are nice.