Among Friends

[Sooner]

@Calcgirl The bottom line here seems to me to be:

1. What do you get out of the relationship?

2. What do you contribute to the relationship?

3.  What are you willing to give up for the relationship?

4. What would your life be like without the relationship?

5.  Will you ever be happy/content with the relationship?

6. The negatives: How many am I willing to accept?  Do I want to stir up more negative feelings and how much of that am I willing to accept. 

Only you can answer these questions.  But I think you know the answers.

[riley1]

This post sounds very familiar like something posted maybe last year? It had the same scenario. Guess things haven't changed.

[Leggett28]

@Calcgirl  you explained it good enough for me. You seem like a very caring and loving person. Wish the best for you 🌸 

[Calcgirl]

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@Leggett28 wrote:

@Calcgirl  you explained it good enough for me. You seem like a very caring and loving person. Wish the best for you 🌸 

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Thank you

[Mom2Dogs]

@Calcgirl ...I think I understand your response for staying with your male friend.  Enjoy your time together.

[stevieb]

@Calcgirl  This pattern has been established and it isn't likely to change. That said, I think you can and maybe should mention you pretty much get it that his sons aren't accepting of you and that while you'd prefer you were all closer you get it. You might even mention that it might be nice if they were a bit more inclusive of you once in a while, but that your intent in telling him isn't to make a big deal of it as much as it's just to get it off your chest. Then, I'd drop it. Personally, I wouldn't make it about the 'guys night out' because although it sounds a little like that's an excuse to not include you, it could, ostensibly, be legitimate. Odds are if he gets defensive about his sons then he knows their behavior isn't ideal. To me, it needs to be said, but it needs to be kept low key.

[KarenQVC]

@Calcgirl 

So you are 2 friends who live together.  If that is OK, good for you.

Given this new info, I think he deserves his own family life, such as it is.

[alicedee]

@Calcgirl You explained things very well.  I understand what you are saying.  For what you want and need at this point of your life, this man is a good fit for you.

It's good you don't have to see the other kids that often, so the chances for having your feelings hurt are lower.  

Take care.  

[Lilysmom]

@SunSprite , completely agree with your post.  It is up to @Calcgirl to decide what is acceptable to her in this relationship.  It would be smart on a go forward basis to understand what, if any, financial/legal implications their cohabitation has on his rights to her property and vice versa .  This knowledge could inform future decision making.  

Wishing you the best @Calcgirl .  LM

PS @Calcgirl , just read your recent post.  It is clear to me that you have a good head on your shoulders.  I do feel, however, that you should know if this cohabitation would have any impact on title to your property and/or what affect it would have if you were to ask him to move out.  For example,   do you need to give him notice like a tenant.  I like to have my due diligence done!

[ROMARY]

I wouldn't co-mingle my finances.  Keep yours separate. 

Wishing you good luck.

Touchy subject, and I really can't give any advice right now.

I'll think about it.