@ CALCGIRL~I’m so very sorry for the lack of support for your wellbeing. I can identify to a point with how your DS is behaving. My DS is about 1&1/2 hrs from us and the only Home he’s ever known. Since he met, lived with & married his wife our relationship has slowly deteriorated. It wasn’t like that before. We were as close as could be & he was genuinely interested in our life & health. DS’s wife isn’t very family oriented; when it comes to our family. We bend over backwards for both of them. And, it hurts when we get the obligatory phone call or I have to text before him texting me~nearly every time. There are health problems all around in our family. Some life threatening & some quite anocuous. Mine are mostly orthopaedic & nuero in nature and chronic. I text my DIL, for little things, such as~I found the eyeshadow you love, on sale at QVC or, other stores. She rarely texts back. Even with just a: thanks & nice to hear from you.
@Calcgirl~ I truly feel for you. And, will keep you close at heart that things get better. Our children are our life and our legacy.
ABOUT HEALTH~GENERALLY~I tell them the truth. They aren’t young kids anymore. Both married; one made me a very happy Gran. The other doesn’t want children & we’ve accepted & respect their decision, have stopped dropping hints. But, it breaks my heart.
My DD is only 10 miles away and, helps when she can between working, managing a home, taking care of her little family as it grows. Our SIL’s family are in our area as well. We spend mostly all holidays together. Minus DS & DIL occasionally~and sometimes he’ll come alone. It’s awful to see him on his own!
Yet, he seems jealous at times that were close to our SIL’s family? It just happened naturally as we got to
know each other. There are 3 other Gbabies in my SIL’s family. Whilst I so wish we could have 4; I’m truly happy for her. Those little ones call me “Auntie” and I couldn’t be happier about that! As for my only Grandchild, I’m glad he’ll have cousins to grow up with. Without them, he’d have no cousins! An important relationship as they grow up & go from a child & through adolescence & beyond.
NOW, BACK TO HEALTH~I tell them the truth & always have. I feel it’s important to know their mom or, dad are human beings and can have health problems. There are some other things I keep private but, health? Always have told them the truth & always will. I don’t embellish. But, they know what’s going on, they’re not little children anymore.
To me it’s deceptive to a point, if we don’t keep our children knowledgeable. They don’t need protection on such issues, what they need is knowledge!
I want my children to know my health issues and,what I might want in terms of “living will” wishes. Of course DH does as, I know his wishes.
Maybe it’s because I’m in the medical profession or possibly our Catholic faith but; we believe nothing is taboo. We have always had an open door policy when it comes to news about or severity of any health issue, whether in the news or specific to us. I firmly believe that knoweledge is power! And, it’s also insurance. Insurance that my adult children will know what to do. They won’t be left to make some of the hardest decisions they may ever make without direction from us.
Living transparently is easy because, you don’t have to remember who you told what to!!!
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