Personal rant - Page 10

Georgiagrama · ‎03-19-2010

You only need to worry about something to "take the edge off" when you are the one who is hurting someones feelings.

You aren't and you have every reason to be hurt by your friends remark. Maybe SHE is the one who needs something.

I'm older than you and believe me, the one good thing about getting old is that if you keep moving, you can leave people like this on the path and find happiness elsewhere.

Life is too short. Don't let negative remarks or people steal your joy. I am sure that you are a lovely woman with a beautiful heart and a gentle soul. Give your friend time to realize what she has done and if she doesn't, it's her loss. Hugs to you.

TX-starlight · ‎03-10-2010

**UPDATE** Well, well she apologized tonight, her last msg was dated April (here is is Aug). She still doesn't seem to think she said anything wrong. This was my response tonight: "I'm not going to say it's ok, cuz it's not. It was rude & uncalled for. I would never in a million yrs. say anything so rude to anyone. It would be the same as saying to anyone who smokes, how do they not have cancer".

Then she sends a msg saying "there must be an underlying problem for my feelings". I had no reply & don't intend to answer. I'm done.

bridal_diva · ‎10-16-2011

I can appreciate what all of you are feeling and saying in this thread. I am there myself more often than I want to be. But I also think that it isn't so much about crabbiness or intolerance, and more of a realization that we do not give ourselves permission to really speak our minds out of reluctance to hurt someone's feelings. That was how I was brought up - the golden rule, etc.

But it's also being tired of some others taking advantage of me has taught me it is time to say "no" if that is how I feel.

I have a long time friend that is so "political" to the point of telling me I don't know what I am talking about, just because I don't agree with her. So I have made it very clear that politics is off the table for us from now on, and if that is unacceptable to her, don't bother to call me.

I think we all get tired of the inner battle of being and feeling used. Life is not really about a popularity contest, it's all about being that person who is also true to her own feelings as well.

I know who I am, especially as I age- the freedom is there to be me.

qualitygal · ‎10-04-2010

@denisemb, Your posted words made me LOL. Could be true. LOL

Skyegirl21 · ‎03-20-2010

Two cents:

- It is very hard to make friends as we age, so treat the ones you have with care.

- While maybe her words about your weight and health sounded hurtful to you, was she just trying to get through to you to care better about yourself?

I know several people who take poor care of themselves and it’s obvious what they should be doing differently (but don’t) and as friends we see the ill effects, so we try to influence them to do better. Sometimes it doesn’t work but it is well- intended.

emmysmom · ‎06-22-2010

@TX-starlight wrote:
**UPDATE** Well, well she apologized tonight, her last msg was dated April (here is is Aug). She still doesn't seem to think she said anything wrong. This was my response tonight: "I'm not going to say it's ok, cuz it's not. It was rude & uncalled for. I would never in a million yrs. say anything so rude to anyone. It would be the same as saying to anyone who smokes, how do they not have cancer".

Then she sends a msg saying "there must be an underlying problem for my feelings". I had no reply & don't intend to answer. I'm done.

Users will never change..you did the right thing IMO..life is too short to put up w/toxic people...I'm in my 60's..just recently realized this!!! In other words...my well has gone dry!!

Don't cry for a man who's left you--the next one may fall for your smile.
-- Mae West

TX-starlight · ‎03-10-2010

**UPDATE #2** Since posting the last update, I have learned my "friend" has pancreactic cancer. I feel bad that this whole mess has happened. I have since wished her well, & praying for her. This lady has already had breast cancer 2x, & now this.

I am letting it go.

lovesrecess · ‎03-14-2010

Anyone who makes unprovoked crude or nasty remarks is precisely the type of person we shouldn't be including on our lives; when I was working, of course there were co-workers I could not simply cut out of my life due to having to work with them...but now that I am retired, I am well able to pick and choose who I want to spend my time with....very liberating! Thank goodness for caller ID! Sometimes I just don't answer...what a relief I don't have to spend time trying to hang up while they are still talking. I have actually left a supermarket when I saw someone I knew would follow me around with their life story if they saw me there...am I the only one who has ever done this?

Jackhound Mom · ‎03-09-2010

@TX-starlightIt feels like you are writing my story! I will write more later. Don't beat yourself up and don't take any c-r-a-p! You don't deserve it!!!

Cathy

TX-starlight · ‎03-10-2010

@Jackhound Mom Be sure to read my last update. I feel kinda bad now, but I have let it go, since her health issues. However, I did blow up at another friend this wk. Honestly, I feel I am needing medication. I'm so irritable, I almost can't stand myself.

The last issue has to do with politics. Long story, & I still stand my ground on that. I feel bad on this also, since this is a very long time friend. But I had enough of her baiting people with political statements. I said what I thought of it, & now she is mad. I should have kept my mouth shut,lol..