Ouch - Page 3

Venezia · ‎03-09-2010

@Puzzle Piece - Sorry this happened to you. No matter what the reason, no one should be treated like that.

In my case, a few years ago, a friend I'd known from childhood and I were having lunch, which we usually did every couple of weeks.

From out of nowhere, the subject of religion came up and she went ballistic. I won't go into the specifics, but I tried to say that you can't condemn an entire large population of the world based on some extremists.

Her words were that she could because "I AM A CHRISTIAN!" Her emphasis, not mine. With which she got up, walked away, turned back and shouted "And don't phone me!"

(Our poor waitress asked me if she'd done something wrong. I said no and told her what it was about. She said "But she wouldn't end the friendship over that, would she?")

Apparently she would. I have never phoned her and never will. Some things, as others have said, cross the line and there's no going back. But I often wonder, if she knows how hypocritical she sounded.

Only you can decide whether this acquaintance is worth keeping in touch with.

I hope you feel better and realize it's not your fault.

"" A little learning is a dangerous thing."-Alexander Pope

Effie54 · ‎09-08-2010

I'm wondering what the initial conversation (the one she went back months) was about in the first place? Did you have any sort of disagreement? I question if it's about her current stress or about a past conversation that she resents. It does happen where someone just goes off the deep end for no reason, but sometimes it's about a conversation where they didn't really get past and it just resurfaced. For me, I wouldn't contact her again. Not unless you really want this friendship.

vermint · ‎04-05-2010

@Puzzle Piece Please forgive her---forgiveness is for you, not her, because it will eat you up if you don't forgive. Then let it go. If she wants to contact you again, that'll be up to her.

Edited to add: You don't have to TELL her you forgive her, unless she contacts you and you want to. Again, the forgiveness is for you.

Mom2Dogs · ‎03-09-2010

@ThinkingOutLoud What you say is true, she can forgive her friend but also cut ties with her.

wagirl · ‎03-09-2010

WOW??!!! I'd leave them be. And you say they are an aquaintance and not a friend or family member--big difference there. I can very much relate to the stress of having to decide to end the life of a cat---I just went thru that myself a couple weeks ago and it is heart wrenching....BUT I would never take that out on anybody ever!!! Yep--leave them alone--you did nothing except be there when they unleashed on you.

qualitygal · ‎10-04-2010

Allow them some grace, it sounds like they are going through a really rough time and I'd guess even heart-breaking time. They say time heals all wounds, everyone is different. But after they heal, they'll probably call you and apologize, unless they are very embarrassed by their attitude. Just let it pass. Say, it was good while it lasted. Life sends some real duzzies to get over. Allow time. JMHO.

lynnie61 · ‎04-28-2010

@Puzzle Piece How sad. I would let it be. An acquaintance? If it was not a good friend, or life long relationship, I would walk away. Yes, losing pets are stressful, but grief can do odd things to people. To me, probably not worth it for ME to continue that relationship.

I have tons of acquaintances, but my true, great friends are under 5, and I feel blessed to have those 5. Two of those five have passed on.

KBEANS · ‎06-08-2020

Acquaintance- a person one knows slightly, but who is not a close friend.

The key word here is slightly. If she truly is just an acquaintance leave it as it ended.

I consider neighbors acquaintances. If one of them said this to me, I'd never look her way again as she requested.

LizzieInSRQ · ‎12-27-2010

If someone literally said to me that they never wanted to speak to me again...id make it very easy for that to be so. I believe them.

I refuse to chase down people hoping it was a regretful statement on their part. It would be up to them to contact me. i may not answer that call.

No way do I want to risk rejection a second time and yeah,sometimes that call may never come. I grieve and move on.

Im sorry that happened to you. Grief can change people. I understand that and get out of the way.

LizzieInSRQ · ‎12-27-2010

@ThinkingOutLoud wrote:
@Puzzle Piece wrote:
To forgive or not to forgive. To overlook or not.

Had a conversation with an acquaintnce. They are going through a stressful time. As they are a cat lover, one of the cats is probably going to be euthanized this week and the person is greatly bothered by the whole ordeal.
My aqaintance took out their frustration on me and went back weeks/months of words we spoke and told me they didn't want to ever speak to me again. ????? Ouch. I was not expecting this outburst as I am not to blame for the ordeals they have gone through in life.

Would you just lick your wounds and let this go or would you try to contact them in the fututre to see if they are doing any better?
Always forgive. (this does not mean you put yourself in a position to be hurt over and over again)

It never hurts to extend a kindness. Sending a note later this month might soften their heart (ie sorry for your circumstances, hope things look up soon). Even if nothing comes of it, you being the bigger person matters.

Sorry this happened. I'm sure it's just their excess stress at play.