Not Invited - Page 8

Lipstickdiva · ‎03-10-2010

@Sooner wrote:
@Moretofollow wrote:
@Sooner wrote:
So kids should be "forced" to invite all of mom's friends to their wedding? Hmmm. I never realized that. I didn't realize it was the mothers' event. I thought it was the couple's deal. See how out of touch I am? LOL!!!
Who is paying for the wedding? If the kids are self sufficient and pay for it themselves, then yes, it is their event and they can invite anyone they want and diss anyone they want.
It doesn't matter who is paying for the wedding. It is the bride and groom's event and they should be able to invite who they want. If the people don't like it they can not pay for it, but writing the check shouldn't make it their call.

This how I feel as well. My mom paid for most of our wedding and my now DH's parents paid for a small portion. Neither of them had the attitude that THEY could invite who THEY wanted because they were paying for it.

It was OUR wedding and they didn't force guests on us. I cannot imagine having that attitude with my child.

colliegirls · ‎05-13-2012

@Lipstickdiva wrote:
@Sooner wrote:
@Moretofollow wrote:
@Sooner wrote:
So kids should be "forced" to invite all of mom's friends to their wedding? Hmmm. I never realized that. I didn't realize it was the mothers' event. I thought it was the couple's deal. See how out of touch I am? LOL!!!
Who is paying for the wedding? If the kids are self sufficient and pay for it themselves, then yes, it is their event and they can invite anyone they want and diss anyone they want.
It doesn't matter who is paying for the wedding. It is the bride and groom's event and they should be able to invite who they want. If the people don't like it they can not pay for it, but writing the check shouldn't make it their call.
This how I feel as well. My mom paid for most of our wedding and my now DH's parents paid for a small portion. Neither of them had the attitude that THEY could invite who THEY wanted because they were paying for it.

It was OUR wedding and they didn't force guests on us. I cannot imagine having that attitude with my child.

Usually both the bride and the grooms side make their guest list. I would assume good friends are on that list. Cutting occurs as needed. When cuts need to be made, each side should decide who will be kept and who could be taken off the list, NOT the bride or groom since they are not necessarily the ones close to the friends of the parents. Enjoying the weddings of our children with our dearest friends, if cost allows, is important to many parents. The smaller the family, the more important the friends. We are closer to some friends than we are family.

Lipstickdiva · ‎03-10-2010

I disagree with that. Again, our parents wanted US to have at OUR wedding those who were important to us, not them.

on the bay · ‎03-09-2010

The thought or desire to invite my friends would never have occured to me. I wanted my kids to have people that they loved and cared about.

And really, if we have children, we hopefully got to have the people who were important to us at our wedding.

Weddings to me are supposed to be a beautiful day for the bride and groom to celebrate with their loved ones and close friends, not to have to invite all their parents "close" friends, who they might not be close to themselves.

"If you walk the footsteps of a stranger, you'll learn things you never knew. Can you sing with all the voices of the mountains? can you paint with all the colors of the wind?"

colliegirls · ‎05-13-2012

A caring son or daughter already knows who their parents are close to and would want invited. (depending on the size and cost determined) If the couple does not care about their parents, only about themselves, perhaps they should be married at a frat party.

esmerelda · ‎03-10-2010

Then on the other hand....I have an invite to my niece's son's wedding. I love my niece. But I can't remember the last time I talked to her son and I've never met his fiancé.

I won't be going.

*********************
Keepin' it real.

on the bay · ‎03-09-2010

It is amazing the different viewpoints.

When reading about @colliegirls thoughts re a "frat party"

even before you wrote that I was thinking that if a couple has to invite people that are close to their parents but not especially to them, it just becomes a big party, not a meaningful wedding celebration for the bride and groom.

And as a parent, the best thing ever is just to be celebrating with the bride and groom. I wouldn't need friends to be there to celebrate with me that had no close connection to my kids. Then it becomes my party, not a wedding to me.

Its totally different though if the friend of the parents has been in their kids life all along. And you would think if a person was that close to the parents, they would certainly be at least a little close to the child.

I wonder if these strong thoughts about this have to do with how we were all brought up with our own families.

"If you walk the footsteps of a stranger, you'll learn things you never knew. Can you sing with all the voices of the mountains? can you paint with all the colors of the wind?"

stargazergal · ‎02-18-2016

@Momofdogs wrote:
Should I be upset if a close friend I've known for over 30 yrs didn't invite me to her sons wedding ?

Is it a big wedding, small wedding , close by wedding, far away wedding? Are you close with her son and the bride to be? Did she not invite you? Or did her son and the bride not invite you....?

Tinkrbl44 · ‎08-23-2010

@on the bay wrote:
It is amazing the different viewpoints.

When reading about @colliegirls thoughts re a "frat party"

even before you wrote that I was thinking that if a couple has to invite people that are close to their parents but not especially to them, it just becomes a big party, not a meaningful wedding celebration for the bride and groom.

And as a parent, the best thing ever is just to be celebrating with the bride and groom. I wouldn't need friends to be there to celebrate with me that had no close connection to my kids. Then it becomes my party, not a wedding to me.

Its totally different though if the friend of the parents has been in their kids life all along. And you would think if a person was that close to the parents, they would certainly be at least a little close to the child.

I wonder if these strong thoughts about this have to do with how we were all brought up with our own families.

Bingo!!! I'm surprised by the number of people who feel they are entitled to be invited ..... the bottom line, it's the bride and groom's wedding, they should have it THEIR way, and people shouldn't try to elbow their way in.

tedEbear · ‎03-22-2015

When DH and I were married, there were just a few people we wanted. My Parents were paying for the wedding and they had DH's parents give them a list of who they wanted to invite and invites were sent to EVERYONE. The ones that were MOST important to DH and I were US and we are both still there. Still there 52yrs later. My folks wanted a party to celebrate and that's what they had. They paid for it and they wanted it nice for us and everyone else. Somewhere between 200-300 people for both families. Church reception and party at home, just one of those basic 50s quick builds for service men.

Today it is usually the B & G paying for wedding they want. They usually have jobs and are older than I was.

I was a wedding co-ordinater/planner for a venue and found most weddings ran 15,000-25,000 for 150 people. THAT is JUST PLAIN STUPID!!!!!!!!!!!!. This is my opinion and I am sticking to it!!!---------tedEbear