Not Invited - Page 7

Tinkrbl44 · ‎08-23-2010

@Moretofollow wrote:
@chickenbutt wrote:
I don't see anything unusual about it. Wouldn't the kids invite who THEY want to invite? Anything beyond that is just a gift grab, IMO.

I wouldn't take that against your friend, the parent. It's the kids' wedding, not theirs.
Nothing unusual about it? I watched my best friend's kids when she had to put in extra hours at work and never once declined her request to do so, even when I had made other plans. I never missed one single birthday of either child and got them a really special gift when they turned 16. Because that's what friends do for one another and their children. So far one child got married and yes I was invited, I would have been very upset if I hadn't been.

Wow, I can see that you feel very entitled to have been invited! If you hadn't been, would you have demanded an invitation?

Sorry, but if the bride's family is paying for the wedding, there is a budget. Actually, there's always a budget. It's not always desireable to "invite everybody" to a casual home wedding; perhaps the home just won't accomodate a crowd.

Or perhaps the bride wants something really special ... and small. It's her wedding, and she can invite (or not invite) anyone she pleases.

KarenQVC · ‎05-13-2010

To me a wedding is a family/friend event, not a Bridezilla event. A nice wedding can be held at a church or hall for not much $---cake and punch. If I am not invited to a wedding, I do not attend other events for the wedding/baby showers, etc. Once I got blackmailed into a destination wedding and the next thing I heard was a plea from the sister of the bride to pay for her charity run. Yes, I was put onto a sucker list.

lulu2 · ‎03-09-2010

I've sometimes wondered why we were invited to a wedding. I've never wondered why not?

If the OP is so upset, ask your dear friend why you were not invited. Maybe your invitation was lost in the mail.

Group 5 minus 1 · ‎03-11-2010

It's not her wedding. Were you ever close to the bride and groom?

Lovingq · ‎03-09-2010

@Sooner wrote:
So kids should be "forced" to invite all of mom's friends to their wedding? Hmmm. I never realized that. I didn't realize it was the mothers' event. I thought it was the couple's deal. See how out of touch I am? LOL!!!

Who is paying for the wedding? If the kids are self sufficient and pay for it themselves, then yes, it is their event and they can invite anyone they want and diss anyone they want.

Suziepeach · ‎03-10-2010

We have been neighbors/friends for over 20yrs... we've known the kids', adults now, since they were itty bitty, one wasn't even born yet. After they got older, we were very involved with both of their lives, school functions & all... you might say we are considered adoptive grandparents.. we're even close to the son's finace' & when they got engaged they came over to tell us and show us her ring and their baby, Duke the dog.. I knew we'd be included in their wedding plans, no questions asked. The mom always has us sit with her family.. Had we not been included in the upcoming wedding in May, I'd of asked why and not hesitated.. but that's just me.

Go VOLS
Rocky Top you'll always be home sweet home to me.. Good ole Rocky Top, Rocky Top Tennessee... Rocky Top Tennessee

Sooner · ‎03-10-2010

@Moretofollow wrote:
@Sooner wrote:
So kids should be "forced" to invite all of mom's friends to their wedding? Hmmm. I never realized that. I didn't realize it was the mothers' event. I thought it was the couple's deal. See how out of touch I am? LOL!!!
Who is paying for the wedding? If the kids are self sufficient and pay for it themselves, then yes, it is their event and they can invite anyone they want and diss anyone they want.

It doesn't matter who is paying for the wedding. It is the bride and groom's event and they should be able to invite who they want. If the people don't like it they can not pay for it, but writing the check shouldn't make it their call.

Susan in California · ‎06-02-2014

How you feel is honest, and it is understandable. But weddings can be strange when it comes to the guest list. The couple may have so many people to invite from their own list of friends that a lot of the old friends of the parents were overlooked? Another scenario could be that both sides have large extended families, and the guest list is limited. I do like the suggestion of sending a lovely card to the couple after the wedding.

We had an experience several years ago that was the opposite. A former neighbor (who had been a very lovely friend when she and her family lived next door) invited us to her daughter's wedding in a town almost 5 hours from here. She gave me the impression it would be a small affair. We had stayed in touch over the years since they had moved. But the wedding turned out to be very large, and we knew only the bride and her family. We were sitting at a table with strangers who only knew the bride's mother slightly. Overall, the wedding was full of co-workers of the parents or acquaintances. Our older son even said "why are we here?"

So weddings can be interesting to say the least.

Lipstickdiva · ‎03-10-2010

@Moretofollow wrote:
@Deb1010yetagain wrote:
Don't take it personally. It's a decision based on cost and certain cut offs had to be made. Be gracious and don't let it ruin your friendship.
People need to downsize - change the venue - and live within their means so everyone can be invited. I'm always shocked how some rationalize their abhorrent behavior dissing people they supposedly care about and then wonder why those that they have offended want nothing more to do with you.

This doesn't make sense to me. You think people should downsize and live within their means but yet you think the venue should be changed so everyone can be invited?

Perhaps the reason everyone isn't invited is because they downsized to have a wedding within their budget.

When I got married, I didn't invite all of my mother's friends, regardless of how long they were friends. I invited people who I was close to and who had a part in my life as I grew up. Yes some were her friends, which were our neighbors but her friends weren't necessarily close to me. Why would I invite people for the sake of inviting them?

Lipstickdiva · ‎03-10-2010

@KarenQVC wrote:
To me a wedding is a family/friend event, not a Bridezilla event. A nice wedding can be held at a church or hall for not much $---cake and punch. If I am not invited to a wedding, I do not attend other events for the wedding/baby showers, etc. Once I got blackmailed into a destination wedding and the next thing I heard was a plea from the sister of the bride to pay for her charity run. Yes, I was put onto a sucker list.

If the bride wanted to include absolutely everyone, then she'd be accused of having nothing more than a gift grab.

A wedding is something to be enjoyed by the couple, family and close friends. Not everyone and their brother needs to be nor should be invited.

If you read the OP's post later on, it doesn't sound to me like they are really that close of friends, unless she left a lot out. She said there are 5 of them that get together for things like birthdays, etc. It doesn't sound as if she was a huge part of the kids' life and it doesn't sound like she and the mother are all that close, just that they've known each other a long time.