Among Friends

[willowbark]

Overview of Widowhood Statistics

General Statistics

• In the U.S., there are approximately 11.8 million widows.
• The average age of widowhood is around 59 years.
• Each year, about 700,000 women become widows, with many facing significant financial challenges.

Age and Gender

• A third of women who become widowed are younger than 60.
• Half of all women will become widowed by age 65.
• The median age for women becoming widows in their first marriage is 59.4 years.

Financial Impact

• After the death of a spouse, household income typically declines by about 40%.
• Approximately 51% of widowed women aged 65 and older live on less than $22,000 a year.
• Many widows experience a loss of contact with friends and family, with 75% reporting this issue.

Global Context

• Worldwide, there are over 245 million widows, with many living in poverty.
• In developing countries, conditions for widows can be particularly severe, with limited access to education and financial resources.

Health and Well-being

• The death of a spouse is considered the #1 stressor on the Holmes and Rahe Stress Scale, often leading to serious health issues for the surviving spouse.
• The widowhood effect indicates an increased mortality risk for widows, especially in the first few months after their spouse's death.

These statistics highlight the significant emotional, social, and financial challenges faced by widows, emphasizing the need for support and resources.

Please take care everyone.  

[willowbark]

To add insult to emotional injury was my new tax filing category.  After 30 years filing married jointly, I am now in the higher Single category.  

Yet in my head...in my mind,  I am still married.

I will never date. I will never kiss another. Not interested and I find it revolting thinking about it. 

My penalty drum roll.....is paying higher taxes.  

[BunSnoop]

@willowbark , thank you for the information.  I became a widow this year at age 66 - hubby was 69.  Life is very different and often very difficult.  I've been so thankful I have been able to "talk" to so many of you on this forum as it has helped me so greatly when I'm feeling so alone.

When I cry I have no one here to hug, hold me, or comfort me.  I'm sure many of you feel the same.  Sending a hug to each of you.

[willowbark]

@BunSnoop  I understand you completely. Your emotions are still raw,  it's been 3-1/2 years since I became a widow and while it's a little bit easier I still cry everyday.  I still second guess every decision we made about  the doctors and all the what if's, that continue to swirl in my head.  It's very hard and everytime I read some article about new cures for various maladies that perhaps could have benefited my husband, I just want to scream.    

[TeddysMom]

I totally get it.  I became a widow 2 years ago and have found that the 2 things most troublesome for me is the change in my tax status and the change in my marital status.

Not only did I go from Married Filing Jointly to Single but I had a small business that I had to close during the last stages of my husband's illness.  I no longer have the deductions that afforded me. And the double whammy was going to Single too.

Also, I am now single, certainly not wanting to date or anything of the sort but all my friends are still couples and I find I am not included anymore.  It's like both of us died.  I will readily admit I was blissfully unaware of this fact while I was married and probably guilty of not including others but I really had no idea how it would impact me socially after he died.  I am now much more aware of those left out.

[willowbark]

@BunSnoop get this. I have an out of state cousin and because I am not on board with her ideology she sent me no condolence card, no flowers and never came over to hug me. A cousin who I have known all of my life who showered my mother with flowers and condolences when my dad got sick and passed yet my parents had (they're both gone now) the same ideology as me. Makes me so mad it consumes the hurt. 

[UpNorthGorgy]

I wonder if alot of these statistics don't apply also to a divorced female who is in a similar loss predicament? Socializing is changed as no longer a couple.

I've been alone 23 years. My husband was never  really happy and had an affair. I went into a deep depression. I was married 20 years. I raised his two daughters full time. No children.  I lost my job in 2008 a year after the divorce and barely paid my bills, working minimum wage jobs and substitute teaching. He is on his fourth marriage.

I have a acquaintance who after 32 years of marriage. divorced her husband. She was a retired .P. Assistant. I knew her husband  and he told me she pushed him away and he couldn't make her happy? 

Over the ages in history  widows have struggled and carried on, sometimes with  many children to raise. Women tend to outlive men, so not surprising. So glad there were loving memorable years for  those of you widows and widowers to cherish. It breaks the heart ❤️ and never heals.

[Desertdi]

Everyone "thinks" I got a HUGE BUNDLE OF DOUGH from "life insuranace".      There wasn't any...

[willowbark]

@UpNorthGorgy yes, your situation is similar and I've been told that divorce can feel like a death.  

[TeddysMom]

If it helps at all, I have gone through the same thing.  I have no extended family.  My Mom, Dad and brother have long since died.  We did have family though for all the years I was married (58) through my husband.  A large extended family that I thought was mine too.  When my husband died I got...wait for it...crickets.  Nothing, nada, nicht.  No cards, flowers, visits, phone calls.  Total silence.  Since then I have been invited to a couple of very large gatherings where I suspect it was necessary to include me.  Other than that I could have fallen off the earth and they wouldn't know or care.  Who does that??  How can you just dismiss someone you've known for all those years as if they never existed?