@CAcableGirl2 wrote:
First things that come to mind are:
1. Get to the bank and take at least 50% of what is in there since 1/2 would be your fair share - get there before he takes all of it. KEEP RECORDS of what is in each account, and what you take out.
2. Check and see if your vehicles are owned by, if it's "or", or "and". If they state Mrs. OR Mr., then he could sell your vehicles without your permission.
3. Check and see who the utilities have on the accounts. If only him, he could have them shut off without your knowledge.
4. Figure out your credit cards. Not sure exactly what you need to do, possibly close so he and his new "girlfriend" doesn't charge a bunch and leave you with the bill (or 1/2 of it).
5. Make sure he doesn't have the checkbook - you don't want him writing checks all over town that you'll be 50% responsible for.
6. Have a consultation with EVERY great lawyer in town. That way, they will not be able to represent him, since they have a history or background on you. He will have to hire an attorney that you haven't had any consultations with.
7. I would immediately stop any extra money going into your 401K. No sense in handing more money over to him later on.
8. Get all financial records that you can find and keep them in a safe place that he can't access. Tax records, retirement accounts, bank account information, etc... Anything you can think of that he could have money stashed.
9. And last but not least, DON'T SHARE INFORMATION WITH HIM. And don't fall for the "I want to get back together" line that he might try to get more info. I have a friend who's wife left and then she crawled back only to have a place to stay for a few months. Once she found her new place, she actually told him that she had no intention of getting back together - she only needed a place to stay temporarily!
10. Oh, and make sure he doesn't have access to all your email, personal, financial accounts - change the passwords immediately.
Best of luck to her, she might not realize it, but he may have done her a favor in the long run, instead of waiting until she is older, or sick. Prayers for your sister - she will be OK and be stronger once this is over - the best is yet to come!
Make an appointment with an attorney right away!
@CAcableGirl2- these are all excellent.
When I was reading the original post the first things I thought of were the checking and savings accounts and credit cards. Hopefully she’s already taken care of those.
I definitely agree wbout stopping contributions to the 401k, at least for now. Cashing the 401k does nothing.
Why is it, when I have a 50/50 guess at something, I'm always 100% wrong?
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