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Honored Contributor
Posts: 17,892
Registered: ‎07-03-2013

Re: Just got a call from my friend......

I agree both parents should have been invited instead of the girlfriend and one parent.  I assume the parents gave the money freely.  If the money is brought into the conversation, it could put the spin on it that there were strings attached to the money.  The parents shouldn't talk with their son until they take a few days to calm down.  I would say something like your mother and I (or viseversa) are disappointed we won't be able to attend your graduation.  We looked forward to hearing your name called, etc.  However we feel that we have equally supported you in your academic journey and there is no good way to decide which one attends.  So we have decided to not use the ticket.  Let him take the conversation from there.

 

 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 32,009
Registered: ‎05-10-2010

Re: Just got a call from my friend......

I agree with you, he's doing an awful thing and I would be devastated if I was your friend.  He's selfish young man but my guess is the girlfriend made that decision for him and he's getting something from her that he cannot get from Mom and Dad.  Shame on him.  If my kid did that to me, neither my husband nor I would go.  I'd make clear to him that his dad and I BOTH put him through school so if we couldn't BOTH be at the graduation, neither of us would be there.  And there would be no graduation present!

Honored Contributor
Posts: 8,107
Registered: ‎03-17-2010

Re: Just got a call from my friend......

This would hurt like h@ll....!!

 

"Dear son..... do you really want Dad and I to fight over who gets to go to your graduation?  Really??"  

 

 

*~"Never eat more than you can lift......" Miss Piggy~*
Super Contributor
Posts: 422
Registered: ‎02-02-2016

Re: Just got a call from my friend......

[ Edited ]

This makes no sense to me, something just seems really off..Why would he send this via email and secondly most schools have students with parents for whatever the reason are unable to attend..could be due to illness..could be because they live out of the country...is this really just a girlfriend or are they secretly married? Please don't laugh my husband and I eloped my junior year...my parents were the only one who knew.

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,645
Registered: ‎08-28-2010

Re: Just got a call from my friend......

[ Edited ]

Too bad that this has happened.  I don't think your friend should try to guilt him into changing his mind by throwing up the "look at everything we've done for you" bit or take back the car.  As parents, you friend and her husband did those things because they love their son, not because they were looking for something in return.  Sometime people think they have made a rational decision and often don't realize that there will hurt feeling.

 

I think your friend or her husband should ask their son if he can ask around and see if there is anyone who is not going to use both of their ticket.  In any event, your friend or husband should let the son know that there are hurt feelings and the reason why. One of them should attend the ceremony and not sit at home and be angry.

 

edited to add

 

The conversation should be done over the phone if not in person.  The son was a coward to send an email with this type of information.

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,407
Registered: ‎07-07-2010

Re: Just got a call from my friend......

Would any of us want him, an immature and insensitive young man, to be our doctor?  I would not.

The next time that I hear salt and ice together, it better be in a margarita!
Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 7,721
Registered: ‎11-15-2011

Re: Just got a call from my friend......

[ Edited ]

If he is smart enough to be a Doctor, he should be smart enough to get one of another graduates tickets.  Everybody graduating, unfortunately, so not have "parents" to attend.  It is usually possible to obtain a ticket.  My SIL gave one of his away to a close friend.  They are allowed 2 but anyone can use those 2.

 

If the girlfriend has worked and helped put him through school she would deserve a ticket.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 18,415
Registered: ‎11-25-2011

Re: Just got a call from my friend......

Could the son be inviting the GF & using the graduation

as an 'ask-her-to-marry-me' moment?

 

If there's no other way to get another ticket,

I would lay the responsibility on the shoulders of the son

as to who will witness this important moment. 

Let HIM make that decision who to invite. 

Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,915
Registered: ‎06-24-2011

Re: Just got a call from my friend......

I agree with your friend and you too. I am a mother of two sons and if that would have happened to my dh and myself I'd be very upset. Like someone else said, parents are forever and girlfriends come and go. The son needs to get his priorities in order. It's a sad situation.

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 7,652
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Just got a call from my friend......

@NicksmomESQ, there are always spare tickets.  I am surprised the son doesn't know that.  Almost makes me wonder if something else is going on.  Anyway, the girlfriend is in for trouble if she doesn't step aside.  The parents will never forget this one.

 

DH and I helped my niece financially a great deal through law school.  She insisted we join her parents while her boyfriend watched through remote tv.  We offered to give him our seat but she wouldn't hear of it.  

 

I don't think I would do anything if I were in the parents' shoes.  The son's actions are just awful.  Their silence speaks volumes IMO.  LM

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