Issue With Neighbor - Suggestions Please

BunSnoop · ‎05-22-2010

Approximately 2 weeks before my husband passed away we had 2 holes in our 6 foot white vinyl fence and a hard ball found in our lawn. I asked my husband what he wanted to do about it. He said prior to putting up the fence he had spoken to the woman that lived there in the yard behind us. He said she was very nice and had given him vegies from their vegetable garden, etc. He decided to just have the fence repaired and he hoped it would not happen again. We had it repaired - it cost $100.

When I came home on Easter, I found another hole in the fence. I walked around the block to the neighbors house and spoke to the husband. I told him what had happened and he said he would be over the next day to pay for both repairs.

He did come to our house the next day with the money. I told him I do not want the money - what I want instead is a promise it will not continue to happen. He said his boys and their friends play lacrosse and it involves hitting a hard ball. He said he had "a good talking" with his sons, but he cannot promise that it won't happen again. He said they may play when he's not home. He insisted that I take the money! He also said he was sorry for the loss of my husband and offered to help me if I needed anything.

I was outside yesterday and now I have 1 more hole. The estimate for this repair is $150. I peaked in the hole and saw one of the son's in the yard. I spoke to the son and he said it was not him - he has not been playing for several days. He said it must of been a friend. I told him then to please tell his friends not to do it again as I then need to go to his father and have him pay me again. He said - "yes ma'am - have a good day"!

So far, the cost was $100 for the 1st repair and I have a $150 estimate for the upcoming repair. The man paid me $200. What should I be doing? I've been taking pictures of each hole and also have the ball. Should I continue dealing with the parents each time? I have so many other things going on with the loss of my husband and I'm at a lost as what to do about this. Should I continue dealing with the parents, should I contact the police, etc.?

Any suggestions would be appreciated. Thank you!

lgfan · ‎10-19-2012

Maybe you should change the vinyl fence to something sturdier like brick or cement. It doesn't seem like the neighbors are going to change so I would change the fence.

Ladyrain · ‎11-10-2011

This is beyond frustrating. The parensts know what is happening and are still doing nothing to stop it. What kind of lesson does that teach the children? That they can basically do whatever they want, everyone else be damned. I'm sorry you're dealing with this, and I am so sorry for the loss of your husband. You surely don't need this on top of everything else. -------- I agree that a brick barricade should be built BUT it should be built and paid for by the neightbors - on THEIR side of your fence. That way when balls are whacked in that direction, the brick barricade on THEIR side should stop any further damage to your fence. However, I don't know how receptive this family would be to that. They seem more comfortable throwing money at the problem and letting you deal with the details.

tends2dogs · ‎05-08-2010

First off, @BunSnoop , I am sorry for the loss of your husband. I don't know if you mentioned it on here. If so, I failed to see it. Again, my condolences.

About the fence. This is a sticky situation. I can see where it would be a hassle to deal with especially with all you are dealing with right now. I always try to find something good in any situation and I what I see good about this is that your neighbors are admitting there is a problem. They are offering to rectify it, or at the very least keep paying to fix the problem. The kids seem polite and their dad has offered to help you if you need it. I see all these as positive. Would I call the police? Not being there and seeing the damage, I am not sure.

If I lived alone and felt I may need the help of this neighbor or his boys, probably not. As long as he keeps paying for the repairs, I would let it ride for now.

I will be anxious to see what others say about this.

Take care of yourself. I know you don't need this added to your life right now.

Fear not Brothers and Sisters! I have read THE BOOK..........we win!!!

RespectLife · ‎02-27-2012

Gosh @BunSnoop

The last thing you need is to have this to deal with. I'm so sorry.

You can ask the neighbors to put up a fence on their side, but you can't make them.

I know how much vinyl fencing costs.....replacing it w/ brick or concrete? That would be a huge expensive you shouldn't have to pay!! I highly doubt they would pay for it either.

No crime has been committed by these boys unless you have witnessed them whipping the ball intentionally at your fence to cause harm. There isn't anything the Police can do criminally. They can, however, maybe talk to them.

I know if the Blue came to my door, I might be more proactive in solving the problem! I'd let the boys know they can NO longer play in our yard because of damage done to you. Go elsewhere.

shy bobcat · ‎04-24-2010

I am sorry this is happening to you. What a frustration!

I would probably advise the family each time your fence is damaged. Hopefully, the neighbor will get tired of paying for fence repairs and insist the boys stop playing this sport in their backyard.

Hoovermom · ‎03-19-2010

@BunSnoop: With all the things going in your life right now, especially the passing of your DH, I don't think you should even consider replacing your fence. It's your neighbor's responsibility to ensure that your property is not damaged. I would keep letting him know when holes appear in your fence. He needs to replace/repaired anything that has to be replaced/repaired no matter what it costs. Maybe you should get it repaired before telling him the cost. I am so sorry for the loss of your DH.

skatting44 · ‎07-26-2019

So far it appears the Father is receptive and actually gave you some money, albeit the amount did not cover the entire bill. Are all the holes in the same section of fence ?

I'd talk with the parents and ask they put up a wall in their yard to protect the fence since all these holes are reoccurring or they pay for a fence made of some material that their children won't damage .

geezerette · ‎03-16-2010

I agree this is a difficult and frustrating situation.

The first thing I would do, if it were me, would be to tell the neighbor that if he really wants to help me, he needs to put up a barrier on his side of the fence to keep the damage from happening in the first place. Right now he seems to be perfectly happy to pay for the damages and let you have the hassle of continuing to deal with them.

If this continues, you do have to make some decisions as to how far you're willing to go or how much you're willing to tolerate.

Sooner · ‎03-10-2010

Can you ask the neighbors to put up a fence on their side on the spots where it is happening? If not, I'd be tempted to take the fence down where the holes occur especially if they would then have to fence their side because of pets of something.