Husband dealing with a difficult situation... - Page 2

Mom2Dogs · ‎03-09-2010

I really worry about his health...keeping feelings inside are not good.

He has thanked me for helping (NO I did not need to be thanked)....there is no way either of this could have done all the work on our own in the short time frame we had, and he would have done the same for me if the situation was reversed.

Once things (house full of items) were boxed up and moved to storage, the apartment needed to be cleaned. Then, what did not fit in the unit had to be stored at our home. This was all done in 3 short days, in the heat. I was very worried about him, I needed to vent at times otherwise I would have imploded, I was just hoping he would be more vocal so that he could get it out and try to let it go.......

qualitygal · ‎10-04-2010

I wouldn't add to his agony at his age. Your upset, will only vent and make you feel better, not him, and it won't solve anything. Journal it out of your system. I think there's enough bumpy road to go down now and for awhile. You more than likely are already telling him things he's aware of. JMHO. Hope it all works out for you all. Men don't react to a lot of what we do in the same way and we think if we do such and such he'll open up, not so, it just compounds the thing. Maybe be quietly supportative?

hckynut · ‎03-10-2010

@Mom2Dogs

I really hope everything works out well for you and all concerned with this issue. Does your husband use other methods to release built up stresses, like maybe exercise/music/meditation, a pet? Everyone, in my opinion, needs an outlet for things that bother them as they accumulate. I hope so, and I agree with you, keeping certain things inside, is not good for many people.

Best to all of you,

hckynut(john)

hckynut(john)

Still keeper of the koi · ‎05-04-2017

@mom to dogs, I am sorry you have had to work so hard, helping your husband . I would be upset if it was something she caused and left her father and you to pick up the pieces.I think it depends on What happened.It is his daughter and he is doing what a loving father should do ,unconditionally love her.It is hard to know what is going in in another's mind,he maybe just as upset. Maybe in the days to come he will speak with you about it when he has had some time.You have done the right thing by standing with him and helping, a loving wife, you are concerned for him it shows. Maybe grill a nice dinner sit outside and let the conversation flow easily about other things and your concern for him and his daughter. I am sure he appreciates you greatly . I hope all works out for all of you.Please take care of yourself as well...Maryanne

MarkeieMark · ‎06-24-2012

This sounds more about you than him.

happycat · ‎09-18-2010

In my opinion, you are certainly not wrong to vent to him and tell him how you are feeling. This is obviously a difficult situation your family is going thru, it would be very hard to me to keep quiet. I hope he doesn't expect you to keep quiet.

I vent to my husband, and vice versa. When he is upset about something at his job or whatever, I want him to talk to me and tell me what is going on. I vent to him also, it makes me feel better to get it all out in the open.

I would explode if I never got to vent.

I hope things get better for you and your family soon. And I hope your daughter gets all the help it sounds like she might be needing.

Take care @Mom2Dogs

Plaid Pants2 · ‎03-14-2015

I would let him deal with this in his own way, even if it's not the way that you want him to deal with it.

In other words, leave him alone, and quit harping on what he "should" do.

Mom2Dogs · ‎03-09-2010

@Plaid Pants2, I will say it ONE MORE TIME, I am NOT HARPING ON HIM!

QVCkitty1 · ‎05-23-2015

@Mom2Dogs wrote:
My step daughter had a crisis this last week, her dad and I were left to clean up her apartment, pack and store her things....It was a HUGE amount of work done in a very short period of time. She is currently in a safe place so the worry about her safety is over for the short term.

DH is 76 years old....I am much younger....this has been really hard on him...I am a bit more vocal, it helps me cope, he is quiet and allows things to fester. When I would vent, I would tell him I love her and want the best for her but I did say what I thought as we went thru her 'stuff' to get it packed.

We are standing firm -together on what has to be done to get her help but is it wrong for me to vent outloud to him about how I am feeling? I would feel better if he would talk about what he was thinking.....

@Mom2Dogs, I don't understand why so many posters are jumping all over you. It is perfectly normal to want to have a conversation about your situation with his daughter. People are so quick to judge without being helpful. Try to get you DH to open up, there is nothing wrong with talking, it's when you stop that things get bad. JMO. Best of luck.🌺

" You are entitled to your opinion. But you are not entitled to your own facts."
Daniel Patrick Moynihan