Among Friends

[Lucky Charm]

Only read the first few responses, couldn't take reading any more.

The daughter is no longer a minor, correct?

You are his number one responsibility and he is your number one responsibility.  Period.

Not good that he lets things fester.  Can be deadly, in fact.  They always say, you need to get rid of the source of your stress.  Getting him to talk or at least get help to stop this from building up inside him.

Can't understand why so many posters think that's trying to *change* him.  It's not, it's called helping him.

[CatsyCline]

op i just have to ask, on another thread. the deprssion thread, you said the daughter was menopausal and extremely depressed and tried to OD on prozac. she called and was crying and incoherent. because she was hospitalized she was in fear of losing her job.   and she has children. where are her children in this? you can't make someone just snap out of depression.  auctioning off her belongings? wow i find that harsh.

[Mom2Dogs]

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@ashleigh dupray wrote:

op i just have to ask, on another thread. the deprssion thread, you said the daughter was menopausal and extremely depressed and tried to OD on prozac. she called and was crying and incoherent. because she was hospitalized she was in fear of losing her job.   and she has children. where are her children in this? you can't make someone just snap out of depression.  auctioning off her belongings? wow i find that harsh.

@CatsyCline...we are not ignorant people, she will not just 'snap out' of depression.  I find that remark insulting.

We found out she was drinking heavily.  She is currently enrolled in a year long rehab program. The program will help her deal with the depression, drinking and also offers life skills, and will help in finding a job.  She has several skills that will help her find employment.

1 child is with her dad, the other married with children.

We did not find out about the hospitalization until after the fact!

The auctioning off of her things was to let her know we are not paying for storage for her things for years.

The program she is in will help her find a job in about 4-6 months...if she sticks with the program -getting her things out of storage and getting a place  is a real possibility...she has always NEEDED deadlines otherwise she would take advantage of the situation.  We believe in tough love.

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[esmerelda]

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@Mom2Dogs wrote:

My step daughter had a crisis this last week, her dad and I were left to clean up her apartment, pack and store her things....It was a HUGE amount of work done in a very short period of time.  She is currently in a safe place so the worry about her safety is over for the short term.

DH is 76 years old....I am much younger....this has been really hard on him...I am a bit more vocal, it helps me cope, he is quiet and allows things to fester.  When I would vent, I would tell him I love her and want the best for her but I did say what I thought as we went thru her 'stuff' to get it packed.

We are standing firm -together on what has to be done to get her help but is it wrong for me to vent outloud to him about how I am feeling?  I would feel better if he would talk about what he was thinking.....

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@Mom2Dogs "Vent" is so overused.  Maybe what you're doing is sharing your feelings, which certainly is not wrong.  Maybe you should ask him if he minds hearing your thoughts.

I only read your first post, so maybe someone has already said this.

[Lindsays Grandma]

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@Tinkrbl44 wrote:

One thing keeps coming back to me ......  too many spousal arguements boil down to someone thinking "Why can't you be more like ME?"

I've no idea how many years the OP has been married to this man, but I would certainly hope they would have already worked out how they communicate and handle differing opinions by now.   Her complaints sound like something a pair of newlyweds haven't worked out yet!

As for spending 3 days doing difficult packing work in an apartment obviously without air conditioning, sorry, but you have to be kidding!     There are plenty of high school boys that would be thrilled to make some spending money packing and moving boxes.   You supervise, they do the work.    WHY would anyone do this themselves ..... unless they were at the poverty level and couldn't really afford at least partial help with such a job?

JMO folks.

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Makes sense to me.  However, hiring strangers could be worrisome.  Will they steal something, will they be careful with fragile objects?  Professional movers more than likely would not be a problem, a group of teenagers?  Not so sure.

[Lindsays Grandma]

momtodogs...You and your husband did the best you could under stressful circumstances.  No one, and that includes every person who posted here knows how they would react or handle the same situation.  Talking about it and giving opinions are far different from living it.  I hope from here on out it will be smooth sailing, take care of  yourselves, God Bless you.

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@Mom2Dogs wrote:

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@ashleigh dupray wrote:

op i just have to ask, on another thread. the deprssion thread, you said the daughter was menopausal and extremely depressed and tried to OD on prozac. she called and was crying and incoherent. because she was hospitalized she was in fear of losing her job.   and she has children. where are her children in this? you can't make someone just snap out of depression.  auctioning off her belongings? wow i find that harsh.

@CatsyCline...we are not ignorant people, she will not just 'snap out' of depression.  I find that remark insulting.

We found out she was drinking heavily.  She is currently enrolled in a year long rehab program. The program will help her deal with the depression, drinking and also offers life skills, and will help in finding a job.  She has several skills that will help her find employment.

1 child is with her dad, the other married with children.

We did not find out about the hospitalization until after the fact!

The auctioning off of her things was to let her know we are not paying for storage for her things for years.

The program she is in will help her find a job in about 4-6 months...if she sticks with the program -getting her things out of storage and getting a place  is a real possibility...she has always NEEDED deadlines otherwise she would take advantage of the situation.  We believe in tough love.

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