Re: How do you "move on"

AngelPuppy1 · ‎03-13-2010

@Mistreatedbycs wrote:
Never thought it would be this hard to actually move on. Loss of parents, house being sold, furnishings being sold, lots of memories but it's really hard.
Some things in life need to be easy but this is not one of them.

@Mistreatedbycs

This is a major, traumatic occurence. It's not just the house, the contents, per se. It's the meaning behind them. It encompasses your life. How you got your start in life. Your memories growing up as a child. All the experiences you had with your parents. These feelings and memories go right along with this house - your home. You can't think about your parents without thinking about the house and the things which were inside and around the house. It's no small thing. You can't be expected to just box everything up and forget it and do the same with your feelings. Though the house and most of these things will physically be gone, you will always carry these memories with you forever. It will get easier but time is the only thing that will ease the pain and sadness. Be patient and kind to yourself. Allow yourself to grieve this transition. it is natural and normal.

"A day without sunshine is like, you know, night." - Steve Martin

Nataliesgramma · ‎03-28-2015

@Havarti wrote:
It was this very experience in life that taught me our memories are not in those things, but alive a well in your heart and your mind. We had a wonderful time sharing memories about even the littlest of things, like mixing bowls that mom used to whip up the batter & frosting for our birthday cakes, or the measuring stick that was used to mark our height each year just as the school started, or the baby jars that dad used to store assorted nuts, screws & bolts. If only I had a nickel for every time we said “I remember” as we sorted through their household of treasures. For me the actual hardest thing was walking out the door for the last time and turning my back to walk away. But it was also the moment that I knew the now empty shell of their home had not held the memories, all those memories where going out the door and down the walk with me. There were no treasures in my hands, they were all in my heart. You will get through this and you will still have all those memories to last your lifetime. Hang in there!

Walking out of her house for the last time...first Holiday whout them there are the hardest moments....but it does get easier with time...

meallen616 · ‎01-10-2013

Think positive, stay strong,

jackthebear · ‎03-11-2010

@Mistreatedbycs wrote:
Never thought it would be this hard to actually move on. Loss of parents, house being sold, furnishings being sold, lots of memories but it's really hard.
Some things in life need to be easy but this is not one of them.

for me once my parents were dead, the house and belongings were a burden and getting rid of them was freeing in many ways. It wasn't anything without them

Perhaps a counselor will help you work through your feelings without any judgements.

We all go through that stage of our lives

Bird mama · ‎03-12-2010

@Mistreatedbycs

As women, I honestly think we don't have a choice. I think somewhere in our DNA we are hard wired to keep going. Personally I think our creator wired us that way because he/she (trying not to offend anyone here) knew that women anchor everything.

I've been through many losses and moving on wasn't even a conscious decision. Using this analogy, I was basically laid out flat, stayed there for a little while, made it to my knees and crawled a little and then worked my way up to a standing position. It's a day by day thing and we keep moving.

Women just 'do'. There is no other option for us. The wounded heart heals and we develop a scar, but we 'do'.

One day, when you least expect it, you will see something funny and hear a noise that you haven't heard in a while. It will take you a minute to realize that you are the one making the noise - you will actually be laughing.

Hold close and cherish the memories. It's my experience that losses of people who knew me when I was 'wee' and saw me grow up and develop into the person I am have been the hardest.

This sounds corny, but you really do carry a piece of your parents with you. I believe we are separated by something as thin as a veil. The spirits of those we love are not that far from us. I don't think love dies and the connection is ever truly severed.

There are times when you must speak, not because you are going to change the opposing side, but because if you do not speak, they have changed you.

Bird mama · ‎03-12-2010

One more thing - you don't really get over it. You adapt and learn to live with it

There are times when you must speak, not because you are going to change the opposing side, but because if you do not speak, they have changed you.

schindy · ‎03-18-2016

I'm sorry for everything you are going through. I don't think "move on" applies, you will learn to live in what has been referred to as "your new normal". I have been through a few rough roads as well; my father died when I was 8, my mom when I was 21, divorce after 25 yrs of marriage and the worst of them all - my son was murdered 8 yrs ago.

I personally will never move on, I am trying to get through each day - one day at a time.

Please give yourself time to grieve for the losses/changes in your life, and don't put expectations on yourself. If you are up to it, try to keep busy and lean on your friends/family for support.

Sending prayers and hugs to you ..

software · ‎06-08-2016

I'm sorry for all the loss & change in your life.

Been there done that.

You will get to a place where you will re-invent yourself & find your own purpose. It's not easy, it's not fun but when it happens it can open doors for you to meet new people.

Keep your memories locked away in your heart but also keep yourself open to new experiences.

@Mistreatedbycs wrote:
Never thought it would be this hard to actually move on. Loss of parents, house being sold, furnishings being sold, lots of memories but it's really hard.
Some things in life need to be easy but this is not one of them.

reiki604 · ‎03-09-2010

@september wrote:
No, it won't be easy. I think you just take one step at a time

it will it will get easier with each step. Sending you hugs and good wishes.

This is absolutely correct, for me anyway...........it's one foot in front of the other for however long it takes for each footstep to become easier.

'I refuse to engage in a battle of wits with an unarmed man'.......Unknown

colliegirls · ‎05-13-2012

@BalletBabe wrote:
I buried My Mother at the age of 29, I was 27 when I buried one of my brothers, Then at age of 34 buried another brother and 3 months later my Father. This year, I buried my husband. I truely understand what your feeling. LIke everyone else said , it takes time. It takes a long time, and I am not sure I ever got over it 100%. You learn to accept it and move on. Keep busy that helps a lot. Prayers for you to get through this difficult time.

I am so sorry. You have experienced more loss than anyone should. A loss is so much more tragic when the person is young and the loss is premature.

Losing our parents eventually is expected and inevitable, but hopefully in old age, not at a young age.