Among Friends

[CalminHeart]

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@house_cat wrote:

I retired last year and I'm trying very hard to live within my means on a drastically reduced income.  Since moving here 2 1/2 years ago, I have had frequent overnight guests, some staying as long as 10 days. 

This week a friend is visiting and I cleared my schedule, which means turning down four days of substitute teaching income, as well as having to fund expensive sightseeing adventures.

I'm blessed to have people in my life who want to see me, but the cost of it is quite burdensome.

How do you handle the cost of having houseguests?

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You need to figure out ways to afford it or be honest. Being honest also comes with the risk of upsetting some people and/or losing a friend or two. Which is more important to you?

Can you travel to their homes?

[Jo1313]

Living in the "woods" there are a lot of things that aren't available( variety) here like in the city.

Most of my "guests" are family and the bring their own food for the most part..Who has a dairy allergy, who has Celiac' and needs certain goods ( shampoo,soap,etc)..allergies to other foods..

Don't want to be the cause of someone ending up in the ER

They are good at keeping things tidy.

Yes I am relived pretty much when they leave.

[CelticCrafter]

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@house_cat wrote:

@on the bay 

You're providing the opportunity for me to try out my new response... "I'm sorry. That won't work."

Ugh....

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@house_cat I wouldn't even say I'm sorry.  

[CelticCrafter]

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@CalminHeart wrote:

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@house_cat wrote:

I retired last year and I'm trying very hard to live within my means on a drastically reduced income.  Since moving here 2 1/2 years ago, I have had frequent overnight guests, some staying as long as 10 days. 

This week a friend is visiting and I cleared my schedule, which means turning down four days of substitute teaching income, as well as having to fund expensive sightseeing adventures.

I'm blessed to have people in my life who want to see me, but the cost of it is quite burdensome.

How do you handle the cost of having houseguests?

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You need to figure out ways to afford it or be honest. Being honest also comes with the risk of upsetting some people and/or losing a friend or two. Which is more important to you?

Can you travel to their homes?

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@CalminHeart living on a fixed income, my own quality of life would be more important to me than losing a friend or two.  

[qualitygal]

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@house_cat wrote:

@jackthebear 

I appreciate the advice, but it seems impossible to me.  If a friend says they want to visit me, I can't say no. I think that would be terribly hurtful.

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You've just answered your own question. Adding what Eleanor Roosevelt said, "No one can take advantage of you, without your permission."

[Zwervend]

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@house_cat wrote:

I retired last year and I'm trying very hard to live within my means on a drastically reduced income.  Since moving here 2 1/2 years ago, I have had frequent overnight guests, some staying as long as 10 days. 

This week a friend is visiting and I cleared my schedule, which means turning down four days of substitute teaching income, as well as having to fund expensive sightseeing adventures.

I'm blessed to have people in my life who want to see me, but the cost of it is quite burdensome.

How do you handle the cost of having houseguests?

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Did you actually extend an invitation to these people or are they self inviters? If you've extended the invitation, you'll need to set firm boundries regarding the length of stay and be clear that you won't be funding their portion of meals, excursions, etc. 

I have a beach place in Florida, and the list of attempted mooching tactics that people have used is long and quite amusing. Not a one of them has ever been successful. I just  say "I'm not able to accomodate guests". I don't say "I'm sorry", because I'm not.  I don't say "this isn't a good time" because no time will be a good time. People who are rude enough to attempt to self-invite don't deserve any response other than "no". 

[Zwervend]

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@house_cat wrote:

@jackthebear 

I appreciate the advice, but it seems impossible to me.  If a friend says they want to visit me, I can't say no. I think that would be terribly hurtful.

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@house_cat - would they still want to visit if they had to pay 100% of the costs of the visit, including a hotel, themselves? 

[PABoater]

Can't your friend come over a weekend and perhaps stay just 1-2 days during the week so that you can work? 

Where do you live? If hte weather is nice, guests can certainly fend for themselves while you work.

[qualitygal]

hey, fess up, let them know you've moved to Alaska to live off the grid.  

[Group 5 minus 1]

What kind of replies were you expecting? Sounds like any of the posters attempting to help you,you just don't like what they say. Why did you even post this?

The easiest way is to just say,"no".