Reply
Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,351
Registered: ‎05-04-2020

@CalminHeart 

So very sorry for your loss and sending my deepest condolences.  May he rest in eternal peace and his memory be a blessing.  Please take care.

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,291
Registered: ‎06-15-2015

@CalminHeart 

 

I am very sorry. With adding age to our life, comes with the loss of more people we love, along with close friends. 

 

I can only repeat what you said:

"It's called life". 🙏

 

hckynut 🇺🇸

hckynut(john)
Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,631
Registered: ‎06-14-2016

Sending Prayers, hugs and well wishes your way

Happiness is ALWAYS an inside job,
Don't assign anyone else that much POWER
in your life!!!
Honored Contributor
Posts: 9,105
Registered: ‎06-10-2010

@CalminHeart   This may bring on a few tears but somehow it always seemed to help me at times like you are going through. I hope you will find some comfort in it.

https://youtu.be/oni0tO_HN30

Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,946
Registered: ‎03-16-2010

I am so sorry for the loss of your brother. Grief is not something we can study, master and put away for good. You will grieve on your own time. Personally, I would probably not like a grief group because I would be more sad then I was. 

My mother died in 2019, 8 weeks later I lost my job of over 30 years in a very horrible way, My youngest brother passed out in a restaurant and refused to go to the ER. I took him to the ER and long story short, he had un-diagnosed diabetes and 5 strokes at age 53. 

I had a lot of grief to go through and it was horrible. I prayed to God more often than daily to help me. I stayed grateful for what I have. I found a new job that was hard for me to do at 61 and learn a new way of doing things at a job. 

Unfortunately, my brother is in a nursing home, his funny personality is gone, he cannot walk. I visit him every Saturday. It is difficult for me to see him, our life was not supposed to go this way. I am very close to my brother too. Seeing him like that hurts me. My mother asked me to take care of him, he was her baby, but she did not know what was about to happen to him.

The pandemic made things worse, I could not visit him for a while. He became very depressed with moms death and his own issues. I would go to counseling if you can, be gentle on yourself, grief happens in your time, in your own way. There is no right or wrong way go grieve. 

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,469
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Sending you hugs and covering you in prayer. 

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,491
Registered: ‎03-13-2010

@CalminHeart 

Reading your post made me want to cry.  I'm so sorry for the pain you are dealing with the loss of brother and your SIL's illness.

 

Even though the pain will never fully disappear, I wish you eventual peace.Heart

Honored Contributor
Posts: 11,618
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

 

Many many thanks for all your TLC, prayers, and encouragement. They are truly appreciated.

 

Some of you asked questions.

 

Yes, I have a dog. We've been together 9 years and he is my shadow. He makes me laugh a lot. We're best pals and do so much together. 

 

I do have a counselor. I talked to her last week. 

 

Church is never hard for me. Some songs remind me of loved ones who are gone and a tear may come even after years and years. I do tend to cry after receiving the Eucharist. It is my special time with God and I know he hears me. I talk to God off and on all day, every day. 

 

I have a great social life. Friends have been rallying around me, bringing meals, flowers, taking me out, and spending time with me. 

 

My favorite way to release stress, sadness, anxiety, etc, is to do yard work. It's like I stop thinking while doing it. I have a very large yard. I've built brick walls, mowed, weeded, trim trees, gardened, and a wide range of projects. Last week, I dug up 3-4" of dirt on one side of my house and replaced it with good soil, plants and mulch.  

Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,351
Registered: ‎05-04-2020

@CalminHeart 

You have so many friends and people who care about you, you're not alone during this tragic time.  Your brother shall never be forgotten.  My heart goes out to you.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 44,347
Registered: ‎01-08-2011

@CalminHeart 

 

I am very sorry for your terrible loss.  Loss is always hard to deal with.

 

The best writing I have ever come across is part of a sermon which was a eulogy presented by a priest.  I wish I had this when we lost our 19 year old son a month after Christmas.

 

Death Is Nothing.jpg