Grandmother's dilemma

lovesrecess · ‎03-14-2010

Any grandmothers here who are asked to babysit too often? Am feeling taken advantage of and it takes the joy out of being with my beautiful grand daughters. We are retired, but we want to also have a life of our own. Anyone else in this situation?

chrystaltree · ‎05-10-2010

You have to learn how to say "no" and set some ground rules. I won't say they are taking advantage of you but I think you probably set yourself up for this by never saying "sorry, not this weekend". I think that's a trap many grandmothers fall into; they never say "no" when asked to babysit and their kids just they drop the kids off with grandma whenever they so please.

YorkieonmyPillow · ‎01-13-2013

@lovesrecesswrote:
Any grandmothers here who are asked to babysit too often? Am feeling taken advantage of and it takes the joy out of being with my beautiful grand daughters. We are retired, but we want to also have a life of our own. Anyone else in this situation?

Tell them you raised your children and you don't want to raise theirs.

(Tactfully)

Q4u · ‎03-17-2010

Tell them to ask you early enough that you can plan for it (or not) and that they'd have enough time to get another sitter....

*~"Never eat more than you can lift......" Miss Piggy~*

Citrine1 · ‎03-09-2010

I know how you feel @lovesrecess. I am in a very similar situation as you. Saying no, for me, is not an option. My daughter doesn't ask me to babysit so she can go party -- she asks so she can work. She is a single mom doing the best she can. How can I say no to that? But, at 61, I would like to feel as if my life is my own and that my husband and I could do some of the things we dreamed we'd do during our retirement years. It's a dilema that I'm seeing more and more grandparents in.

Kitlynn · ‎03-09-2010

This is just my opinion. I don't feel like grandparents should be expected to babysit unless they want to and only when it works for them. I don't think it is selfish in anyway and that they are entitled to a life and to do what they want and it isn't their responsibility to give up their life so they can make it easier for their children. Now I don't have grandchildren but I do have a nephew who is going through a divorce and has a twenty month old. He is staying with us for a while and I told him right up front that I am not taking care of his daughter that is on him. I love him and her dearly but she is not my responsibility. When he has her he does all the care. I do play with her and enjoy her but that is it. We have our own life and no interest in being a young childs' caregiver. We raised our daughter and did all that entailed and when you bring a child into the world it is your responsibility as the parents to take care of them.

aoldgirl · ‎11-10-2015

Gotta say, this has happened to us too. We would be asked to babysit while they went to dinner. 6 to 8 hrs later they showed up to pick up their kids. We were frantic, 11pm they said they did go to dinner, a movie and did some shopping... in the capital city 2 hours away. Funny they didn't mention this when they dropped the (3) grandkids off. After that, we said, "No, sorry we're going out."

OKPrincess · ‎03-10-2013

Your kids can’t take advantage of you and DH unless you let them. When my parents retired they let us 4 kids know tactfully they would not be permanent sitters; that was their time. You should do that too.

lovesrecess · ‎03-14-2010

I could never have a baby staying in the house and not care for her in some way.,you are stronger than I am!

Carolm · ‎09-05-2013

Sorry, but I can't relate to the feeling that I'm spending too much time with my granddaughter. I've had her almost every Saturday since she was two weeks old - she's going to be 13 next month. And I've watched her for an occasional week when her parents were out of town. I treasure every moment with her and will miss the time we spend together when she reaches an age when she'd rather spend time with her friends, than with me.