Re: Friend not coping well...

Sooner · ‎03-10-2010

@Mom2Dogs wrote:

If she is like a few people I've known, as long as you all let her make you miserable to be miserble with her, she will continue to do that.

If and when you stop fretting about it, she will either buck up or find a new set to make miserable for her.

One lady I know was told "hey, you have two choices and only you can decide which you will do--no other options but you have to decide." Her response? "Well I see I'm not getting any sympathy here!" and she was gone. . .

conlt · ‎03-16-2010

I lost my job of 38 years at age 61 and it was devastating to me. There were circumstances around the job loss that made it particularly bad but my job was my life.

I prayed a lot, at that age, it can be hard to find a job. Sometimes people treat you like you have nothing to contribute because of your age.

I ended up finding a job that paid much less, but it is a job and I enjoy it. I have new friends at work and new goals and aspirations. Just because I am 65, I am not ready to quit yet.

I also went to counseling to help with my self-esteem issues. Losing my job after so many years really knocked me for a loop. I got through it, I am happier with my new job, I do not do many activities out side of work though because I do not have time.

She needs support but she needs to do something for herself too. If she can find a job, I bet it would make her happy, She will probably never have a job like she had and when your separation is less than ideal, the job loss really make one feel worthless.

Mom2Dogs · ‎03-09-2010

@conlt I am still working a few days a week and I am currently 67 years old. I enjoy working and would also probably be lost without my job...I have a very small circle of friends so, and really no family in the area.... I would have difficulty filling my days as well.

....so I do have sympathy for my good friend, but she has hung on to the anger and constantly talking about it for months. For me that has been the sticking point, I am just tired of hearing about it, there is PLENTY that she could do inside her home or outside at her pace that could fill her days.

I did speak to her today on the phone, for the first time in quite a while she made no comment about being bored. -she did mention wanting a job, and how good she was at her job, but I ignored the comment and continued on with our conversation...baby steps I guess.

eadu4 · ‎06-14-2011

@Mom2Dogs Not sure if this could be a suggestion but I am in the process of getting a certification in my job. I'll be 63 in 2 weeks. I don't want to lose my job and I know certification is one way to make myself more valuable. Perhaps she can find a course to take and obtain a certification. As we age the more certs we can add to our employability the better our chances of getting and keeping employment. It doesn't have to be anything fancy. But it would keep her brain engaged in something other than being bummed about her job loss. Just a thought.