Among Friends

[Still keeper of the koi]

I often speak of my mother.Mainly my inability to accept her as is,no matter the faults. I held to pain ,the disappointment...Until the past few weeks...I have an amazing life,but these past months have tested me ,tragedy after tragedy, our family  becoming smaller,not bigger.In the mist of this,my mind kept going to my mother, I wanted her,desperately. So last week I called her,she said she was praying to hear from me, maybe  this time in life was waiting to happen.I often speak of love,how could I  speak to others with this in my own life? So I will see her tomorrow, it is her birthday,Our  time is running low.I maybe disappointed again. But maybe this is the forgiveness I often hear of.The  really living.I post this in hopes of someone  else trying one last time to heal old wounds.You are not alone in this.I am  ready  for this time I do believe,when we are ready,it happens..Sending you as always,love hugs and peace...MaryAnne

[NEvans2]

I sincerely hope you find what you're looking for. I never had the chance to have the kind of relationship I would have liked with my mother. Just when things seemed to be heading in the right direction, she died. Suddenly and unexpectedly at the age of sixty. It's been twenty five years, and I still sometimes think " what if ". There's nothing I can do about this now except try to be a good mother to my own kids. And I think I've done pretty well.

Good luck tomorrow.

[Kitlynn]

I hope the meeting with your Mother goes well. The only way to move forward is to forgive and not really expect to have answers to what may have happened in the past. You have to put the past behind you and just move forward towards a new beginning. It is not easy but it can be done. We all have a story and it isn't always an easy read. We feel like we can judge someone from things they have done but even though we don't have to agree with their decisions that led them to to what they did only they really know and understand why they made the choices they did. Life is short and we are all writing our own books. We don't get to write the beginning or the ending but we do get to write all the chapters in between. So you get to decide what you and you alone need in your life. I wish you all the best and I hope your heart feels better from deciding to try and move forward.

[Still keeper of the koi]

Thank you all for holding my hand,the time has  come to move on..I never had a sister, so thank you for speaking as such..,hugs ,love,Maryanne

[qualitygal]

@Still keeper of the koi, There's no time like the present.  It's all we have.  I'm glad you are able to see your mother soon.  It'll probably be good for both of you. I sincerely hope so.  I wouldn't want you to have any regrets down the road.  Just do your best and maybe she will too and it'll be a wonderful visit.  I'll look forward to your reply about it.  Good luck.

[jeanlake]

Stay positive, have soft eyes towards your mother, and keep expectations reasonable. I trust your meeting will go well.

[Q4u]

I sincerely pray that the love you hold for your Mother is stronger than any of the past disappointments you''ve had in your life.   No matter what, love is the emotion that transcends it all.  I hope that everything turns out as you've hoped.....      

[software]

I'd like to suggest to not use the day to rehash the past.

Live for the moment, enjoy the moment.

[OKPrincess]

Mary Ann, Sending prayers for you and your Mom. The past is in the past so let it stay there.

[BirkiLady]

@Still keeper of the koi  Try to enjoy your mother for whom she has become; not what you wanted/expected. Hopefully, she will also place no expectations upon you. Enjoy a visit between two people. You don't have to ever have feelings of love for each other, but finding a friendship and possibly some respect would be a wonderful gift. Forgiveness is good for the soul. Hope this is the beginning of a much better second half of 2018. Keeping you in my thoughts and sending strength as you each take such a big step in reconnecting. Blessings and hugs.