Among Friends

[jubilant]

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@kaydee50 wrote:

No, never.  Have never visited my parents grave.  DH goes to vist his parents grave a couple of times a year.  I don't see the point and my personal feeling is that it's a waste of good real estate.

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@kaydee50  My DH does not visit his parents gravesite. and I'm fine with that.  It is a personal choice and "to each their own".  

Since I don't want to be cremated...I don't think it's a waste of good real estate!!!

[UpNorthGorgy]

I spent at least a week with my Grandparents in the summer. Her oldest son died of Colitis while in the seminary, guessing in the 1920s. Treatable now days. It was a ritual to go every week unless it rained to water the germaniums in the urn.  

I used to as a child walk around looking at the headstones. The one that intrigued me was the one that had a picture of the man in the coffin attached to the marker. I think  from Victorian times when taking pictures of the deceased was a trend?

My parents are both buried there side by side and I haven't  returned. I understand no more room.  Our church started a Columbarium so have a spot reserved.

While in Germany  I learned families have to pay for rent for Cemetery space. If no family is left or doesn't pay, remains are  removed. I thought that was sad.

We visited the WWII Veterans Cemetery where  General Patton is buried near Luxembourg,  We went to a  nearby German cementery and two WWII soldiers were buried together?  Cemeteries in other countries are interesting.

I think everyone is different in handling grief. Some people need to visit and some find it too emotionally difficult. 

[on the bay]

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@jubilant wrote:

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@kaydee50 wrote:

No, never.  Have never visited my parents grave.  DH goes to vist his parents grave a couple of times a year.  I don't see the point and my personal feeling is that it's a waste of good real estate.

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@kaydee50  My DH does not visit his parents gravesite. and I'm fine with that.  It is a personal choice and "to each their own".  

Since I don't want to be cremated...I don't think it's a waste of good real estate!!!

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This makes me think of how I've always felt. Like when someone says do you want to be buried or cremated I always think um neither? Isn't there a better choice?

I mean I guess it's because while alive, we think of these things.

I only wish that death can always be peaceful and however it's done be a beautiful ceremony and give everyone there great comfort and peace. I like to think of it that we have 2 lives-one on earth and one in heaven. So I like to remember someone's "heaven birthday" and makes me feel so much like they are there but always with us too.

[monicakm]

@sarahpanda 

I do not.  I did at first and wondered why.  Probably because I thought I was supposed to.  It's sad and my mind goes places that make it morbid.  It's not what I want to feel or think about.  

[dancing 522queen]

YES, I would always go to visit my parents....

I recently lost my older beloved Brother and I've been going more often. It has been very emotionally  difficult for me now seeing his headstone there too.......  cry alot.... 

I go to talk to them and bring flowers.....say prayers..

[Seminole2]

Since both my parents and brother were cremated, their ashes were scattered in various places where we lived and places they loved.  My DH and I moved almost2 years ago and when landscaping I took the rest of their ashes and placed them under our new queen palm.  We have a bench and we live on a pond (my mom loved water, like me) and I go out there anytime and talk to them on special dates.  Calming for me.  Since I don't have any other relatives, I have been asked to be cremated.... After that I have no clue what will happen.  I don't like to think about that part

[ULY]

Yes and I am not embarrassed to say it. 

[River Song]

My parents ashes are on the West coast and I live on the East coast, so no, I'll most probably not ever visit them.  Although I went to plenty of extended family funerals as a kid, we never went to cemeteries to visit graves.

My first husband's ashes were scattered in the Gulf of Mexico 35 years ago.  My second husband's ashes are in a decorative box, sitting on my bedroom dresser for the past six years.  I still haven't decided where to scatter them and my husband didn't care.

My brother wants half of his ashes with our parents and the other half where he now lives.  Half and half?  Why? I guess he has his reasons.

I'll be cremated and I frankly don't care what happens to my ashes.  Ashes to ashes, dust to dust.  My essence, what makes me, me, is in my spirit, not my body or ashes.  We are all just stardust anyway.  I know humans have been burying their dead for thousands of years, but, for me, I don't see the point.  I want to be cast to the wind, to be stardust again.

There was a small cemetery at the end of the suburban street where I lived as a kid.  We would cut through the cemetery on our way to junior high school as the school was within walking distance of my neighborhood.  The cemetery road was lined with mulberry trees and we would pick the mulberry fruit when it was in season.  So, in that respect, that cemetery is a good memory from my childhood.

[ROMARY]

We used to go almost every other day......Not so much now.  Maybe once every one or two weeks.

What's nice about our local/nearby cemetery (private, not public), is that many families gather on important days to them.  They have picnics and the children are present.

Always a lot of beautiful real and artificial flowers on those particular gravesites.

The children seem happy to be visiting their wonderful relatives.  It's a nice habit / rememberance for the youngsters, imo.

It's always nice to stop and remember nice relatives and friends, no matter where, when, how, etc. .

[CherryHugs]

No. I think I went to one once. Our relatives are buried out of state and family here was cremated.