Among Friends

[shoptilyadropagain]

I was raised in a family where we visited the gravesite of close family members on Memorial Day weekend and sometimes a time or two throughout the year.  We just buried my mom a couple of months ago (and dad was 9.5 years ago).  Luckily, the cemetery is less than 15 miles from home.

I miss my parents tremendously and I do get a little sad sometimes but knowing they're both in heaven gives me great comfort.  We all grieve differently though.

[Sooner]

@sarahpanda So sorry for you loss and your sadness.  No, we aren't cemetery goers.  We bury the body, and it is the body only we bury.  

We still remember, cherish and feel that our loved ones are still there and have every confidence that someday we will be reunited with them in their now perfect happiness and perfectly built new bodies/spirits.  

It is never easy, but it is with faith, belief and hope that we still carry on with for their love between us here and now.  

[lovesallanimals]

My DH passed away this past Spring.  He wanted to be cremated and I selected a beautiful urn and it is in our bedroom.  I realize I cannot keep it here because if something happens to me, I want to make sure he is at a safe and beautiful place.  I have no family so it is up to me.  I looked into what is called a glass front niche where the urn is placed on a shelf behind a glass window.  You can put a photo in there and something personal that meant something to my husband.  I am going to look into this this weekend.  I am beyond devasted, cry every day, and I don't want to remove the urn from my home,. but I know this is what I need to do so that he will be in a beautiful and lasting place.  

That poem above is beautiful and thank you so much for posting it.  

[manny2]

First, I want to honor how deeply you loved, and still love your husband. The way you describe him as the light of your life says so much about the bond you shared. It makes complete sense that visiting his grave brings up both a strong pull and a deep emptiness. 

If the cemetery feels more painful than peaceful, you’re allowed to step back. Grief doesn’t require a ritual that leaves you depleted. You can honor him in ways, through prayer, reflection, or simply speaking to him wherever you are.

There’s no right way to grieve. 

[kitcat51]

Sit, think & talk to him, clean the headstone, tidy up the gravesite & when it's time to go say I'll be back soon, love you, miss you. I also walk around the cemetery & tend old gravesites that have been forgotten....the visits bring me peace & remind me my time above ground is limited.

[seaBreeze]

I find solace there.  Decorate the family stone for spring and holiday.  Yes, they are not there, but it gives me peace.  

[on the bay]

Such beautiful responses.

I also feel that wherever we we feel closest to our loved ones who are no longer here, we will find them

in our hearts. 

[Rockycoast]

After the burial at the cemetery, I don't go to "visit".  That is not where a loved one is. It is just a headstone.  I choose to remember and talk to passed family and friends in my house, in a park, or a place special to them.   I tend to think of them as they were when alive.  Don't need to go to the cemetery for that.

[kitkom]

My parents are always with me. I sprinkled their ashes all around my home. 

[MaverDaver]

DH and I go to the cemetary on Mothers Day, Fathers Day, Christmas, Easter. I try to put down articial flowers for each season on the calendar and of course a grave cover for the Christmas season. Yes, it is sad but I always pray and ask Mom and Dad to watch over me and DH.