Among Friends

[granddi]

All my life I have played the "Glad Game" as my coping strategy to deal with unpleasant happenings.

Such as: I broke my leg. I am glad I did not break both legs." 

One time my high school daughter lost an important tennis match. Her friend consoled her and said "Aren't you glad your name is not Benji!" To this day our family uses this phrase to laugh off silly little set backs.

If you are old enough you might remember the term "Pollyanna" 

What techniques do you use in coping with the curve balls of life?

[Still Raining]

I just take things head on and acknowledge that it is hard right now and sit a bit to digest it all.  After years of life, you know that a death hurts.

Every so often I do cry and wonder "Why Me".  But self pity is no healthier than denying.  Cancer and such just comes.

It is a horrible thing to lie to kids and tell them "of course it does not hurt to have a tooth pulled".  Teach them to deal.

[decaf]

@granddi  When it goes too far there's a name for it

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@granddi wrote:

All my life I have played the "Glad Game" as my coping strategy to deal with unpleasant happenings.

Such as: I broke my leg. I am glad I did not break both legs." 

One time my high school daughter lost an important tennis match. Her friend consoled her and said "Aren't you glad your name is not Benji!" To this day our family uses this phrase to laugh off silly little set backs.

If you are old enough you might remember the term "Pollyanna" 

What techniques do you use in coping with the curve balls of life?

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@granddi When it goes too far and it harms people, psychologists call  "toxic positivi ty"  You can easily google it.

[GenXmuse]

I list all the things I have to be grateful for and internal and external resources I can use to deal with problems. I've learned to be a "cross that bridge" when/if it happens kind of person rather than borrowing trouble that may or may not come to pass. 

[Q4u]

I had an extremely bad/terrible/hard two years when both my parents were dying.  I'm a glass half full person to begin with but let me tell you I had to work to not let anxiety kill me.  I came up with "Well, everything is okay right now at this minute" and it calmed me down so I could enjoy the here and now.  It really helped and I use it when it have to now..... 

[house_cat]

@granddi 

Same as you.. I always think, "It could be worse".

When I was a kid, my dad, who grew up very poor during the Depression would say, "I cried that I had no shoes, until I met a man that had no feet". I guess that made an impression on me.

[Irish1210]

@granddi 

I'm sorry, but not understanding the "Benji" comment, would you please clarify?

I like to remind myself that things could always be worse or that someone in the world is dealing with a more troubling situation than I am ~ this gets rid of my self pity.

[granddi]

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@Irish1210 wrote:

@granddi 

I'm sorry, but not understanding the "Benji" comment, would you please clarify?

I like to remind myself that things could always be worse or that someone in the world is dealing with a more troubling situation than I am ~ this gets rid of my self pity.

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My daughter was playing high school tennis against a great player named Benji. Benji won the match. My daughter thought she was having a bad day. In an attempt to find something good about a crushing defeat, a fellow 14 yo said "at least your name is not Benji." 

It was just a little silly saying that we use to laugh at silly things. 

I never suggested that anyone marginalize serious feelings about death, tragedy, serious illness, depression.And, I would never lie to a child about real life. 

But if it rains out the picnic, I think we can say "well I'm glad we can go to the movie instead." Or if my AC goes out, I can say "well I'm glad its not July."

Toxic Positivity is a good read. I was in no way implying that one should nullify the feelings of others. 

[IamMrsG]

I absolutely believe in living a gratitude filled life, but I do not play those kind of mind games.  When life's challenges get overwhelming, I remind myself that the sun will shine again, the birds will sing again and I just have to get through to the other side.

[skatting44]

When I have experienced difficult times , I do relay on my faith and pray  to give me strength  and acceptance . For me this helps tremendously along with thinking of how other people have experienced far worse and perservered .